• $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of

    From Gary Gordon@RICKSBBS to All on Tuesday, February 17, 2026 06:43:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ Issue #8 $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ High Weirdness Issue $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    Contents:

    High Weirdness update
    MicroRant
    "Bob" invades the NeXT computer
    Banished CPU BBS ad
    execution of Those Who Prefer Miracle Whip

    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption SLACK@ncsu.edu
    PO Box 30904 netoprwa@ncsuvm.BITNET
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The "High Weirdness by Mail" concept needs to be perpetuated. Most of the things listed in the book don't exist any more!

    What better source for current information than alt.slack? I propose that
    if you know of some utterly slackful or even slackless source, POST IT! That way, we can all join in the fun...

    I'll start. Here's a good one:

    Dean M. Epstein
    International Student Complex
    Alternative Learning Programs
    1023 Hilgard Avenue
    Los Angeles, CA 90024-0841

    (213) 208-7813

    These people claim to want to promote "world harmony and understanding." All
    I can see that they do is ask for money (sound familiar?). Their approach is novel; at first, they act like they don't want your money, but, if you
    show the slightest interest, you will be bombarded with incredibly
    strange mailings (tantric healings, glasnost poetry, worms of the world) and, if you use a "foreign" sounding name, they will send you the most hilarious materials in bad foreign languages. I used a fake Japanese name, and had
    a friend look at the results. He said it was meaningless nonense-but
    what a concept! Their English stuff is pretty good, so I used another
    address and wrote in German-the results were wild! I'm not sure what this is all about, but it is funny, and since I think it is at least partially
    tax supported, it should be free for the asking.


    Anyway, boys and girls, let's find the best sources of free entertainment
    and post 'em here! "Bob" would want you to!

    --------------------

    I recommend "The Skeptical Inquirer" as an excellent and refreshing >alternative to the unsubstantiated claims of the paranormal that we are >frequently exposed to and often asked to accept. Subscriptions are $22.50 per >year (Box 229, Buffalo NY 14215-0229).


    Other publications of the same type are:

    The British & Irish Skeptic
    (Manchester Skeptics
    71, Bury & Bolton Road
    Radcliffe, Manchester UK M26 0LF)
    10 pounds UK. 14 pounds overseas surface

    Local, regional, and national organizations "with aims similar to those of SCICOP" also publish their own newsletters. There are currently over 70 such organizations worldwide. A listing can be found in any SKEPTICAL INQUIRER.

    --------------------


    NSCE REPORTS
    National Center for Science Education
    P.O. Box 9477
    Berkeley, CA 94709-0477

    The NSCE is mainly concerned with science education in public schools, and especially with countering the attempts to introduce "creationism" into
    public school *science* curricula. There are state organizations, commonly called "Committees of Correspondence," loosly associated with NSCE, and
    sharing the same goals. The California Committee publishes BACC SCIENCE.
    Four other committees publish regular newsletters. A listing of these newsletters can be found in the July-August NSCE REPORTS.

    --------------------

    CREATION/EVOLUTION
    7 Harwood Drive
    P.O. Box 146
    Buffalo, NY 14226-0146

    This is the premier resource for debunking of creationist claims. It is published by the American Humanist Association, but I detect no Humanist
    bias in the material. A subscriber will however, find himself on the
    Humanist mail lists.

    --------------------

    Damn straight! What an excellent idea! Much of "High Weirdness" was culled >from Factsheet Five, a weirdness source. If you want to subscribe:

    Factsheet Five
    c/o Michael Gunderloy
    6 Arizona Ave.
    Rensselear, NY 12144

    Bulk Rate 1st Class
    Sample $3 $3.75
    6 issues $16 $21

    --------------------

    CULTS: (WHACKO CHRISTIAN)

    Jumping for Jesus Club!

    Coach Dennis Clark forms ministry clubs of little kids who jump
    rope for Jesus, travelling the country spreading the Good Word.
    Teams have names like the Popping Preachers, The Hallelujah
    Hoppers, and the Faith Movers. Pretty slick, huh? Repetitive
    physical movement and religious indoctrination have always been a
    good way to brainwashh people and little kids are ideal subjects. Hmmmmm.....Hey, Robbie, c'mere! Jump this rope...

    Church of the Creator:

    PinKs Vs Muds!!!!! Yes, the glories of the Racial Loyalty
    Newletter brought to you in glorious black and white! Try the
    Religion of the White Trash Race! Forget God, Jesus, even Odin!
    ---- only Aryan mortals are worthy of global ownership! The MUD
    RACES must DIE! Yes join the Church of the Creator, and learn
    what it really is to be a twisted , senile, over the top
    hatemonger....

    Find out about Hitler's UFO Forces!
    The 'Rotten Roots' of Jesse Jackson!
    Christmas is Baal-Worship!
    The Dangers of Eating Pork!
    Obey! or Taste My Loving Wrath!


    The Christian Technocrats:

    The White Brotherhood must stand up to the The Forces of Darkness!
    Only those santified by the Pure Light of Scientific Reason can
    truly understand why Our Lord came to this miserable mud ball.He
    came many light years ago crossing the Endless Void alone to
    carry the message of the Space Brothers....


    The Council of Chalcedon:

    Masturbation is Murder!!!! Yes, that's RIGHT!!! Women want
    rights over their bodies?? But what rights do 20 million unborn
    babies have over their VERY SOULS!!?? And what about SPERMS!!??
    Don't you think they cry out in horror as they meet needless
    death on the cold, hard tile of the bathroom floor?!!!!

    --------------------

    National Socialist Movement
    PO Box 42
    Chillicothe
    OH 45601
    USA

    Polish the jackboots, honey, we're going to the Party! My
    enemy's enemy is my friend, Right? Sieg...I mean, God Bless
    Amerika!

    --------------------

    Fusion Magazine (and other LaRouche booklets)
    Box 17149,
    Washington DC 20041

    The People's Temple of Politics, with Jonestown just around the
    corner... Do NOT subscribe yourself. These people are so rich
    and so off the wall they're scary... Approach with caution; these
    guys can afford to use the kind of tactics the poorer hate groups
    can only fantasize about....

    --------------------

    National Federation For Decency
    PO Drawer 2440
    Tupelo MS 38803

    Bet you thought sex was NATURAL, right? Wrong! It's evil and
    depraved and practised in the dark by twisted, dopesucking
    buttfucking commie pinko queers like YOU!

    --------------------

    Christian National Socialist White America Party
    Box 1133
    Pacific Palisades
    CA 90272

    What can you say? Put your MP on their mailing list.

    --------------------

    Christians Awake
    PO Box 3513
    West End Station
    Birmingham
    AL 35211

    All politicians are under the control of UFO Zionist Freemasons!
    Even Jesus is the AntiChrist --- half of the time!!! One issue
    of their magazine goes into mind-boggling detail showing how the
    mathematical dimensions of the Washington monument prove that it
    is a phallic symbol erected by Masonic Jews and Catholic Devils.

    --------------------

    Action Amenities
    1093 Broxton Ave
    Suite 567
    Los Angeles
    CA 90024

    Hate-psychosis materials for the seriously stoned. Psycho-racist
    rant cassettes and spiritually obscene materials.... That's Right!
    Love Me ---- or Die!

    --------------------

    Christian Anti-Communist Crusade
    227 E.Sixth St
    Box 890
    Long Beach
    CA 90801-0941

    Name says it all. Stereotypes apply here. Put your local Church
    on their mailing list. Wait, what if they're ALREADY on it?

    --------------------

    Spiral Feedback
    PO Box 80323
    Lincoln
    NE 68501

    George Bush is about to put everyone in concentration camps!
    Ronald Reagon was a Disney created Android! Freedom of Choice
    is a Tool of Satan! The Pope is the AntiChrist! Time is running
    out!

    --------------------

    Spiral Mobius
    Spiral Enterprises
    347 N.Union Station
    Kennet Square
    PA 19348

    Government-built UFOs! Clone Androids of high US officials!
    Gang rapes by alien bloodsuckers maquerading as
    telecommunications engineers, ice-creams salespeople and
    intelligence operatives!

    --------------------

    Truth Missionaries of Positive Accord
    PO Box 42772
    Evergreen Park
    IL 60642

    Listen Unheeding Earth-Fools...Are YOU one of the assigned
    creatures? No? Well bad luck, pal, because you'll miss out on the
    Milk Rays from the Black Hole, Eternal Youth, Riches Beyond Your
    Wildest Dreams, and ETERNAL LIFE --- or your MONEY BACK!!!

    --------------------

    Asatru Free Assembly
    PO Box 1754
    Breckenridge
    TX 76024-1754

    Hoar-Frost Giants LIVE! If you're into Marvel Comix Thor, you'll
    feel right at home amongst these hairy 'Doctors For Wotan'
    Frolic with burly red-bearded Agar and the other Dwarf-Lords at
    the Northern Lights Hot Tub and Spa!

    --------------------

    Entertaining Demons Unawares
    SouthWest Radio Church
    PO Box 1144
    Oklahoma City
    OK 73101

    Star Wars/Dungeons and Dragons and WonderWoman's AntiChrist
    Satanic connections in horrifying detail. You'll be raptured to
    death over this one!

    --------------------

    Lighthouse Publications
    2402 E.Denmar Avenue
    Lufkin
    TX 75901

    Cloned Homo Nazi Punks In YOUR Future. Gags and restraining
    straps not included.

    --------------------

    Aryan Nations
    Church of Jesus Christ Christian
    Box 362
    Hayden Lake
    ID 83835

    You don't even need to play it backwards! Yes! 'Bye Bye Miss
    American Pie' is an unbelievably detailed piece of Biblical
    Prophecy! This one song reveals the 'decisive struggle' between
    America and the heathen armies gathering on our central american
    doorstep. Yes! MORE will be REVEALED!!!!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Let us not speak of Ferraris and Audis and other pacifiers of the
    CON generation. Those adult playthings that are sucked upon to
    please the Andrew Jacksonheads in our pockets. Pablumstyles of
    the Rich and would-be-famous.

    Let us speak instead of the Xists Giant Terrarium, that ozone depleted
    chunk of rock we call the Earth. It is now nearly 2000 years since
    a guy was nailed to a tree for saying how nice it would be if we would
    all give each other some slack.

    Things are even weirder now than they were then and this is the first
    run-on sentence of the third paragraph and if you don't like it, well
    kill me, and I'll just keep right on talking, er, typing, er having
    telepathy with this silicon life form because I just had a Margarita
    on a Sunday afternoon after decorating the house because the CON says
    I should and I don't want to blow my cover just yet because great things
    are in store for the following solar year that the CON says is 1991 but
    really isn't because they've brainwashed us all and changed the calendar
    on us and decided not to tell the really stupid people because they might
    panic and then the CON would have a whole pile of excrement on their
    collective appendages and the Sunday afternoon Sun coming through my
    office window is setting on my would-be-bleeding head and Frosty the
    Snowman is on the root window of my Xist Window screen and I'm feeling
    a little...

    Oh wow. There's a cloud outside my window that looks like a flying
    Saucer.

    Theeey're Heeeeere.

    --
    Krazy Little-endian MoFo
    Clench of the Pin-shaped Head of Benny
    uunet!wang!gozer!klm

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Just sitting here reading my copy of 0.9 NeXT manuals, and low and
    behold , on page 171 "Bob" appears:

    [instructions for the format of a data document]:

    "For example, to set the value of a field to

    J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

    enter the value

    "J.R. ""Bob"" Dobbs"

    not much going on here on a late, weird Friday afternoon, so I thought
    Bob had done "it" to us again!!!

    scb

    --
    Steven C. Blair Computer Services Manager
    Frame Technology Inc. 2911 Zanker Road San Jose, Ca. 95134 Pick-A-Bone: scb@frame.com sblair@riacs.edu frame!scb@ames.arc.nasa.gov
    UUCP: {backbone(ames,adobe,riacs,vsi1)}!frame!nevdull!scb

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    YES, you should MOST CERTAINLY call:


    \ ______________ /
    | |
    -| Banished CPU |-
    |______________|
    / \
    __________________________
    [__________________________]
    _ _
    [_] Not Recommended by [_]
    _ _
    [_] Thought Police [_]
    __________________________
    [__________________________]


    o System Operator: Maynard "the Main Nerd"
    o BBS software: RemoteAccess v1.01 and Waffle v1.64
    o Most relevant hardware:
    o 300-38,400 bps (MNP 1-5, v32, v42, v42bis) Intel 9600EX modem
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    o Expanding and still under construction! We plan to go
    MULTI-LINE soon!
    o We plan to have regular Usenet news feeds soon!
    o No usage fees at this time!
    o Open to callers starting 00:01 AM, Friday, 08-09-91!
    o Telephone number: (503) 232-6566


    All points of view are welcome!
    Primarily dedicated to FREEDOM OF SPEECH
    Also dedicated to EXPOSING and FIGHTING FASCISM and RACISM
    The Sysop is DISGUSTED with ISRAEL'S POLICIES!


    Support FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Read and speak FREELY about
    controversial things that are CENSORED elsewhere! Download and
    save COMPLETELY LEGAL (in the U.S.), EXTREMELY REVEALING texts --
    easily among the MOST FREQUENTLY CENSORED in the WORLD! Exercise
    your right to INTELLECTUAL FREEDOM! Find out who is CONTROLLING
    HISTORY, the MEDIA, and the GOVERNMENT in America and elsewhere,
    EVEN AS YOU READ THIS!
    ^^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^

    Keep freedom ALIVE!

    Call today!

