Experience description:

I was a university student I lived in a flat with other residents. It was early evening, I never used to watch TV and I was bored, the apartment was very small, and the only part really for me was a small box to sleep in, so I didn't have anything to do, and decided to sleep a while. As soon as I began to sleep, I felt a tingling in my feet, that was going up me and I lifted my head, to see what was happening, and I saw my feet right there, and I noticed I had no control over either of them, I couldn't move them, I leant my head against the pillow, and I asked myself what had happened while the tingling carried on up, I had no control as it climbed up, I felt bad because I didn't know what was happening, when the tingling or recollection (I don't know how to describe it) arrived at my abdomen. It felt like all my intestines were shaken, they moved but didn't hurt me but I felt very strange, it went on up, to my thorax, by now I was feeling very frightened, but I didn't know what had happened to me, and I wasn't calling for help, because I thought that I was staying here sleeping or at best it was a dream, really I wasn't worried and I didn't want to call anyone, also this process was quite rapid. When it got to my thorax I couldn't move my arms just my shoulders, I would have liked it to have happened like this, and I wanted to wake up, (If it was this) but everything was so real, it wasn't a dream, it was very early, I just wanted to sleep because I was bored. As much as I tried I couldn't move to get better from this muscle cramp, and I couldn't breathe, I was very worried, I was thinking God help me, I couldn't breathe. What was happening to me? This cramp passed and I felt it arrive at the level of my mouth, and I felt my mouth open very much trying to get air, but I had no power over my body,

It continued rising, and I blinked a lot to the point where I couldn't anymore. I felt a pressure, almost without pain, really more a pressure on my forehead, where I felt something like when you are sat down and get up, yes it was as if I got up, and from a place of darkness, I could perceive somehow a place of massive dimensions. On going there, I noticed that there was no more anxiety, fear nor serious feelings. There was no sound, I didn't see anyone. I felt that I was still me, that I could speak, that I could think, and I started to ask "What is that?" Where am I?" I worried because I knew that I had stopped breathing, and that if some minutes should pass my brain would die, on this I was clear, I didn't want to die. I spoke a little there I tried to convince who knows who, because I didn't see anything, that I needed to come back, because I didn't want to die, my body wasn't breathing and needed to breathe. In spite of the fact there was peace there, I wasn't really there, and I thought, I want to see myself, I want to see how I am and immediately it was so fast, I felt like you do when you are stood up and suddenly sit down, or as if you get up to go somewhere and end up in another, I couldn't find the words that were adequate. I felt as if I was in my forehead, and I could see my body, it looked like it was on it's side, or it was me that was on my side beside my body, "My God
how ugly I looked" with my mouth open, and half panting, as if anxiously
trying to breathe I wanted to speak or inhale a mouthful of air, I felt sympathy for myself, my eyes half open, again I felt like getting up, and in the dark place, I wanted to look with my own eyes, or someone's, and felt like revolving. I saw all around me, everything was dark, I said to myself "I dont like this" everything was dark, "Why is it all dark?" I dont want to die!
I want to come back. I want to see myself, when I said that I want to see myself again, I felt myself fall, I felt the pressure on my forehead, and I was on my side, and I could see myself as I was. This bit is difficult to explain, I didn't have a body, they hadn't shown my in a story, tales that the spirit is golden, brilliant shining, there could be nothing further from the truth, it was like some essential bright colour, like when you are wearing a cloak of Tulle, bright cream in colour, and you fold it several times, and hang it in in space and at the same time conforming to it, with my tiny points of light that shone, and shook, but their light was very tenuous, I looked so vulnerable, it was an essence that shook rhythmically, as if waving but in a slow graceful way. It was me and I was alive! But now I couldn't see myself anymore, and started to see myself rise, and there was this immense darkness. I went quiet, and then began to feel myself displace, I went into a vertical position, and my displacement felt gentle. But I thought, "What's happening to me?"

I began to ask "Please, don't take me away" "I want to go on living!"
And that I was very young, I am not ready, I want to come back, I want to breathe, my body will die if I don't breathe, I felt myself stop, I heard laughter, jeering, but in the best sense of the word, as if amused with me, so I felt. I knew I wasn't alone, but I couldn't see. I went back and down, I saw my body with my open mouth, I was desperate, because I wanted to enter I wanted to come down, and occupy my body, and I couldn't I didn't know how to do it. I asked myself why? I know I was alive. I could reason I could speak I could see, I could hear the sound of a TV, and the girls in the little sitting room, that connected the bedrooms. They were moments of anguish, this happened a few times, something made me go on up from the dark place where I was, and I made myself stay there, when at last little by little I descended it was as if as much as I went out, I occupied my body, my eyes blinked a lot, and my mouth closed my thorax got bigger, and when I got into it I could inhale air, my stomach turned when I said it in one form or another. They shook, and on going in to my right foot, I raised my body, I felt quite tired when I got back into my legs. I covered my face in my hands, it didn't stop there, someone spoke in my mind, not in my ears, they said don't fear, don't fear, I replied I am not ready, it is too much for me, it wasn't the moment. It tried to talk to me, I don't know what it was or what it wanted from me, now I know, and reading experiences so beautiful that many others have had, I was sorry not to have obeyed it, I stopped looking I stopped listening I stopped wondering, at best I had remained there, then I wouldn't have experienced what I had experienced in all these years. I hadn't been able to tell my story, I realize I am a stubborn spirit. I tried to. To try harder to this voice. I just had to support my back, on the bed, and elevate a leg, everything happened rapidly, and go out again through my forehead, I never had time, I know to raise my right leg off the bed, I went out again through my forehead, I saw my body without form, shaking harmoniously with its millions of living lights, with tenuous light, that comforted me between total blackness and displaced me, through this space and I said.