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    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Summary: execution of Those Who Prefer Miracle Whip
    Sender: Rev. Moses of the Dobbsodoxic Clench,3rd pyroneural orthonoxious synod

    (This is about to be a public service message from the Screamin' Church o' de Epilectic Jesus, so, like, listen up)

    Yeah....so the Stark Fist had grabbed me on that Special Part, I guess it must have been the Stark Fist of Retrieval tryin' to retrieve some o' my genetic material, and it was pretty close, but I guess it's presence triggered some Conspiracy sensors, and they turned off the hot water in my shower, and the Fist just fled and it took most of my slack with it...Yeah, I guess it's true what they say, that
    HE WHO TOUCHES HIMSELF SHALL EAT THE BREAD OF AFFLICTION,
    but it's a tastier bread than the homogenized pablum the Conspiracy shoves
    down our throats...we swallow-not-spit and think we like it....
    man, the Con is everywhere...it's all around us...it's fat ladies in checkered dresses beating their children in the A&P...it's Christ without a penis...it's Presidents of these United Castor-head Pussies of America that look like they can't get erections anymore...it's waves radiating from your TV and telephone and family pets at subliminal levels advocating consumerism and life-without- mind...it's the whorship of millions of Americans of an obese aging unfropped Elvis...it's wave after wave of cattle mutilations sweeping the Midwest with the Xist-controlled media limiting the coverage of them to the Weekly World News, the only non-Con paper around...but I guess you knew all that...yeah, when they let me out they gave me a piece of paper that said my mind is OK,
    I got it right here...oh, wait, that's my brother's, he's still inside... anyway, how many people do you know that got a piece of paper says their mind's OK? I bet those ladies down at Job Service who threw me out don't have one, although actually what I have is a loaner mind they had lying around at the Place, they really kept my mind, I didn't like the idea at first but after their drugs and treatments under the Machine I came to see that it was best that my mind be kept there for analysis and experimentation, for the safety
    of humanity...Yeah, it's true that I've been bad...slackless...I've taken the Con's false drugs and partaken of it's false sex...but I repent, and I pray:
    O "BoB", you know that I am a fucker, a dickwad, shithead, and a pee-monger
    But "BoB", as you see me in my...naked glory
    Glorify me, that I may glorify YEE, yeah YEE who was were not the prophet spoken of by the prophet Eez-a--pee when he saith: Dokters fer BoB...and yet was somehow unconnected to the later slaying of John Lennon. Yeah, you know that Hypercleats, he ate my brain and vomited my mind back up into my brain pan ...I think there's some of my brain still in there with the diced carrots and creamed corn...but you know, I'm not sure.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I walked in to the Burger King the
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ other day, and told the woman at the
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ register that I had misdialed Fiji.
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ She said she couldn't give me instant
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ credit. I said, "AT&T always did".
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ She blubbered, "But you're not dealing
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ with AT&T!" "Well I am NOW!" I said
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ as I stormed out the door. Then I
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ walked to the nearest pay phone,called
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ the operator and ordered a Whopper.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@ $ $ $ $ $
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ 1 3 0 1 3
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ |
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ -+-
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ j
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ His Rightful Assholiness
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ $20
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@--WOOF! D R O N F The pipe is
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ R N alive!
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ O O
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ N R
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ F N O R D
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Pen up your Nose! No One is Safe!
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Send all negotiable securities to:
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PO Box 30904
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Raleigh, NC 27622
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear
    Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in
    PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 782-3095 $ 28 countries!"
    Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Gary Gordon@RICKSBBS to All on Tuesday, February 17, 2026 06:44:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #9, but who's counting? $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    This is the first issue of the HToMC News in nearly a year. Only the
    extremely slackful mail from Priestesses Beth and MB saved us.

    NEWS since the last time:

    Washington DC Pro-Choice Rally: Largest rally ever held in the
    capital. Several Dobbsheads sighted; favorite sport was lobbing
    tennis balls onto the White House lawn, much to the chagrin of the
    Secret Service spooks. Disappointingly few anti-choice demonstrators
    to harrass, although they all took a copy of The Pamphlet.

    DragonCon in Atlanta: Successful Gut-Blowout in Room 538, with the
    "Bob"'s Blood drink quickly running out: not enough time to kill
    another "Bob". This event was also covered by MTV.

    WorldCon in Orlando, Florida over Labor Day Weekend. Yeah, I know,
    this also overlaps with the World SubGenius Convention in Chicago,
    but the WSC is staged to draw the bobbies away from the *real* party.

    HToMC will be at PhenomiCon this year- see ad in this issue.

    Keep those cards and letters pouring in! Due to the new zine format,
    drawings and other artwork will also be accepted for upcoming issues.

    DOBBS SIGHTINGS:

    Flaming Carrot Comics #28
    Dark Horse Comics
    10956 SE Main St.
    Milwaukie, OR 97222

    Dobbs helps uncover the secret of the Man in the Moon

    Hyena #1
    Tundra Publishing Ltd.
    320 Riverside Dr.
    Northampton, MA 01060

    THE RETURN OF PEE DOG! Plus, an entire magazine of
    worthy stories and artwork. Destined to be a classic!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A New MacDonalds Advert
    by mathew

    There's a difference at MacDonalds
    Come and eat here if you dare
    Our latest restaurant's open
    It's just off Tienanmen Square

    To our friends the Chinese government [Neat picture here, if you
    We give our hearty thanks had the hardcopy version,
    They've cleared away the rubble pink boy!]
    And they've hidden all the tanks

    It's fun for all the family
    Please bring your children too
    We love kids at MacDonalds
    We've a special place for you

    The clown Ronald MacDonald
    Has not arrived here yet
    He's giving forced abortions
    To the women of Tibet

    He's rounding up the dissidents
    The students and the rest
    For summary execution
    Via a bullet in the chest

    Come join us at MacDonalds
    And help us make a buck
    When it comes to human rights abuse
    We couldn't give a fuck

    That's the difference at
    MacDonalds you'll enjoy

    --------------------------------------
    J. Walter Thompson, a huge ad agency, has a test for all wannabe
    copywriters. They print it every few years as a full page ad in many
    major newspapers. They call the campaign "Write if you want work."

    My response to the question, "Write the history of the
    United States in 100 words or less":

    Creation. Evolution. Civilization. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation. Representation? Declaration. Revolution. Celebration. Constitutionalization. Election. Inauguration. Succession. Institutionalization. Conflagration. Migration. Plantation. Expansion. Destination Manifestation. Annexation. Secession. Rebellion. Abolition. Emancipation Proclamation. Assassination. Reconstruction. Industrialization. Assassination. Invention. Transportation. Urbanization. Exploitation. Stratification. Assassination. Unionization. Protection. Regulation. Suffrage Extension. Balkanization. Destruction. League of Nations. Prohibition. Immigration. Depression. Socialization. Construction. Isolation. Deterioration. Penetration. Fission-n-Fusion. Annihilation. Radiation. Polarization. Militarization. Partition. Persecution. Automation. Failed Invasion. Assassination. Investigation. Division. Demonstration. Mind Alteration. Space Exploration. Bra Incineration. Obfuscation. Resignation. Elation. Stupification. Abortion. Stagflation. Gas Station. Computerization. Communication. Deregulation. Pollution. Deforestation. Kinder, Gentler Nation. Reunification. Reconciliation. Verification. Recession. Demarcation. Obliteration. Glorification. Education?

    copyright 1992 david hyatt -- don't rip it off if you're taking the
    same test!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    AWESOME NEW IDEAS FOR NINTENDO VIDEO GAMES THAT WILL BRING IN MUCH $$$


    After a year sharing a dorm with a roomate who's purpose in life was to
    play video games, I've noticed that just about all video games are of
    the hack/slash/bonk/kill everything you see on the screen variety. Even
    the so called "educational" software titles gave up a long time ago.
    Video games have no redeeming qualities, but perhaps a new idea will bring
    in a waft of fresh air, and make the inventor rich as well.


    IDEA #1:

    Flower Delivery Man- You are Humphrey T. Widdleshuns, a delivery
    man for a florist. The object of the game is to bring happiness and
    sunshine to all your customers and flower recipitents. You get points
    for driving your delivery van in a safe and courteous manner, and the
    happier the world is, the more points you get. The 'fire' button makes
    your character smile, so if you smile at a passer by, you get more points.
    The other fire button makes your character say, "Have a nice day!".

    You go up on different levels, with different scenarios. First level would
    be easy. You deliver flowers to people in sleepy Winnionia, Idaho, where
    life is easy and everyone is nice. You go up through New York city,
    downtown LA, Crack neighborhoods in DC, conquering all the unhappy people
    with gifts of flowers and love. The last level is in the Serbia/Yugoslovokian
    border, where you must melt the hearts of grizzled rebel leaders with
    a slavo of "Have a nice day!" (In Serbianish, of course) and smiles.

    The game ends when the whole world is singing in harmony and there's
    sunshine and happiness everywhere, and all the leaders of the world
    hold a big barbecue where *everyone* is invited in your honor.


    IDEA 2#

    Maybe peace and happiness isn't what people want, so might as well
    cut the crap and give 'em what they want. You are Captain H.T. Bludd,
    veteran from the Star Troopers. Your mission is to crush the enemy, the
    Orinians, with the latest Star Trooper battlecruiser. Your battlecruiser
    is big and massive, with unlimited shields, endless supply of enemy seeking
    fusion missles, two billion anti-matter bombs, fifty seven hull mounted
    laser cannons, special "energy wave" disruptors, orbiting fire drone
    assistants, computer-controlled target aquisition, three hundred "smart
    bombs", cobalt space mines, super-warp light speed, auto-repair, and
    everything goes off at once when you push the fire button. And that's
    just to start out, and you get more weapons as the mission progresses.
    The Orinians, on the other hand, are centuries behind weapons technology
    compared to the Star Troopers. The best defense the Orinians are able to
    come up with are a thin spread of slow-moving chemically powered single
    man space capsules, with only a weak laser for offensive capabilities
    and don't even have any shields. Blowing up the Orinians' home planet
    is a piece of cake, since your ship is automatically navigated, and
    all you have to do is hold down the fire button. It'll sell like
    hotcakes, I assure you.

    Derrick

    ============================================================================

    "Can God make a penis so big that even he can't masturbate it?"
    [Jim Bakker]

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    From: jalb@geocub.geocub.fr (Jean-Alain Le Borgne)
    Subject: Advance Registration

    Hi, here is the Pope of Spametics speaking. This is *not*
    advertising, this is your first chance to join the

    < First And Last Multiversal Church Of Spam >
    [ A Schismatic Division Of The Church Of The Subgenius ]
    { And Of The First Church Of Appliantology }

    All you have to do is send me back the following Advance Registration
    Form, and the Day you perform your Spametics Deed and show the Pope
    Tangible Proof of it, you will in Return receive your very own
    Officially Certified, Sacred Title from the Church.

    1. Administriva

    Last name: .....................
    First name: .....................
    Birthdate: .....................

    2. Title (check one):
    _ _ _
    |_| Popess |_| Cardinal |_| Rabbi
    |_| Buddha |_| Messiah |_| Prophet
    |_| Archbishop |_| Bishop |_| Priest
    |_| Binge Master |_| Holy Ignoramus |_| Sacred Bum
    |_| Other: ............

    3. Totem (check one):
    _ _ _
    |_| Bill the Cat |_| Dr Gonzo |_| Zippy the Pinhead
    |_| Other: ............

    Thank You.
    J.-A. L. B.





    [There's another neat-o graphic
    here, but you're just TSOL.




    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    OFFICE ART Page #1


    [But, that's graphic too. Tough Luck.]


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    PHENOMICON 1992 announcement:

    November 13-15
    Castlegate Hotel and Conference Center
    Atlanta, GA

    Guests include:
    William Gibson
    Bruce Sterling
    Johnathan Vankin
    Adam Parfey
    Rev. Ivan Stang
    Kerry Thornley

    Rates: $20 August 1 until October 1, 1992
    $25 at the door

    Make checks payable to PhenomiCon

    Mail to: P.O. Box 12141
    Atlanta, GA 30355-2141

    SASE appreciated

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ways to be Offensive at a Funeral

    1. Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make
    love with you.
    2. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find
    your contact lens.
    3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
    4. Tell the widow that you're the deceasd's gay lover.
    5. Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
    6. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
    7. Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're
    not in it.
    8. Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
    9. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
    10. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can
    sneak him into the coffin.
    11. Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
    12. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
    13. Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased.
    14. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will
    can be read before the funeral is over.
    15. Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor
    who can't afford firewood.
    16. Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
    17. Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
    18. Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you.
    19. Take up a collection to pay off the deceased' gambling debts.
    20. Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on.
    21. Put crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss.
    22. Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
    23. If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose.
    24. When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's
    mouth.
    25. Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream
    "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint.
    26. At the cemetary take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
    27. Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin.
    28. Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried.
    29. Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for
    back-taxes.
    30. Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face
    while praising the deceased.


    [Gee, you're really missing out
    on some earthshattering graphics]


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Truth of it is that Love shits in
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ your mouth. And the taste of Love's
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ shit is an acquired taste of both
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ fools and geniuses alike. It is
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ necessary for survival. Keats was
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ wrong. Beauty is not Truth. And Truth
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ has nothing to do with Beauty. Maybe
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ they had an affair in the late 18th
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ century, but then Beauty dumped Truth,
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ and Love shit in Truth's mouth and the
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ rest has been sour milk ever since.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ This is the reason that all lovers are
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ insane. Every last one of them. They
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@ have gone crazy from the taste of
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ Love's shit. We are all but Turds
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ in an Ocean of Love.
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ a mr HEINOUS/RICHH joint
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ A Snake!
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ His Rightful Assholiness
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ $20
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@--WOOF! D R O N F The pipe is
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ R N alive!
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ O O
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ N R
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ F N O R D
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Pen up your Nose! No One is Safe!
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Send all negotiable securities to:
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PO Box 30904
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Raleigh, NC 27622
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


    [Captured Conspiracy Propoganda here]


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------



    Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear
    Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in
    PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 782-3095 $ 28 countries!"
    Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Ty Holder@RICKSBBS to All on Wednesday, February 18, 2026 06:25:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #10, SAVE Ren & Stimpy !!! $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    NEWS since the last time:

    *** FREE NEWSLETTER ***

    Dead Milkmen
    PO Box 58152
    Philadelphia, PA 19102-8152

    Look for Cherry Jubilee #1 on the comic shelves! Celebrating 10 years
    of everyone's favorite slut, Cherry Poptart.

    Video Xcitement magazine - listings of the best amateur home videos.
    Now that everyone has a camcorder, this scene is getting hot!

    Upcoming convention listings: see expanded section inside!

    DOBBS SIGHTINGS:

    Subgenius Influnce noted in Tiny Toon Adventures
    "BoB" Owns Speilberg, discovered by Jon Luckey (luckey@rtfm.mlb.fl.us)

    Its obvious that "BoB: Dobbs has either bought or infiltrated Amblin.

    If you saw the cartoon with Plucky Duck as a baby, riding up and down the
    elevator, one time when the elevator doors open you see the words XXIST is
    the background.

    Obviously "BoB" is using subliminals to desensitize the Pinks so their
    trauma isn't too bad come X-day, when the Xists come to take us away in
    their nun-snake domintrix piloted pleasure saucers.

    ----------------
    Aaron "Moses" Moore (jajmoore@lambert.uwaterloo.ca) found:

    GAMES magazine, 2nd ed., Vol. 16 No. 5 or Issue 111, October 92 is written
    on the cover but only I know why and it's on newsstands now (buy now with
    this special 1-800 offer!). Page 48. That's right, page 48.

    ...."telephone impersonation"...hmm... [Dobbs spotted on side of a
    van in D.C. also.....]

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------


    IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV Activities in September and October

    From: idealord@dorsai.com (Jeff Harrington)
    Organization: The Dorsai Diplomatic Mission, +1.212.431-1944

    Here are some of the recent broadcasts IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV has
    disrupted:

    1. Senate nomination hearings of Robert Gates for Director of Central
    Intelligence.

    2. Senate nomination hearings of Judge Clarence Thomas for Supreme
    Court Associate Justice (Judge Thomas' testimony).

    3. World News Tonight (ABC Evening News) with Peter Jennings, every
    Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday night.

    4. CBS Evening News with Dan Rather, every Thursday night.

    Also, additional testing was performed with home video equipment in
    September. This time, I did not use any ambient light source. The
    camera and mirror were placed in a sealed and completely dark closet.
    The same effects were produced as in the previous tests, i.e., spots
    of light were seen fluctuating near the center and bottom of the camera
    lens. Please leave me mail if you would like the previous postings
    describing the other two experiments.

    I contend that my Thursday night illuminative disruption of CBS
    Evening News is itself a legitimate scientific test of a repeatable
    and verifiable psychic phenomenon.

    IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV continues its previously scheduled illumination
    of broadcasting television cameras as follows:

    Thursdays - CBS Evening News
    Monday - Wednesday + Friday - ABC Evening News

    IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV is the process whereby I "will" a bright spot of
    light in the broadcasting television camera by meditating on the ongoing broadcast. Only the person on camera sees the light. The other viewers
    of the show will notice that in a "zapped" broadcast the newscasters will
    be visibly disturbed, blink more often, and often lose their ability to
    read from a cue card.

    The ongoing Thursday "zap" of CBS Evening News is for the purpose of demonstrating the difference between "zapped" and "non-zapped" broadcasts.

    As I have stated in my previous posts - IdEAL ORDER Psychic TV intends to disrupt the media/state and spread beautiful, chaotic consciousness globally. This process has been kept secret by an ongoing cult of secrecy which includes prominent members of the "skeptical" community.

    (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)
    (*) IdEAL ORDER (*) Zappin' CBS Evening News (*)
    (*) Psychic TV (*) Since 1983! (*)
    (*) idealord@dorsai.com (*) Now Thursdays Only (*)
    (*) Meditate Today! (*) For Greater Verifiability (*)
    (*) NO MORE WARS! (*) Count The Blinks! (*) (*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)*(*)

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------


    ************* E M E R G E N C Y B U L L E T I N *********************


    from DAILY VARIETY, Wednesday, September 23, 1992

    _NICK NIXES KRICFALUSI_

    The Nickelodeon children's cable network has taken "The Ren & Stimpy Show"
    away from its creator/producer/director John Kricfalusi, reportedly for exceeding budgets, not meeting deadlines and producing shows the network
    found too offensive for airing.

    Sources inside Spumco ... said Nick had fired the estimated 20 to 35
    Spumco staffers Monday as part of its break with Kricfalusi.

    Staffers were given two weeks' notice, but source said Nick has contacted
    a couple of Spumco animators about resuming production on the series --
    without Kricfalusi.

    [bits omitted]

    Kricfalusi did not return phone calls. A Nick spokesperson gave no
    details of the break-up, but confirmed the cable network was "in
    discussions with John K. and Spumco to reorganize production
    responsibilities for the ... show."

    When Kricfalusi struck his deal with Nick, he sold all rights to the show
    to the cabler, so the network is free to produce the show without him.

    But because the cartoon reflects Kricfalusi's unique vision, some question whether Nick can carry it off without him.

    "It's like someone saying we like this 'Little Tramp' character, but let's
    get rid of this Chaplin guy," said David Silverman, an animation director
    at rival animator Film Roman.

    Spumco layout artist Tuck Tucker said there is solidarity within the organization behind Kricfalusi. He doubts any Spumco staffers will jump
    ship to work for Nick without Kricfalusi. "No one wants to do the show
    without him," said Tucker.

    [These excerpts posted without permission. So sue me.]

    THOSE FILTHY WORMS! THOSE BLOATED SACKS! I WEEL KEEL THEMMMMMM!!!!!

    Seriously guys, this really sucks.

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes folks, it is true. John K. and staff have been axed from Ren and Stimpy, in favor of commercialism and corporate greed. Here is the article from the 9/24/92 USA Today. I encourage EVERYONE on this group to not only send a
    nasty letter to Nick, but to have all your friends who love R & S do the same. I know I will.

    MTV Networks
    Route 10
    Universal City Plaza, 30th Floor
    Universal City, CA 91608

    Phone: (818) 505-7800
    When I called I was forwarded to a voicemailbox of one Linda Alexander.
    She's probably in public relations or something similar.


    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    ==========================================================================
    'Ren & Stimpy' run into trouble at Nick ==========================================================================
    By Donna Gable
    USA TODAY

    The future of Nickolodeon's cult hit The Ren & Stimpy Show is in
    doubt after reports that creater John Kricfalusi was ousted for failing to produce new episodes in time.
    The retro '50s grossout animated series was the centerpiece of Nick's
    new Saturday night of original programming, launched last month.
    The cable network planned to air 13 original episodes but like
    scrawny Ren's asthma, repeats of last year's six original episodes became chronic.
    Nickolodeon isn't talking. Nor is Spumco animation studios, where
    there's little "Happy, happy, joy, joy" -- to quote Stimpy's favorite tune.
    Inquiries were met with a terse "no comment."
    Daily Variety says 25-35 Spumco employees were axed as a result of the breach.
    In addition, Nickolodeon, which owns the rights to Ren & Stimpy,
    reportedly rejected at least two episodes [the eeediots, oh, sorry] -- with
    a new character named George Liquor -- because they were inappropriate and offensive.
    Kricfalusi (say: Kris-fa-loo-see) was unavailable for comment but Nickolodeon's Bronwyn McElroy says Nick, "is currently in discussion with
    John and Spumco to re-organize production duties."
    Ren & Stimpy fan Jim Wilson, 48, of New York, says: "What do they
    want from the guy? You can't expect him to crank out all the pictures, the stories and supply the voice of Ren as well."
    Add catoonist Gary Hallgren, "If they fire that creative team, the
    feature will go down the toilet."
    In August, Kricfalusi, who also supplies Ren's raspy voice, hinted
    he may have taken on too much by agreeing to provide 13 episodes on the net- work's timetable.
    About the show's initial and much-repeated run of six episodes, he
    said, "I thought we could do more. I was wrong. It was REALLY hard doing those six."
    "The nature of our show is that it's custom-made. Very few people
    work on the show. It's not a big factory studio like Hanna-Barbera. We're trying to do them as fast as we can."
    But, he noted, "I love doing them. I could make a hundred of them
    .... if it weren't so hard."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------
    I called MTV Networks last night to ask specifically *who* complaints
    should be addressed to regarding the firing of John Kricfaluci and
    was directed to Nickelodeon Headquarters, Press Department.

    Nickelodeon Headquarters
    1515 Broadway
    New York, NY 10036
    (212)258-7500
    (212)258-7575 FAX

    Slightly radical, you say, well maybe. I'm tired of sitting back and
    letting these corporate f**ks affect my life.

    Happy, happy, mail, mail.


    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    ********************** PINKS of the MONTH ********************************

    The following is copied from "The End of the World and 'Prophecies' About It"
    by Rev. Minagawa in the August 20 edition of _Intercessors for Japan_.

    RAPTURE FEVER - The World Ends on October 28!!!

    Today, this is happening in Korea. According to 1 Thess. 4:16-17 at the
    time of the second coming, the dead in Christ will rise, then the saints
    who are living at that time will also be caught up to meet the Lord in the
    air. Thus, they shall always be with the Lord.

    Right now, in Korea, many people are saying that this will happen
    October 28, 1992 precisely at midnight. This has become quite a feverish movement. According to the _Yomiuri News_ some 250 churches and groups nationwide are teaching this. People are selling their homes and giving fortunes to the churches, quitting their jobs, leaving their homes.
    Families are suffering upheaval and divorce. Teens are fleeing their homes
    and schools and joining groups in churches by the hundreds. Their families meanwhile are forming groups and strategies in an effort to get them to
    come back.

    _The Hot Waves of 1992_, a book by Rev. Lee Jang Iim, and a pamphlet "The
    1992 Return of the Lord in the Air" (Taberah World Mission) were sent to my desk.

    It seems that the roots of these predictions are the same as those of the infamous Nostradamus, namely human history ending after 6000 years followed
    by the millenial kingdom. They have made some of the following predictions.

    ** After the Barcelona Olympics and as a prelude to the rapture, these disasters will occur. Chicago, San Francisco and Japan will suffer
    gigantic earthquakes. At this time, the doors to North Korea will be
    opened and many missionaries from South Korea will enter. After August,
    the doors will suddenly be shut. They will not be able to return home and
    will suffer persecution and martyrdom there.

    ** October 28, 1992 midnight, will be the rapture in the air. Only those
    who believe this date will be in fact raptured.

    ** After this will come the 7 years of great tribulation. The
    Anti-Christ will rule the world. All people will get a bar code 666 on
    their forehead or arm. Those living without it will not be able to buy and sell to get the necessities for living. Persecution on a national level
    and martyrdom will occur.
    In the first 3 1/2 years, World War III will occur. At the end of the
    last 3 1/2 years will be the Battle of Armageddon. The Lord will return to defeat Anti-Christ and his hosts and Satan will be bound in hell for 1000 years.

    ** The Millenial Kingdom will begin in the year 2000.

    Pastors are introducing the teachings and visions of these "prophets" to
    their people. They strongly exhort them like this. "The time is so close, that it is O.K. to abandon normal gospel and only preach and warn about the Oct. 28 rapture. Your grapevine in heaven has one fruit (grape) because of your belief in the normal gospel. Preaching this will make it into
    clusters. The diamonds in your house in heaven will increase. If you
    don't believe this rapture, you will be left behind with the winepress of persecution and martyrdom awaiting you. All who cannot stand for the Lord
    will be cursed with Satan and thrown into hell."

    It is this "gospel" of promise, curse, and fear that is feeding the
    "Rapture Fever" in Korea.

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    I just heard, on the TV, Dan Quayle giving
    a speech. The following is an excerpt
    from this speech, as it was given in an
    alternate dimension:

    [All this is mind- "My message will be democracy, democracy,
    blowing graphics. and more democracy, because with democracy
    Too bad you're stuck comes freedom, and with freedom comes
    with the ASCII hope, Bob Hope, yes "Bob" IS our HOPE!
    version, eh?] Yes, you elected a secret policeman so the
    government could know what you think, but
    you haven't yet PAID to know what you
    REALLY THINK!"

    At this point, Men dressed all In Black
    haul him away, spouting smoke from a
    suddenly-appearing pipe.


    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    [Office Art page - not available in ASCII....too bad]

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    U P C O M I N G C O N V E N T I O N S

    October 2-4, 1992 (Iowa)

    ICON 17(01-D). Best Western Westfield Inn, 1895 27th Ave., Coralville,
    IA 52241. GoH: Mercedes Lackey; FGoH: Rex Bryant; TMs: Mickey Zucker
    Reichert, Rusty Hevelin; Guests: Joe Haldeman, Gay Haldeman, Larry
    Dixon, William A. "Biljon" Johnson, Roger E. Moore, Glen Cook, Erin
    McKee, more. Info: Icon 17, PO Box 525, Iowa City, IA 52244;
    (319)377-5929.