I am sorry beg your pardon, but I am not ready, not now, I am not ready this time, I said calmly, without anguish, and I came back immediately I entered my body rapidly, and I got up, I went out to the sitting room, and the TV was on, but the girls were chatting, in a bedroom, I went to the kitchen to have some water, felt truly sad, I kept a diary where I liked to write down my notes, my story, or writing of other writers, I asked myself could I write about what had happened? Surprisingly a voice sounded in my head, I know it wasn't me, it said "No!" I was surprised because I thought that it had all ended, but no. I
asked it, could I write about it? It said yes! I tried but when I read it I felt I couldn't really explain it, in words. I felt it broke all the pages. I don't know if this was a NDE, I would like your opinion responsibly put, and I would like to reiterate that it really happened.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event? No

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the time I was alert and conscious.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I felt that I was a being higher or more important I was very alert I could think and discern quicker than normal, I felt like in spite of not wanting to be there, I wasn't afraid, of this place even though it was dark.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I thought I could see without having physical eyes.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear my words even though I knew I didn't have a body.
Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body? Yes Only while I knew that I was in my body, when I left it I don't remember
What emotions did you feel during the experience? First peace, and a feeling of emptiness
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I heard laughter very clearly as if not enduring the necessity to laugh but contained
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It felt like I had arrived in a physical place, a large physical site, but I couldn't see it.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I thought that the weather changed but at the same time, it didn't help my state or produce an effect on my motionless body.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt the difference between the physical plane and the dark region where I had appeared. Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life It felt like my interior was going and would arrive at a point where I could now never return from, I didn't want to die, I knew that in this place I would have ,more chance of returning.
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life ("life after death")? Yes It felt like it was normal what had
happened, and to continue with my lifein another form, wasnt something new so I felt...
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life's meaning or purpose? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life's difficulties, challenges, or hardships? No
During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love? No
During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives? No
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose? No
What occurred during your experience included: Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed I went down a tunnel seeing other beings on the same journey, I thought that I would see angels, I believe in Angels, but I have never seen one.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I don't remember I don't remember anything transcendental or of importance, that had happened at that time, it was only this experience that nwas as if I had had last night.
Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience: Now I never fear death I know that you will die at just the moment just to do it. Never before. When you are ready. I know that life continues. What will I do there? I don't know. But I do know that you will continue when you keep on progressing in knowledge and love.
My experience directly resulted in: Large changes in my life
Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience? Yes That we should respect ourselves help one another, and understand ourselves, All of us are ONE.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have become an empathetic person, sometimes I surprise myself with my intuition, that I have and how many hits I have, and sometimes I perceive fragrances that others can't. I feel more sensitive than before, sometimes more than others, to sense or perceive that I am not alone, that someone isn't one but various people or entities I don't know how to explain it, they are limbs of me. I have had very vivid dreams of deceased family members and have had physical manifestations that have confirmed to me information or beliefs or attitude that I have to take, and they gave it to me. I feel a connection although not palpable I don't know, I have the conviction that a continuity exists between myself here and them there, I know it is all real.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The great respect one has for free will, also love, the understanding wee have, not forgetting the sense of humour.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I spent a lot of time, many years, I shared it with a friend who didn't believe me, then I shut up. Then I wrote here on this page, a short time ago. But I was pending and I was sure they wont publish it, now I don't know if that was it or that I didn't understand and I didn't accept it as an error and that you could share it, or it is that they don't believe me, and for this reason I have written it again, because I am not lying to them.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real This was so real, that in spite of my age, I still consider the things were real, to see my children well settled, well established, together and happy. I am in the will of the Father, if he wants to take me and I will go happily, really there is a connection that remains active, although I don't want to die, but I know that death isn't the end, I am so convinced, it is because I carry the gravity of the soul, I don't doubt even for an instant that I am right.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real Now I am sure of the answer, I don't think it I don't now question it, I don't reason about it. I simply feel. I am happy.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes It is difficult to find friends with affinity for you, I see the spaces and try to fill them. I am more subjective, I like to express what I feel, that which I believe and I don't find all men are equal, They are jealous, so I decide to shut up. I continued with it and with the current people that were so strong especially to those that seemed to be interested. I wanted to know what they felt. That which they dreamt, those that liked it and those disgusted especially to learn and understand and comprehend. It is truly difficult, I am on my own (physically) while at the same time accompanied for a period and then, it fitted in, but I don't know how to help the people put it away, I can count myself but I don't know what to save once we had woken up to the feast. Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes how can I explain previously. I was living in
"a bad copy of life?" I felt as if reality wasn't there, that I was an intelligent being, that needed a physical body, to inhabit this sphere and that I am here in order to LIVE a series of experiences that for now, are far away in my knowledge, and explain it to me?
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Everytime I read any commentaries or questions related to death or the existence of life after death, when I give an opinion over all the things or situations, that I have never seen but that I know, I just don't understand this, I simply believe that which the others say when they are describing their great homes I just say yes.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have learnt three important things. 1) we are immortal 2) that there there is good humour 3) that they respect free will.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you? To offer hope to people. Everything is finely calculated so that we are well and we are going to get better.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No it went well.

Clarke,
telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
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