    October 2-4, 1992 (New York)

    CONTRADICTION 12. Radisson Hotel, Niagara Falls, NY; rms $78 sngl/dbl;
    (716)285-3361. GoH: Harry Turtledove; SGoH: C.J. Cherryh; Guests: Nancy
    Kress, Josepha Sherman, S.M. Stirling, more. Memb: $22. Info:
    Contradiction 12, Box 2043, Newmarket Stn., Niagara Falls NY 14301.

    October 2-4, 1992 (Ohio)

    CONTEXT 5. Hilton Inn North, 7007 N High St., Worthington (near
    Columbus) OH 43085; rms $63; (614)436-0700. GoH: George Alec Effinger;
    EGoH: Martin H. Greenberg; SGoH: Joan Slonczewski; FGoH: Debbie
    Hoginson; Guests: Robert & Juanita Coulson, Dennis McKiernan, more.
    Panels, Short Story contest, Children's Programming, Art Show/Auction,
    Masquerade, more. Memb: $35 (checks payable to Fanaco, Inc.). Info:
    Context 5, Box 2954, Columbus OH 43216; (614)889-0436.

    October 2-4, 1992 (Virginia)

    ROVACON 17. CANCELLED.

    October 2-4, 1992 (Canada, British Columbia)

    I-CON 3. CANCELLED. Info: I-Con 3, P.O. Box 30004, 104 - 3995 Quadra
    Street, Victoria, BC V8X 5E1 Canada.

    October 2-4, 1992 (England)

    FANTASYCON XVII. Midland Hotel, New Street, Birmingham. GoH: Lisa
    Tuttle. Memb: TBA. Info: 15 Stanley Rd., Morden, Surrey, SM4 5DE.

    October 2-4, 1992 (England)

    CONTANIM'eT. New Cobden Hotel, Hagley Rd., Birmingham. Anime con.
    Memb: L16; L5 supporting. Info: Contaminet 92, c/o Denzil Brown, 20
    Field Ridge, Shaw, Newbury, Berkshire, UK.

    October 8-11, 1992 (Canada, Ontario)

    BOUCHERCON XXIII. Royal York Hotel, Toronto ON Canada; rms C$119
    sngl/dbl. GoH: Margaret Millar; Lifetime Achievement: Charlotte
    MacLeod; TM: Otto Penzler. Convention with emphasis on Mystery. Memb:
    US$60/C$70/L30. Info: Bouchercon XXIII, Box 23, Station 'S', Toronto ON
    M5M 4L6, Canada.

    October 9-11, 1992 (Florida)

    NECRONOMICON '92. Airport Holiday Inn, 4500 W. Cypress, Tampa FL; rms
    $55; (813)879-4800. GoHs: James P. Hogan, Ray Aldridge, Glen Cook.
    Memb: $20. Info: Necronomicon '92, Box 2076, Riverview FL 33569;
    (813)677-6347.

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    U P C O M I N G C O N V E N T I O N S

    October 9-11, 1992 (Illinois)

    SPYCON 8. Quality Hotel, 920 E. Northwest Highway, Palatine, Illinois
    60067; rms $47; (708)359-6900. SGoH: Sam Rolfe. Memb: $25; $10
    supporting. Info: SPYCON, P.O. Box 8403, Rolling Meadows, IL 60008.

    October 9-11, 1992 (Maryland)

    OKTOBERTREK '92. Marriott's Hunt Valley Inn, Hunt Valley, MD. Guests:
    Brent Spiner, DeForest Kelley. Memb: $45. Info: OktoberTrek Associates,
    Inc., 6656 Aspern Drive, Elkridge, MD 21227; (410)379-6930.

    October 9-11, 1992 (Minnesota)

    MINNCON 22. Sunwood Inn, St. Paul MN. GoH: Robert Bloch. (Fritz
    Leiber was scheduled to have been another GoH before his death.) Memb:
    $20 in advance, $30 at door. Info: Minncon 22, c/o John Brower, 3136
    Park Ave., Minneapolis MN 55407; (612)825-8256.

    October 9-11, 1992 (Texas)

    ARMADILLOCON 14. Wyndham Austin at Southpark Hotel, Austin TX; rms $55
    sngl, $65 dbl, $75 trpl/quad; 1-800-433-2241. GoH: Neal Barrett, Jr.;
    AGoH: Darrell K. Sweet; FGoH: Al Jackson; EGOH: Gardner Dozois; TM: Kim
    Stanley Robinson. Memb: $25 until 9/30/92. Info: ArmadilloCon 14, Box
    9612, Austin TX 78766-9612; (512)453-2199 (before 10pm Central Time).

    October 16-18, 1992 (Minnesota)

    VALLEYCON XVII. Regency Inn, Moorhead, MN. GoH: TBA; AGoH: Robert
    Daniels. Info: ValleyCon, PO Box 7202, Fargo, ND 58108;
    jenkins@mhd1.moorhead.msus.edu.

    October 16-18, 1992 (Ireland)

    OCTOCON [IRE] 3. Royal Marine Hotel, Dun Laoighre (near Dublin),
    Ireland. GoH: Orson Scott Card; Guests: Diane Duane, Katherine Kurtz,
    Anne McCaffrey, Scott McMillan, Peter Morwood, James White.. Irish
    National Convention. Memb: L13; L6 supporting. Info: Octocon 3, c/o
    Helen Ryder, 30 Beverley Downs, Knocklyon Rd., Templeogue, Dublin,
    Ireland; phone: (353)1 934712.

    October 17-18, 1992 (Canada, Quebec)

    CON-CEPT '92. Ramada Renaissance Du Parc, Montreal, Quebec, Canada; rms
    C$95. GoHs: Roger Zelazny, Gregory Benford; TM: Larry Stewart. Memb:
    C$23. Info: Con-Cept, Box 405, Station H, Montreal, Quebec H3G2L1,
    Canada.

    October 23-24, 1992 (Colorado)

    MILEHICON 24. Sheraton, Lakewood CO. GoHs: Steven Brust, Emma Bull,
    Will Shetterly, Pamela Dean, Kara Dalkey. Memb: $21 until 9/30/92, $24
    after. Info: MileHiCon 24, Box 27074, Lakewood CO 80227l (303)426-0806.

    October 23-24, 1992 (Ohio)

    DITTO V/OCTOCON 29. Harley Hotel, Cincinnati OH; rms $59.90. Sf
    Convention with emphasis on fanzines. Memb: $20. Info: c/o Roger&Pat
    Sims, 34 Creekwood Square, Glendale OH 45246; (513)771-7587.

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------

    October 23-25, 1992 (Ohio)

    OHIO VALLEY FILK FEST VIII. Hilton Inn North, 7007 N. High St.,
    Worthington OH 43085; rms $60; (614)436-0700. GoH: Kathy Mar; TM: Larry
    Warner; Listener of Honor: Marie Schneider. For all Fen with a Song in
    their Heart. Memb: $20 (children $15) Info: OVFF, PO Box 211101,
    Columbus OH 43221; (614)451-3154.

    October 23-25, 1992 (Texas)

    CHILI CON CARNAGE. Dallas Parkway Hilton Hotel, 4801 LBJ Freeway,
    Dallas, TX 75244; rms $59 sngl/dbl, $64 tpl/quad; 1-800-356-3924. GoH:
    C. Dean Anderson; AGoH: Jean Elizabeth Martin; Filk GoH: Cat Kingsgrave.
    Horror, Dark Fantasy, Suspense and SF convention including Art show,
    Dealer's room, gaming, horror tales by candlelight, videos, movies,
    animation, filking, panels, masquerade, Saturday dance, more. Memb: $15
    until 10/22/92, $20 after. Info: Fantom Productions, Attn: John
    Manning, 4828 Alcott #102, Dallas, TX 75204; (214)826-7756.

    October 29 - November 1, 1992 (Georgia)

    1992 WORLD FANTASY CONVENTION. Callaway Gardens Resort at Pine
    Mountain, GA; $105 sngl/dbl. Guests: Michael Bishop, John Farris,
    Martin H. Greenberg, Anne McCaffrey, Martin Gould. Memb: $100 in
    advance; $50 supporting. Info: World Fantasy Convention '92, Box 148,
    Clarkston GA 30021; (813)441-1360 or (404)921-7148.

    October 30 - November 1, 1992 (Missouri)

    CONTRACEPTION 4. Howard Johnson's, 4200 S. Noland Rd., Independence, MO
    64055; (816)373-8856. GoH: Rick Erdiales; AGoH: Cat Conrad; FGoH: Mike
    McCain. Adults-only relaxacon - must be over 21 to attend. Memb: $15
    until 10/1/92, $17 after. Info: Contraception 4, Box 1046, Lee's Summit
    MO 64063; (816)524-4852 (6pm-10pm).

    October 30 - November 1, 1992 (Washington)

    INCON '92. Cavanaugh's On Fourth, Spokane WA. GoH: Steve Perry; AGoH:
    Crystal Marvig; FGoH: Russel Campbell; TM: Jim Glass; Memb: $20 until
    10/25/92, $25 after. Info: InCon '92, P.O. Box 1026, Spokane, WA
    99201-1026.

    October 30 - November 1, 1992 (Washington)

    DREAMCON 7. Quality Inn Hotel & Conference Center, Everett, Wa. GoH:
    David Brin. Memb: $25 until 9/30/92. Info: Dreamcon 7, c/o 10121
    Evergreen Way, Suite 103, Everett, WA 98204-3877; (206)283-8090.

    October 30 - November 1, 1992 (Canada, Ontario)

    MAPLECON 13. Chimo Inn, Gloucester (suburb of Ottawa), Ontario, Canada.
    AGoH: Gabriel Morrissette; FGoH: Keith Braithwaite; MCs: Lloyd & Yvonne
    Penney; Other Guests: Hal Clement, Martin Springett, Michael Lennick,
    Ronn Sutton. Comics, masquerade, art show, Star Trek, model show &
    contest, more. Memb: C$25 (seniors and children under 12 C$12.50) until
    9/30/92, C$30 (seniors and children C$15) after; group/"family" and
    daily rates also available. Info: MapleCon 13, P.O. Box 20234, 390
    Rideau St. E., Ottawa, Ontario, Canada K1N 9P4.

    October 30 - November 1, 1992 (Germany)

    CAPITALCON 1992. Zeiss Grossplanetarium/Prenzlauer Berg Hotel, Berlin,
    Germany. GoHs: Norman Spinrad, N. Lee Wood. Memb: 25DM until 10/1/92,
    30DM after. Info: Capitalcon 1992, c/o Wolfgang Both, Vorstadtweg 20,
    Berlin, 0-1141, Germany.

    ----Page-Break-----------Page-Break-----------Page-Break------------------
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    Holy Temple of
    Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SAVE
    Raleigh, NC 27622

    REN and Stimpy from [Graphic of the
    evil anti-R&S
    network exec
    [Graphics] the EVIL pink CONSPIRACY demon]
    DUPES!




    Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear
    Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in
    PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 782-3095 $ 28 countries!"
    Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"


    Ty Holder
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Ty Holder@RICKSBBS to All on Wednesday, February 18, 2026 06:26:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #11, Throw Away Your Vote for "Bob" $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    YEEEEEHAAAAAAAA

    November 3rd is SMASH THE CONSPIRACY DAY!!

    Send a message to George Nyarlathotep Bush and the rest of the snarling
    Pink masses! Tear up a picture of the Pope AND Bush AND Quayle AND Helms
    AND Robertson AND "Bob" ! Nuke a Bush/Quayle poster for FREEDOM!!

    Dobbs-Approved write-in candidates for the top 2 spots include:

    1) Ren Hoek and Stimpy 5) Rush Limbaugh and Torquemada
    2) Ron and Russell Post 6) George Liquor and Mr. Horse
    3) John K. and Mojo Nixon 7) The entire Spumco staff
    4) Charles Manson and Pat Buchannan (they need a job, you know)

    NEWS:

    New comix: Scan #1 by Matt Howarth, featuring the Mad Empress
    New Savage Henry, and *2* new Post Brothers this month!

    Also check out Killer Cults #1


    [Exclusive picture of Dobbs at the 1992 Crusade for Cash tour]

    [Also contains subneutrovibraton sonic phrases from the earthshattering
    appearance of Rev. Fukk on Rob & Bill's Talk Show, 10/17/92 WRDC]
    "Throw Away Your Vote For "Bob""

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ************************
    ** SLACK OF THE MONTH **
    ************************ Jerry Pat George

    This month's award goes Falwell Buchanan Bush
    to the unidentified man
    who exposed himself to
    the "pro-life" booth at
    the NCSU State Fair
    last week. Yeah, he got
    arrested, but what a
    worthy cause!!

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ D O N ' T L E T $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ T H E M G E T

    MORE COMICS---- A W A Y W I T H I T !

    Ren & Stimpy #1 by
    Marvel comics is
    finally in!! Grab yours
    now, this one may be
    sold out already!
    Comes with scratch-and- [Disgusting picture with Dan Quayle,
    sniff air fouler shaped Pat Robertson, and Jesse Helms together]
    like Ren. Stories are
    much more gross than TV
    censors will allow.
    Don't open the bag, or
    it will be WORTHLESS!!!


    Killer Cults #1
    Comic Zone Productions
    Exploring the lurid
    world of cults gone
    bad, this one starts
    up with the entire
    story of Jim Jones and
    the Jonestown massacre.

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    Review: George Bush at
    NC Fairgrounds, 10/21/92

    After donning the official fake Press Pass and worming my way onto the press platform, I had the perfect view of a tired and incoherent G. Bush. At enormous taxpayer expense, he arrived aboard "The Spirit of America" train (what the hell was that "Operation Lifesaver" banner on the locomotive?). The only part of his 14-minute speech that made any sense at all was the call for a line- item veto. Other than that, it was the same old Reagan cheerleading
    BEST BANNERS: Clinton supporters who infiltrated the event had signs:
    "Re-elect Bush? Wouldn't Be Prudent." and "George Bush- The Farewell Tour". BEST JOKE: goes to Fuhrer Bush himself: "Clinton wants to turn the White House into the Waffle House." MOST INTERESTING COMMENTARY: the continuous dialog, Rocky Horror style, of the reporters on the platform. The press REALLY does HATE Bush. "Annoy the Media, Re-Elect Bush" stickers don't help.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A midterm campaign examination on everything we have learned so far:

    1. Which promise on taxes by George Bush do you find more persuasive?
    a. His 1988 pledge: "Read my lips. No new taxes."
    b. His new, improved 1992 pledge: "I am not going to do it again.
    Ever, ever."

    2. Which action by a college student do you consider more important in
    determining your vote in 1992?
    a. What Bill CLinton did to avoid getting drafted to fight in a war
    he opposed.
    b. What Dan Quayle did to avoid getting drafted to fight in a war he
    supported.

    3. In the Great Owl Debate of "jobs vs. environment" posed by the Bush
    campaign, which would be more upset to wake up tomorrow morning and
    find was gone?
    a. Your job.
    b. Your planet

    4. Which of the following would you be willing to bet your next paycheck
    that the Vice President of the United States could spell correctly?
    a. Antidisestablishmentarianism
    b. Potato
    c. Cat

    5. What is your favorite family value?
    a. The right to choose whether to have a family.
    b. The right to watch "Murphy Brown."
    c. The Grand Slam Special at Denny's.

    6. Which candidate has the most appeal among young voters?
    a. Clinton, because he plays that hip musical instrument, the
    saxaphone.
    b. George Bush, because he talks in rap.
    c. Al Gore, because he looks like Superman.
    d. Dan Quayle, because he looks like Jimmy Olsen.
    e. Ross Perot, because he's an elf.

    7. Bush says the election is about trust. Which of the following would
    you trust Bush to do if elected to a second term?
    a. Never to raise taxes again. Ever, ever.
    b. To select only the best-qualified Americans for important jobs
    such as the vice presidency and the US Supreme Court.
    c. Not to throw up on heads of state while visiting other nations.

    8. During the sale of US missiles to Iran, the late Ronald Reagan was
    napping through the presidency and Vice President Bush was "out of the
    loop." Write your best guess as to who was running the United States.


    9. What is your primary concern about the US economy?
    a. How to spend the big bonanza if Bush finally succeeds in cutting
    capital gains taxes.
    b. Whether US jobs are on a fast track or a slow track to Mexico.
    c. That there be one again.

    10. What about George Bush reminds you most of Harry Truman?
    a. Nobody thinks he's going to win.
    b. He likes to fish and recently rode on a train.
    c. He's a dead man.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    REN AND STIMPY UPDATE

    From: Jenny.Lerew%bbs@quake.sylmar.ca.us (Jenny Lerew)

    OK, first let me say that I'm a professional in the animation business who's been following the posts here for some time with great interest. My reason for this is that I know John K. and his core group of artists, personally as well as professionally. After the events of a few weeks ago, John and I were discussing the situation, and I told him about the reaction
    of the guys on Usenet. He was impressed by the action a lot of you said you were taking on behalf of his show. I also told him how, with each new development, rumors were flying re: the reasons for Nickelodeon's yanking
    R&S, the future of the series, and whether or not he was going to have any involvement in it creatively.
    He asked me if I'd post something to clear up a few things. I'm going
    to try to be as succinct as possible. First:

    Nickelodeon's claims of *having* to take the show away because of missed deadlines and going over budget are false. John had gotten the series ON TIME. Nick has just put the show behind by their actions. As has been mentioned before, they didn't have to show reruns so early this season--they did it because they suddenly decided not to air the new episodes they had. Furthermore, these episodes WERE EXACTLY THE SAME, SHOT FOR SHOT, AS THE STORYBOARDS THEY'D APPROVED MONTHS AGO, so Spumco WAS NOT pulling a fast one
    on Nick, as some have said. I know, since I saw the boards, *and* Nick's
    notes on those boards, and the finished show. So why they got cold feet--
    who knows?

    As for the budget: When Nick took the show from John/Spumco, all they
    got was Bob Camp and some drawings. No equipment, no space, and NO staff...
    as I write this Nick has opened a new, expensive office for Bob Camp, they still need to buy everything to go in it, plus they have a standing offer to Spumco's artists to "go over" and work there for a big increase in salary. Sound like they're worried about the budget to you? Incidentally, not one
    of the important artists that drew/wrote Ren & Stimpy have taken them up on that offer. These are people who work in a currently tight market, who have house payments and (some of them) kids to feed. No sir, they won't do it.

    Some of the best work John & Co. has ever done might never be seen, as Nick is NOW slicing and dicing away at the remaining shows, in their various stages of completion. John is not going to allow his name to go on these shows, so be warned. When I heard that John had been made a "consultant" on R&S, I asked him what that meant. What it means, folks, is NOTHING. It's
    PR on Nickelodeon's part, to calm down all the angry fans they've been
    hearing from. Unless John has the creative control that got the series conceived in the first place, he won't involve himself. Anything less would amount to WAY too much less.

    The question is: do you want to see the shows listed in FILM THREAT the
    way they were intended to be seen, done by an artist who has been killing himself to perfect them? Or will you settle for a vastly inferior version,
    as Nickelodeon thinks, plans and hopes smugly that you will?

    Bob Camp, to put it mildly, is out of his depth as the "head" of production
    of Ren & Stimpy. If he *does* somehow manage to eke out the shows, the
    shows will suffer for it. It's entirely possible that when Nick sees
    disaster looming, they'll realize their mistake and go back to the source
    for help.

    If any of you think *that* would be a nice turn of events-- if you know that the reason this show exists is Spumco--John and the rest of his loyal cartoonists--then let Nickolodeon know. Don't be snowed by the company
    line. Tell them you know the difference between the real thing and a corporate, plastic changeling they would put in its place, if they can get
    away with it.

    BTW, the "inside dope" about John directing a Rescue Rangers movie
    for Disney is pretty funny to John. Where do these things come from?

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Andre Nancy
    MARROU / LORD
    ------------------------
    Presidential Ticket
    ------------------------
    Libertarians '92


    [Picture of About Andre Marrou, the Libertarian Presidential Nominee
    Andre Marrou] Andre Marrou is a graduate of MIT and has worked as an
    engineering manager. Marrou was elected in 1984 to the
    Alaska State Legislature where he introduced legislation
    to limit the size of government and reduce taxes. In 1988
    Marrou was the LP vice-presidential nominee and running
    mate of Congressman Ron Paul.


    [Picture of About Nancy Lord, the Libertarian Vice-Presidential Nominee
    Nancy Lord] Nancy Lord has degrees in medicine and law and is an
    attorney specializing in medical-legal and constitutional
    issues. As a businesswoman Lord could see first-hand
    how taxation and bureaucratic regulation were stifling
    entrepreneurship; this sparked her decision to run for
    mayor of Washington, D.C. in 1990.



    Scott
    McLAUGHLIN
    NC Governor

    - Abolish the sales tax on food and medicine
    - Throw out the professional politicians in Raleigh
    - Let parents -not bureaucrats- control our schools
    - Restore constitutional liberty & responsibility to our people
    - Cut state government and income tax by 30%
    - Free enterprise will put our people back to work
    - End corruption by electing citizens, not politicians
    - It's time now for a real change in Raleigh
    For more information call (800) 292-3766

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Andre Marrou and Nancy Lord
    1992 Libertarian Presidential Ticket


    The Libertarian Party
    is the Party of the future. The LP is America's third largest and
    fastest growing party. It has elected over one hundred candidates,
    and in 1990 polled over five million votes.

    A Party of Principle
    The LP has always stood for personal freedom and self responsibility.
    No Libertarian has ever raised your taxes or increased government spending.
    In fact, Libertarians have stopped or repealed taxes, including the Alaska
    income tax.

    Libertarian Ideas are American Ideas
    The Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights are libertarian
    documents. We believe, as the Founders did, that people must be left
    free to live their own lives, must be responsible for their own actions,
    and must not harm others. The only just role for government is to defend
    use against force and fraud. The Constution and Bill of Rights limited
    government to that role, but the politicians have gone beyond those limits.

    The LP Challenges *US* to Fight Back
    A 3% tax led The Founders to rebel against England. Now our taxes are
    nearly 50%. This money is wasted. The government gives billions to
    foreign governments, millions more to farmers who grow no food, thousands
    to cover Congressional bounced checks. They've even given millions to
    both tobacco farmers *and* campaigns against smoking.

    THE LP HAS A BETTER WAY

    The Libertarian Way
    Let's stop giving billions to foreign governments, millions to farmers
    who grow no food, thousands for Congressional privilege, and millions
    more to tobacco companies. Let's make government do its real job -
    *keep our streets safe and our land defended*.

    What if your bill for government went from 50% of earnings to 10% or less?
    What if your spendable income nearly doubled? What would your life be
    like? What causes would you support? What could you do for your children?

    *Nothing is free*. The government's supposed free services cost dearly.
    You pay for waste and political favors. Get more for your money. Confine
    government to the protection of your safety, and both your safety and your
    wealth will grow. We'll have safe streets, a strong economy, and the
    money we need to give our children the education they deserve.

    That's the Libertarian Way -you choose-
    government waste and inefficiency, or safety and abundance for you
    and your family?

    To help build this responsible alternative to the old parties,
    call or write...

    The Marrou/Lord Campaign
    P.O. Box 12417
    Las Vegas, NV 89112
    (702) 434-6362

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    < Page filled with other graphics>
    [Cartoon]

    Wedding anniversary gifts...NOT!

    1st.....Naugahyde
    2nd.....Saladmaster(TM) Cookware
    3rd.....Axes
    4th.....Pillows
    5th.....Golden Hamsters
    6th....."Star Trek, The Next Generation" Trading Cards
    7th.....Spatulas
    8th.....Cellular Phones
    9th.....8-Track Cartridges
    10th....Spiders
    15th....Liver
    20th....Voodoo Dolls
    25th....Bungee Cords
    30th....Bauxite
    35th....Hydrogen
    40th....Weasels [Dobbs Picture] 45th....Polystyrene
    50th....Tar
    55th....Wicker
    60th....Crotch guards
    70th....Hearing Aids
    80th....Plutonium


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    N O V E M B E R C O N V E N T I O N S

    November 6-8, 1992 (Massachusetts)

    WISHCON 2 Sheraton at Monarch Place, Springfield, Mass. (413) 781-1010
    Guests: George Takei, Majel Barrett, Wil Wheaton, and more. Advance
    pre-registration by Oct. 15: 17.00 one day/25.00 Weekend. $20/35 at
    the door, $19 for Saturday Night Buffet Dinner. Info: K & L Productions
    500 Monroe Turnpike, Monroe, Ct. 06468 (203) 459-0413
    or E-mail: Chreotho@cup.portal.com

    November 6-8, 1992 (Alabama)

    CON*STELLATION XI/SCORPIO. Hilton, Huntsville AL; rms $49. GoHs:
    Kristine Kathryn Rusch, Dean Wesley Smith; AGoH: Stephen Hickman; FGoH:
    Mike Glicksohn; TM: Michael Flynn. Memb: $18 until 9/30/92, $22 after.
    Info: Con*Stellation XI: Scorpio, Box 4857, Huntsville AL 35815.

    November 6-8, 1992 (Florida)

    VULKON. Hilton & Towers, St. Petersburg, FL; rms $60-70; (813)894-5000.
    Guests: Leonard Nimoy, David McDonnell, Ann Crispin, Cheryl Mandus.
    Memb: $30 until 10/9/92, $40 after (children under 10 free). Info:
    Vulkon, c/o Joe Motes, 12237 Southwest 50th Street, Cooper City, FL 33330.

    November 6-8, 1992 (Illinois)

    WINDYCON XIX. Hyatt Regency Woodfield, 1800 E. Golf Road, Schaumburg,
    IL 60195; rms $77 sngl/dbl, $90 tpl/quad. GoH: Robert Shea; AGoH: Todd
    Cameron Hamilton; Living Legend GoH: Julius Schwartz; FGoH: Wolf Foss;
    TM: Rick Foss; Guests: Spider and Jeanne Robinson, John Varley, Barry
    Longyear, George Alec Effinger, more. Memb: $20 until 10/1/92, $30
    after. Info: Windycon, P.O. Box 184, Palatine, IL 60078-0184;
    (708)383-6948.

    November 6-8, 1992 (Massachusetts)

    WISHCON II. Sheraton at Monarch Place, Springfield, MA; rms $78
    sngl/dbl, $88 tpl/quad; (413)781-1010. Guests: George
    Takei, Majel Barrett, Wil Wheaton, Arne Starr, Michael Jan Freidman,
    Margaret Bonanno, Peter David, Bob Greenberger, Howard Weinstein, Joe
    Straczynski. Memb: $25 until 10/1/92, $35 after. Info: K&L
    Productions, 500 Monroe Tpke, Monroe CT 06468; (203)459-0413.

    November 6-8, 1992 (England)

    NOVACON (UK) 22. Forte Post House, Birmingham. GoH: Storm Constantine.
    Memb: L20 until 10/6/92, L25 after. Info: Novacon 22, c/o Bernie Evans,
    121 Cape Hill, Smethwick, Warley, W. Midlands, B66 4SH UK;
    (021)558-0997.

    November 13-15, 1992 (Georgia)

    PHENOMICON '92. Castlegate Hotel & Conference Center, Atlanta, GA; rms
    $55. Guests: William Gibson, Bruce Sterling, more. Emphasis on UFOs,
    conspiracies, weirdness. Memb: $20 until 10/1/92, $25 after. Info:
    Phenomicon '92, Box 12141, Atlanta GA 30355.

    November 13-15, 1992 (Pennsylvania)

    PHILCON '92. Adam's Mark Hotel, City Avenue & Monument Road,
    Philadelphia PA. GoH: Greg Bear; AGoH: Boris Vallejo; Filk GoH: Tom
    Smith; SGoHs: Pamela Sargent, Ray Harryhausen. Memb: $25 until 11/1/92,
    $30 after (children under 6 free, 6-12 $15). Info: Philcon '92, P.O.
    Box 8303, Philadelphia, PA 19101; (609)764-8294.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    N O V E M B E R C O N V E N T I O N S

    November 13-15, 1992 (Virginia)

    SCI-CON 14. Holiday Inn Executive Center, Greenwich Road, Virginia Beach
    VA; rms $58 sngl/dbl; (804)499-4400. GoH: Elizabeth Scarborough; AGoH:
    Don Maitz; SGoH: Janny Wurts, Frank & Laura Kelly Freas; FGoHs: Steve &
    Elaine Stiles; Gaming GoH: Frank Chadwick. Memb: $20 until 10/1/92, $25
    after. Info: Sci-Con 14, Box 9434, Hampton VA 23670.

    November 20-22, 1992 (Oklahoma)

    SOONERCON 8. Central Plaza Hotel, 112 South M.L. King, Oklahoma City,
    OK; rms $40 by 11/1/92; (800)233-2219. GoHs: L. Sprague de Camp,
    Catherine Cook de Camp; AGoH: Frank Kelly-Freas; TM: Mark Schulzinger;
    Filk GoH: Juanita Coulson; FGoH: Martha Beck; SGoH: Wilson "Bob" Tucker.
    Memb: $18 until 11/1/92, at least $22 after. Info: Soonercon 8, Box
    1701, Bethany OK 73008; (405)843-6427 (until 10pm).

    November 20-22, 1992 (Oregon)

    ORYCON 14. Red Lion/Columbia River, Portland OR; rms $61. GoH: Esther
    Friesner; AGoH: James Warhola; FGoH: Steve Forty; SGoH: Peter S. Beagle.
    Memb: $20 until 10/31/92, $25 after (children 5 and under free, 6-12
    half price). Info: OryCon 14, Box 5703, Portland OR 97228;
    (503)283-0802; 74007.3342@compuserv.com.

    November 27-29, 1992 (New York)

    CREATION CONVENTION Ramada Inn (formerly The Penta), New York City,
    33rd Street and Seventh Avenue. Guest: Marina Sirtis

    November 27-29, 1992 (California, Northern)

    SILICON '92. Santa Clara Westin Hotel, Santa Clara CA. GoH: Robert
    Jordan; AGoH: Richard Hescox; FGoH: Michelle Sagawa; TM: James P.
    Blaylock. Info: Silicon '92, Box 8029, San Jose CA 95155-8612;
    (408)977-0562.

    November 27-29, 1992 (California, Southern)

    LOSCON 19. Airport Marriott, Los Angeles CA. GoH: Barbara Hambly;
    EGoH: David Hartwell; FGoH: Mike Glyer. Memb: $30 until 11/1/92, $35
    after. Info: LASFS, 11513 Burbank Blvd., N. Hollywood CA 91601;
    (213)772-1511.

    November 27-29, 1992 (Maryland)

    DARKOVER GRAND COUNCIL MEETING '92. Holiday Inn, Timonium MD; rms $59.
    Emphasis on Marion Zimmer Bradley's "Darkover" books. GoH: Janet Kagan;
    AGoH: Rillan MacDhai; SGoHS: Marion Zimmer Bradley, Katherine Kurtz.
    Memb: $24 until 11/1/92, $28 after. Info: Darkover Grand Council
    Meeting, Armida Council, Box 7203, Silver Spring, MD 20907;
    (202)737-4609 (before 11pm).

    November 27-29, 1992 (Chicago)

    VISIONS '92 Ramada Hotel O'Hare. 6600 N. Mannheim Road, Rosemont, Illinois
    60018 1-708-827-5131. British SF and Fantasy media con. onfirmed Guests:
    Colin Baker, Bill Baggs, Jeremey Bentham, Nicola Bryant, Jan Chappell,
    Craig Charles, Frank Conniff, Nickolas Grace, Robert Llewellyn, John Peel.
    $45 for 3-day membership, $35 for 2-day, $25 for 1-day until 11/15/92.
    Info: Her Majesty's Entertainment, Ltd., P.O. Box 1202, Highland Park,
    Illinois 60035-1202 1-708-405-WHO1

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ "Bob" is so sweet, his grandmother
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ cavorts with floppy disks!
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ Damn! "Bob" is kinda similar to some
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ lower primates!
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ "Bob" is worth his weight in mold.
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ May Mighty Mouse cough on "Bob" rudely.
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ You know, "Bob" is Tiffany!
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ "Bob" has the ghost of Elvis for brains
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Ketchup reminds me of "Bob".
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ I heard that "Bob"'s niece does invade
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ the living dead.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ "Bob" is more enchanting than the
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ Jackson family.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@ "Bob" has a spiffy navel.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ May Jim & Tammy Bakker run off with
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ "Bob"'s newly seeded lawn.
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ "Bob" has billions and billions of
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@ hallucinations for brains.
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ May some Playboy Bunnies befriend
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ "Bob"'s beige stereo wrongly.
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ "Bob" reminds me of zygote droppings.
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@ "Bob" is not horribly as normal as a
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ thick sauce.
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ "Bob" reminds me of a million pools of
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@ blood -- five for each foot...
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@ "Bob" is not far as normal as Madonna.
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ Actually, 500 runaway space aliens
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@ remove "Bob".
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@ [ Rev. Squid, One-world Temple of ]
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ [Enlightenment and Chinese Laundry]
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Praise Tina Chopp or Die!!
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PO Box 30904
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Raleigh, NC 27622
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@



    [More cartoons and graphics not available in text version]




    Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear
    Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in
    PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 782-3095 $ 28 countries!"
    Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"


    Ty Holder
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Ty Holder@RICKSBBS to All on Wednesday, February 18, 2026 06:26:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #12: Free Money $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to: ***********************************
    * AUTHENTIC SACRED RELICS *
    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption * 22nd SubAtomic Dobbs Devival *
    PO Box 30904 * enclosed in random mailings *
    Raleigh, NC 27622 * May include: Devival fliers *
    * Cards from Overman pinata' *
    NEWS since the last time: * Dobbs-blood soaked MONEY... *
    ***********************************
    PHENOMICON '92 in Atlanta: DOBBS DEVIVAL - heads successfully launched!
    Possibly the best convention yet to hit Atlanta- with tons of conspiracies,
    vampires, sleaze, face-fucking bats, and SLACK-ful anti-music supplied by the
    Swingin' Love Corpses Anti-Music Dissemination Corp and Recreational
    Chemical Analysis Brigade. Terrific videos too- with 2 fantastic 24-hour
    movie rooms...and the Bob Tilton Fart Video. Full-scale devival included:
    Rev. Ivan Stang, Sister Mary Squared, Papa Joe Mama, Janor Hypercleats, and
    a host of others performing schisms, miracles, rants, launchings, and
    "Bob" killings. Don't miss this next year! Memorable quotes:

    Sister Susie the Floozie:
    "Without slack, life is like a bowl of shit with the handle on the inside"

    Sister Mary Squared: "Feed me, pet me, milk me, eat me."

    Janor Hypercleats: "To join the Church of Don, you must TAKE A LIFE!!"

    Rev. Ivan Stang: "Haven't they released those bats YET?"

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    Comics: Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. #12 by Sheldon and Mavrides
    Rip-Off Press - PO Box 4686
    Auburn, CA 95604 (also ask for 1992 Fall/Holiday catalog)

    Savage Henry #23, Tequila with Clint Ruin. (Also from Rip-Off Press)

    Ren & Stimpy #2, Marvel comics. Sick and twisted, as it should be.
    387 Park Ave. South, NY 10016

    ****** The Church of Tina Chopp has transmutated into....... ********

    The Church of Hemp! Dedicated to fight to re-legalize the
    PO Box 1511 sacred Cannabis plant! Still with the
    Bellingham, WA 98227-1511 GREAT Jack Chick-ripoff comic books!!

    Also check out the book "The Emperor Wears No Clothes" by Jack Herer,
    $14.95, available from: Help End Marijuana Prohibition, 5632 Van Nuys
    Blvd #210, Van Nuys, CA 91401 (213) 392-1806

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This news article was transcribed during a trance session. Mr. Ambasgun, completely zonked on 'Frop [TM] (Trade Name for Hazafropzipulops Herb Blend), apparently viewed it precognitively during a trance rant at the Chicago chapter of The Clench of the Stark Fist of Removal. T_Deacon transcribed the session, with annotations by T_Rev.


    BYRNE AND BYRNE BURN BYRNE, THEN BURN

    CHICAGO(UPI) - The bodies of famed entertainer David Byrne, comic book writer John Byrne, and former Chicago mayor Jane Byrne were identified this morning as apparent victims of a murder-suicide pact at the former site of the 3 Penny Theatre. Firefighters were alerted by the theatre's fire alarms almost immediately, but their attempts to control the blaze proved futile as the structure burned to the ground.

    The bodies were found near a locked iron box, which escaped the flames undamaged. The box contained old campaign posters, several recent issues of _Superman_, and Laurie Anderson's album, _Home of the Brave_. Police detectives also discovered an encrypted note describing in detail the motive and means of the murder. "It appears that John Byrne, in his final effort to subjugate women, enlisted the aid of the musician in a bizarre plot to protest women in politics and boost his employer's sagging sales in the comics industry," said police captain Margaret Sawyer. On the subject of the murder/suicide's details, Captain Sawyer explains, "It was a pretty grisly scene. We believe that John and David immolated the ex-Mayor, then doused
    the theatre with gasoline and set it ablaze, dying on their own pyre." Preliminary autopsy reports, including dental records, indicate a strong resemblance between Ms. Byrne and supposedly deceased Chicago political
    "Boss" Richard Daley. Pop psychologist Eric Berne, author of _I'm OK,
    You're OK_, was unavailable for comment.

    The comics and music industries have been badly shaken by the news. DC Comics released a statement that performance artist Laurie Anderson will take over
    the plotting and scripting of _Superman_. Many changes are in store for Anderson's Man of Steel. Anderson said, "As my new colleague Chris Claremont pointed out, 'Is there any reason why this character _can't_ be a woman?'
    I'll be exploring the implications of this in the months to come." Aforementioned comics writer Chris Claremont will be taking over David Byrne's mantle as songwriter/lead singer of the rock group Talking Heads. "I
    believe that the band will be reissuing _Life During Wartime_, and I personally have an idea for a Jerry Harrison limited series. Crossover characters will probably include Wolverine, Kitty Pryde, and Janet Van Dyne. Also, Louise [Simonson] has suggested that Power Pack be included."

    A lead to a possible link between the tragedy and a pornography ring
    based in the harbors of Chicago is being pursued. Any citizens having
    relevant infomation should contact the Chicago Police Department.


    [Soul-saving graphics here]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "You'll pay to know what you really think" - Dobbs

    I'm here to quote various SubGenii sources and do a mini-Rant while waiting for
    Stang or someone to come rant for a while. Thanks to BoB TeCH (or however
    it's capitalized these days) for the group and the first introductory rant.
    Perhaps someday soon I'll do a real rant, for now though, I'll slack off...

    "We lie constantly and DO NOT TRICK YOU. The Conspiracy lies constantly and
    TRICKS YOU. We talk in absolutely _no-bullshit_ fashion about a FUCKED-UP
    WORLD, and the Conspiracy hems and haws and bullshits and FUCKS THE WORLD UP"
    - St. Clair McNutt non-pervert and Dad, in the _Stark_Fist_of_Removal_,
    "A Short Hate Rant On The Word "FUCK" And The New Child Sex"

    "`Bob's` surreavolutionary doctrine of PATRIO-PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO-MATERIALISM
    has found ever-larger number of zealous adherents despite relentless
    persecution by the FBI and other robot engines of the Conspiracy"
    - SubGenuis propaganda pamphlet


    For those of you who have not achieved slack, have not attended devivals and
    do not understand Bulldada, there is time. Yes, For J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is the perfect "Bob" to ask when you need someone to cut you some SLACK. He alone,
    I say that he ALONE represents on Earth the true manifestation of SLACK so necessary to the SubGenuis.

    Take the first step in fighting of the Conspiracy and avoiding the pinks.

    Quit your Job! Slack Off!

    dammit


    [Neuro-hypnotic graphics at the bottom of this page]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Prom Night Do you get tongue-tied, flustered,
    and turn to jello when an
    Johnny was excited. Prom night was attractive woman propositions finally here. He had been waiting for you? Well, world-famous author this day for two months. His knees were Snavely Patch is here to help shaking. "Is she gonna like me? Geesh, I you with his highly acclaimed
    hate first dates. Why did I have to make manual.....
    our first date Prom?" He donned his
    tuxedo and went down stairs.
    HOW TO SAY
    "Doesn't our little boy look so grown up!" "NO" TO WOMEN

    "Mom...stop that. When are you going to
    let me grow up?"

    "She means well son. Come here a minute, [graphic]
    I want to talk to you," his dad said as he
    ushered him off to the corner. "You need
    some money?"
    YOU WILL LEARN:
    "No dad. Well on second thought I could
    use a little, 'ncase I run out of gas or * Humiliating put-downs that somthing." will devastate women so
    thoroughly they will think
    "No sweat, how about a $50?...That's twice before ever molesting what I thought. Uh... Johnny, do you have you again
    your party hat?"
    * Rejections that don't
    "Dad, nobody wears top hats anymore, sound corny.
    c'mon..geesh!"
    * Subtle reflex maneuvers for
    "No Johnny, what I mean is, well, uh... diverting their grasp from Are you planning to fuck your date tonight? your genitalia.

    "Oh. Yes Dad I have my Party Hat." * Where all the "icebergs" Johnny couldn't believe it. His dad, never hang out
    acted like this before. "Prom must be
    something special," he said to himself as * 101 uses for a properly
    he left to get his date. "After all, it slung sidearm.
    isn't every night that a Catholic priest
    offers to give his illegitimate son condoms CALL BEFORE MIDNIGHT - $29.95 to fuck his companion on their first date. Visa/MC/AmEx 1-800-555-BLOW


    A GOVERNMENT DOES NOT HAVE TO
    [more graphics] PUT CHAINS ON PEOPLE WHO WILL
    PUT THEM ON THEMSELVES. WHAT
    ARE YOU CHAINED TO?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [Blatant ad for:]

    Church of the SUBGENIUS

    Radio Show

    12pm Sunday Night

    KZSU 90.1 FM


    [Great graphics by Dr. Howl]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Subject: Illuminatus Official Doc. 46364
    Organization: A.I.S.B., Jim Jones Cabal, Sphere of Bureaucracy,
    Age of the Yog-Sathoth.
    Keywords:

    I'm afraid there have been some rumours floating around that the Ancient Illumi-
    nated Seers of Bavaria have had a hand in 1. Kennedy's Assasination, 2.
    George Bush's Public Vomiting, and 3. The Church of the SubGenius founding, and administration.
    We here at the Jim Jones Cabal would like to get a few things straight right now. We HAVE NEVER been a part of the JFK assasination, except for
    hiring the killers, co-ercing the CIA and the Dallas Police into 'turning the other way' for us, getting Lee Harvey Oswald to play the part of Dupe and take the fall for the whole thing, securing the weapons and ammo., getting the killers into position, hypnotising all of the members of the Warren Commision, blackmailing Oliver Stone into putting out "JFK" to further cloud the issue, and coming up with alt.conspiracy so that our little mis-information games could continue.
    We at the A.I.S.B. however are entirely responsible for the LHO shooting though. After all, he was the Head Honcho for the Chaos branch of
    the A.I.S.B. and we couldn't allow him to remain alive.
    We hope you understand.
    As for George Bush's Public Vomiting, except for one of our Secret Service contacts slipping a canister full of synthetic Stomach Flu virus
    into the Presidential Suite two nights before, we did nothing.
    The Flu was synthesized at the POEE's SphincterZone Labs in Umbrage, Vermintown, Atalantis (which is, BTW, the official name of Atlantis, which
    is the commonly used name). We have had the labs check the Prime Minister of Japan Brother Oliver Stone is hard at work on this one as well.
    The Church of the SubGenius, though, is another bowl of tumours entirely. The Church has been completely infiltrated by the A.I.S.B. and
    is being finely tuned to bring the majority of those identifying themselves
    as "the SubGenii", mostly college aged males, into line with official
    A.I.S.B. and POEE mindset. Thus, as has been hypothesized before, the Church
    of the SubGenius and all of its publications, trademarks, and upper ecshelon are all Illunminatus puppets. "Bob" himself, who was, according to Jim Jones files, born in Gary, Indiana in 1403 and 1924, and was killed officially, only once, on May 23, 1985 (5/23/85 for all you numerology buffs), was first conceived, in vitrio, in the same SphincterZone Labs.
    The date for X-day; July 5, 1998; has been set, because that is
    the day when the Eschaton will be immenantized. On this day, the Illuminati will return to South America, and the Cracking of the Great Pyramid will
    occur, taking all of the Illuminati to the safe havens under the ground.
    This is where all of the SubGenius fantasies of the X-ists came from. Unfortunately, we have already chosen the desirables from the UnFit, so becoming a card-carrying member is pretty pointless. This doesn't mean, however, that you should stop sending money; it goes to pay for our
    doughnuts.
    Sorry.
    Novus Ordo Seclorum --><--

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Prince Reverend Doktor Lord Sam Widgets of Pendleton; Prince of the Milky
    Way; Doktor of the Forbidden Sciences; Grand Master of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, Jim Jones Cabal; Wise Siviast of the Ancient and Primitive Memphis-Misraim Rite; Knight of the Black Cross of the Ancient and Accepted Scottish Rite; Magister Templi (8=3) of the Ancient and Noble Guardians of the Rosy Cross.

    C. Arnold gorilla@cats.ucsc.edu


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    FACTSHEET FIVE
    Electronic version is now available.

    Finally, the fantastic zine listing/review magazine that went to shit after
    Mike Gunderloy left it is *BACK AGAIN*, but for the time being, only for
    people with Internet access.

    To subscribe, send e-mail to: jerod23@well.sf.ca.us
    Updates, issues, or both methods are available; specify what you want on
    the subject line. Updates are sent out as they are completed, issue
    subscriptions will have 20-30 messages sent out all at once to your mailbox.
    An issue subscription will generally insure that large file won't be lost.

    Printed versions may be available later.


    ----------------------------- R A V E S ------------------------------------

    SOUNDSHOCK presents | SAT DEC 5 - Groove to Moove 2
    "earth 2 elvis" | 10pm-230am at Cedar's, downtown
    | Youngstown, OH. Call for directions
    Fryday * December 4th | (216) 743-6560. Cedar's is a little
    Hosts: Rick Phifer & Graflin | bar in BFE but the first Groove to
    One for the money...Two for the Show! | Moove night was a BLAST so you'd
    Been away too long...It's time to | better come out for this one. Live
    TECH * TECH * TECHNO!!! | performances by Body Release, Big
    "LIVE" Elvis | Engine. DJ's: Mike Filly (Cleveland),
    | Nik Popa (Akron)
    DJs: O'Die from Memphis |---------------------------------------
    DAZ from Memphis | SAT DEC 12 - Jive Alive and the
    Chip B from Nashville | Everlasting Gobstopper. Nashville TN
    with T-Zer Visual Attacks | Info: (615) 780-3730
    |---------------------------------------
    Smart Bar by Flip & Dip | Fallout Shelter - 2 S. West St.
    50000 Watts of Sound by Space Bass | Raleigh, NC. Mondays and Wednesdays
    $10 Cover * $12 w/o invite | Industrial Dance Nights
    Lights & Visuals by Technocolor |---------------------------------------
    Live performance by SoundShock | 88.1FM WKNC Raleigh, NC - Night Waves
    Omni New Daisy on Beale Street | Wednesdays feature rave music, but
    info 901.763.8064 | ignore Spam&Eggs, the reviewers
    *** Memphis, TN *** |---------------------------------------
    | Depot - Raves with U.N.I.T.Y. ---------------------------------------| 300 E. Washington St, off Market St.
    ELECTRONIC RAVES LISTINGS: | Greensboro, NC
    SE-RAVES, southeast coast. |---------------------------------------
    to subscribe, send an empty message | Wilmington, NC: Metropolis
    to: dickendj@ctrvx1.vanderbilt.edu | Located 1 block back from docks
    with subject: "SUBSCRIBE SE-RAVES" |---------------------------------------
    |
    MW-RAVES - midwestern region | Detroit: VOOM rave in the basement of
    to subscribe, send an empty message | the "Bank". First date is Sat, Nov 21
    to: ajbennett@miavx1.ac.muohio.edu | FOR INFO, CALL (313) 433-2129
    with subject: SUBSCRIBE | ===============================================================================

    C O N V E N T I O N S

    December 11-13, 1992 (Louisiana)

    SMOFCON 9. Doubletree Hotel, New Orleans LA. Convention for convention
    organizers. Memb: $40 until 9/30/92, more after (checks payable to
    William Jensen). Info: William Jensen, 8331 Donoghue St., New
    Carrollton MD 20784.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Sing-song of the dead @@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ ---------------------
    @@@@@ @@@@@@ An (ahem) original work.
    @@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ (c) 1990 by Senkrad Latot.
    @@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@
    @@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ I saw Elvis selling candy to the
    @@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ children on the corner
    @@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ He grinned and winked at me
    @@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Right then, I knew he wasn't dead
    @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ He and Mr. Freedom drink tea at Mae's @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ on Sundays
    @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ Don't ask me how I know
    @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ The proof is in my head
    @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@
    @@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ Buddy Holly cuts my hair-
    @@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ he's got a knack for it
    @@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ Just a bit of a snip or two
    @@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@ He always gets it right
    @@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ Morrison sacks groceries at the
    @@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ five-and-dime on Bellevue
    @@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ You really can't tell that it's him
    @@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@ Unless the light is right
    @@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ Saw Stevie Ray on Jeopardy--
    @@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@ he came in second place
    @@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@ Didn't know all the answers
    @@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ But still he played the game
    @@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@ Janice J. and Jimi own a KAO in Flagstaff

    @@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@ They run an honest business
    @@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@ Though they don't use their real names @@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ Some day soon the dead
    @@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ will arise
    @@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ before your eyes
    @@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@ to your surprise
    @@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ But not mine
    @@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@ They'll have a word or two
    @ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ for all you grievers
    @ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@ non-believers
    @ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ deceivers
    @L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Of your own depressing minds
    @~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ They will say "Be happy
    don't worry
    Holy Temple of no hurry
    Mass Consumption mustn't scurry
    PO Box 30904 Around feeling down--it's all wrong
    Raleigh, NC 27622
    "We should all be living
    "Why No Holy Vegetable?" for the day
    let us play
    'cause if we may
    We'd like to have you join us in a song"

    [George Bush La la la la la la la .....
    graphics here]
    Liberace is dead
    I saw him die
    And I don't know why


    Ty Holder
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Ty Holder@RICKSBBS to All on Wednesday, February 18, 2026 06:27:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #13, Put the "Xist" back in "X-Mas" $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to: F R E E

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption Hardcopy - send SASE
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere HAPPY
    SOLSTICE!!!
    NEWS since the last time:

    FUNDIES FALL DOWN ON JOB --- Possibly still comatose from their stinging
    defeat last November, local fundamentalist churches have completely
    FAILED in their yearly crusade to flood local parking lots with possibly
    the best bulldada of all, the anti-commercialism pamphlets. WHERE HAVE
    ALL THE "SATAN-CLAUS" FLYERS GONE??? After checking every mall, shopping
    center, and grocery store in the region, the search yielded ABSOLUTELY
    NONE of the poorly drawn, over-dramatic screeching hysterics that we've
    come to love and expect over the years. Maybe they're all too busy trying
    to pack the local school boards. They aren't even *decent* scumbags.

    If anyone can get some to us from your part of the country, it would be
    appreciated. Best ones will be reprinted here, plus you will win a
    SECRET PRIZE!!!!

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    [graphics]
    Comics: Post Brothers #28
    Rip-Off Press
    [Motorcyclist with PO Box 4686
    no helmet?????] Auburn, CA 95604

    Ron Post finds a new victim to tell his
    [Aha- helmet hidden yearly story of his first car - a van -
    under long-hair wig!] and how he lost it. Plus, grisly bits.

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    HIGH WEIRDNESS by EMAIL 2.0 now available

    California motorcyclists, The ultimate guide to everything strange,
    angered over a new law exciting, and just plain interesting which
    requring that helmets be is available on the Internet. Includes
    worn, are donning wig-helmets listings of electronic zines (ezines), FTP
    to annoy and confuse archive sites for everything imaginable,
    highway patrol officers. Internet BBS's, and more. Plus, mini-
    reviews when available. For info, mail:
    mporter@nyx.cs.du.edu, or look for this
    great file in alt.slack...


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    From San Jose Mercury News November 18, 1991

    GOLF GODDESS GUIDES JAPANESE DUFFERS
    Really
    Newsweek neat
    graphics
    TOKYO - Call it Zen and the art of lowering your all
    handicap. In Japan, where golf is practically a over
    religion, duffers now can turn to a "Golf Goddess this
    of Mercy" before starting their rounds. page.

    The goddess is a statue called Gorufu Kannon that Too
    sits in front of a 430 year old Zen temple in the bad
    city of Annaka, 70 miles northwest of Tokyo. you're
    stuck
    Smiling benignly, the goddess holds a golf ball with
    and putter. Behind her are 13 golf clubs the representing 13 Buddhist teachings. ASCII
    version. Golfers flock to the temple on weekends,
    leaving golf balls and tees on the altar in
    front of the goddess.

    Police dog finds COMMENTARY: stolen pizza


    I do enjoy that old time religion and wish there
    was more of it in the USA. This demonstrates the
    views of our remote ancestors regarding the gods.
    I'd like to see more of this in the future.

    --------------------------------------------------

    Donning my Pink-resistant glasses, I ventured into the
    Pinkest Place hereabouts: Crabtree Valley Mall,
    in search of Subgenius.

    Not only was this Mall of Halls nearly illiterate (only
    two bookstores), it was effectively literate in the
    Pink-only sense.

    I asked the Clerk at the bookstore desk, "Have you any
    copies of "The Book of Subgenius", author Staff of the
    Subgenius Foundation, ISBN 007-0622299, McGraw-Hill,
    $9.95, that you can sell me so that I will not have to
    tie my large intestine into large Pink knots and spew
    creamed corn onto your Pink Clerk's Counter?"

    The Clerk just laughed, saying "We don't have any weirdo
    stuff here."

    Do not leave large piles of rotting refuse in this
    bookstore.

    Do not EVER do this as often as possible.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    So we're speeding headlong into the eco-econocataclysm, business-as-usual, corporations so big you scream "Fuck You" from the bottom of your lungs
    and the echo from the top of the power pyramid comes back a year later
    as a NOTICE OF DISHONOR OF CHECK form letter. Or no echo returns at all,
    and you try to scream again but the wet-thick coughs rack your chest (too
    much NOx from the street) and you realize that the corporate death aliens
    are turning our air into a hydrocarbon copy of their smog-and-CO2
    atmosphere; "Boy Howdy! You can sell those humans anything! We've got
    'em buying nuclear-waste fertilizer, we've got 'em buying mercury-loaded
    meat by-products, we've got 'em buying FEAR as an entertainment industry...
    We can sell them smog-making machines and ozone-wrecking machines, we sell
    'em exotic cancers AND the expensive ineffective cures, we sell them brain-rotting guilt-programming on our favorite electronic drug: TV!"
    And the aliens LIKE television! Sure it slows a human's alpha waves and
    puts us in the hypnogogic state for hours on end; sure, it turns our minds into Play-Do for the mass-advertising jackals to shape into whatever
    tractable sheeplike form pleases them. BAA! BAA! "Read my lips: No
    new taxes!" "This is your brain on drugs." "GE brings good things to
    life." And the Earth is their Third World and they've spent the past three billion years mastering the Art of Vertical Integration AND our planet is
    their latest levered buyout...TV is GOOD for them, that raster cutting across the phosphor puts them into disease-free ECSTASY while turning our
    brains to pink MUSH.

    So you eat some more paper because that's the only way your mind can find
    its original shape, and you go into the woods, knowing that those trees
    will only be there a few more years because the goddamn US Forest Service
    is selling all of the "National" forests to Mazda and Mitsubishi Bank...
    and subsidizing the sales with your own "no new tax" money. Yes, your
    brain is on that hot skillet, sizzling, turning brown around the edges, and
    you feel SANE for the first time in months. Because you've been getting
    more and more paranoid lately, haven't you? You see a dumb horror flick
    by a low-budget director while you're really baked and you realize it's
    a fucking DOCUMENTARY, not just another teen slasher product, but a last-ditch effort to wake people UP: They Live, We Sleep, OBEY, CONSUME, NO THOUGHT.
    You see an old friend and he has a poster that says "Paranoid? Most of
    your fears are real." And you really ARE paranoid, but if ever there was
    a time for paranoia, it is now; you watch Jollie Ollie North casually
    explain to Sen. Inouye his plans to suspend the Constitution, as if
    there even WERE a Constitution anymore, after the National Security Act.
    But the A gives you wisdom and comfort: YOU aren't going crazy, you're JUSTIFIED in being paranoid because it isn't paranoia, it's being
    brutally REALISTIC. Land of the Free, right, we live in McSuperPower and
    who do you think sells this cheap plastic CRAP that TIME MAGAZINE calls
    "the American Dream?" George Bush? HA! He is Pure Product, he IS chicken McNuggets, he IS an expendable fuse through which the real powers dump
    vast energies...the Trilaterals? The Council on Foreign Relations?
    You don't even want to ASK about these guys, because they're the Big Boys,
    the Grim Secret Men in Black, and just THINKING about them draws their attention; it's like yelling HASTUR or YOG-SOTHOTH out loud, or invoking
    the Freedom of Information Act to see your FBI file, you just don't want
    to do it, if they notice you you're finished.

    So there are pretty vortical tracers flowing off your fingers now and
    you remember that death is an illusion and Mind is the fundamental
    ordering principle of the Universe...obvious things that everybody
    including you seems to forget...and the neon rainbow colors remind you of
    that new Floyd bootleg CD you bought from Second Coming records, GEE!
    How do they get all that DATA onto one spectrally chromish disk? They can store ENCYCLOPEDIAS on one of those things, and by GOD, the FBI must have thousands of pages of surveillance info on EVERY SINGLE NETTER in North

    America, all neatly stored and indexed, ready to be consulted when they
    find it necessary to send YOU to one of the FEMA camps...If you say,
    "George Bush, ex-CIA director, was out of the loop" enough times maybe
    they'll take pity and only use the thorazine; if you say "Lee Harvey
    Oswald, acting alone, murdered President Kennedy" they may even send
    you to Tiger Island to join up with the Death Squad Elite. You chant
    over and over, "Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone..." and maybe you can even convince yourself it's TRUE, but not while you're frying, because right
    now you're NOT asleep, you see through the NSA even if they DO own over
    half the Crays ever made, you see through the petty little treacheries
    that are sold to the public every day: Reagan and Khomeini, Bush and Noriega, goddamn GE and NBC bringing good things to life at Hanford and Pinellas,
    Exxon and the environment President, BP on the move, RJR and their
    sickeningly subliminal Smooth Character Penis Camel, the glorps at work
    who don't MIND toxic waste as long as it's "disposed of" in some IBM-owned Third-World country, and we BUY this shit.

    And above it all, you can HEAR the slack-sucking aliens laughing their
    ASSES off, because this invasion was so damn easy it's pathetic. "Gawd,
    you can sell them ANYTHING! Just last week we convinced them that
    a war on their own country will make them MORE FREE! This 'Freedom'
    product is the best scam since the $64,000 question!" Yes, Earth is
    the laughingstock of the galaxy, creatures in the Small Magellanic Cloud
    tell human jokes: "Hey Vornan-17, how many humans are buying Men-From- Planet-X brand National Security at this very moment?" "Dunno."
    "Three hundred million! HAW HAW HAW!"

    So now you're peaking, and tears are rolling down your cheeks from the relentless giggling. It really is funny after all, this "Bob"cid is the
    best fry you've had in years, at least the aliens haven't gotten their tentacles on the vitamin A industry; in fact they made it a felony
    because it makes you HUMAN again, blows their Jack-in-the-Box raster-
    scanned molasses lint out of your brain...it should be given away FREE on
    every street corner.

    And a Forest Ranger, wearing the official Weyerhauser smile, puts a
    .38 to your head and turns you off.


    . "You don't have many suspects who
    DEATH . .. are innocent of a crime. That's
    . . . contradictory. If a person is innocent
    . . . . of a crime, then he is not a suspect."
    . .. . . . . - Edwin Meese III
    . . . . . ..
    . . . . . . .



    [More neat-o graphics here]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    "$22 BILLS" - "LOVE 22" - "1993" (HOLIDAY-22-GIFT LIST OFFER)

    More neat stuff from:

    Love 22
    PO Box 4022
    Key West, FL 33040


    After 5 Independent Presidential campaigns, this will be the 18th year
    for the "$22 BILLS". Being a past supporter of the infamous "LOVE 22",
    here is the "UPDATE" all new "ADVANCE""1993" HOLIDAY GIFT LIST order form
    "SHEETS". "PLEASE" take tim to "CLIP" "N MAIL" NOW to solve your holiday
    gift ideas & support the "LOVE 22" Independent '96 campaign. Give them
    what "THEY" all want for the holidays....the money!!!

    The eye catching funny money "$22 BILLS" plus PAPER FOLDED ACCESSORIES:
    $22 rings, $22 bow ties, $22 shirts, and $22 boots will delight, both
    young and old. With free "TRADES" a reality, you may now order "ALL NEW"
    Canadian $22 bills. The "2200" Mexican Peso notes are on the drawing board.
    As always, the new U.S. $22 bills which have been "CASHED" over 500 times,
    "NOT ME", in their history are available

    A real "NICE" gift of course are the attention getting "LOVE 22" $22
    T-shirts & sweat shirts available both U.S. & Canadian sizes
    (S) (M) (L) (XL)

    When not traveling as a "BUSKER" comic performer all over the world,
    "LOVE 22" is now the official KY*WEST", Fla. Amabassador greeter by
    proclamation from the Mayor. With best regards for a happy & healthy
    holiday season, I look forward to serving you.


    Sincerely,

    LOVE 22




    Name___________________________________________ MAIL ORDER: make check or money
    order payable to: LOVE 22

    Address_________________________________________


    City___________________________STATE_______________ZIP_____________


    "PLEASE" check below which items & send self addressed stamped envelope!!


    __ UNITED STATES __ CANADIAN
    "$22 BILLS"

    __ 5 for $1.00 __ Rings $1.00 T-Shirts __Canada __US

    __ 11 for $2.00 __ Shirts $1.00 __SM __Med __Lg __X-Lg

    __ 30 for $5.00 __ Bow Ties $1.00 Sweat Shirts __Canada __US

    __ 75 for $10.00 __ Boots $1.00 __SM __Med __Lg __X-Lg

    __ 222 for $22.00

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- C O N V E N T I O N S -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

    January 1-3, 1993 (Virginia)

    EVECON 10. Doubletree Inn, 300 Army Navy Drive, Crystal City
    (Arlington) VA. 24 hour gaming, 24 hour video room, costumes, 2
    live-action role-playing games, Saturday dance, more. Info: Evecon
    10, c/o Bruce Evry, 1601 Thomas Rd., Ft. Washington MD 20744;
    (301)292-5231 (before 10pm Eastern).

    January 8-10, 1993 (Florida)

    TROPICON 11. Airport Holiday Inn, West Palm Beach, FL; rms $65;
    (407)659-3880. GoH: Ramsey Campbell; Guests: Ben Bova, Richard Lee
    Byers, Scott Ciencin, Hal Clement, Jack Haldeman II. Memb: $21 until
    11/30/92, $25 after. Info: Tropicon 11, c/o SFSFS, Box 70143, Ft.
    Lauderdale FL 33307;(407)435-9572.

    January 14-17, 1993 (Los Angeles)

    Institute for Inquiry Seminar: "Astronomy and Pseudoscience", sponsored by
    CSICOP, and "The Scientific Examination of Religion" by CODESH. Cost is
    $125 for one, $225 for both, plus special benefit performance by Steve
    Allen. Airport Marina Hotel, 8601 Lincoln Blvd, Los Angeles, CA. Hotel
    number is 1-800-225-8126, for more info call CSICOP at (716) 636-1425.

    January 15-17, 1993 (Massachusetts)

    ARISIA '93. Boston Park Plaza Hotel & Towers, Boston MA; $72 sngl/dbl, $82
    tpl/quad. GoH: Ellen Kushner; AGoHs: Charles Lang, Wendy Snow-Lang; TM:
    Marty Gear. Memb: $30 until 12/1/92, $40 after. Info: Arisia, Inc., 1
    Kendall Square Suite 322, Cambridge, MA 02139.

    January 15-17, 1993 (Tennessee)

    CHATTACON 18. Read House, Chattanooga TN. GoH: Glen Cook; AGoH: TBA;
    SGoH: David&Lori Deitrick; TM: Brad Strickland. Memb: $15. Info:
    Chattacon 18, Box 23908, Chattanooga TN 37422.

    January 15-17, 1993 (Washington)

    RUSTYCON 10. SeaTac Radisson Hotel, Seattle, WA. GoH: Roger Zelazny;
    AGoH: Phil Foglio; FGoH: Greg Cox; SGoH: John G. Cramer. Memb: $30
    until 12/31/92, $35 after. Info: RustyCon 10, P.O. Box 84291, Seattle,
    WA 98124-5591.

    January 16-19, 1993 (California, Northern)

    MAKING ORBIT '93. Berkeley Marina Marriott, 200 Marina Boulevard,
    Berkeley, CA 94710; (510)548-7944. Convention for people interested in
    space technology presented by the Space Access Society. Guests: Max
    Hunter, Jerry Pournelle, Larry Niven, G. Harry Stine, Gary Hudson,
    Jordin Kare, Steve Hoeser, Jim Ransom, Tim Kyger, Art Bozlee, J.P. Del
    Fevero, more. Memb: $30 until 10/30/92, $35 until 12/31/92, $40 after.
    Info: Making Orbit '93, 909 Marina Village Parkway #237, Alameda, CA
    94501; (408)321-0154.

    January 29-February 1, 1993 (Australia, Victoria)

    RADICON. Radisson President Hotel, Melbourne, Australia. Guests: Bjo &
    John Trimble, other media guests. Convention also is a benefit
    convention for the Red Cross. Info: Radicon, c/o Christopher Ballis,
    Box 322, Bentleigh 3204, Australia; phone 011-61-3-557-7088.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    R-A-V-E-S

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    | December 26
    wonder party happening new year's eve: | Milwaukee
    | The return of Drop Bass Network.. thome tomato presents | SUPPORT THIS EVENT. it's important.
    | (414) 283-1XHI
    S M I L E |--------------------------------------
    | December 31
    thursday, dec 31st *new year's eve* | DC Area
    | Catastrophic's New Years Rave
    all night long --->$10 | call (703) 971-4555.
    (you'll get your money's worth) |--------------------------------------
    | January - call for day/location
    dj's | Chicago
    --------------> | Liquid presents Moby, The Prodigy, kevy kev jondy chilly willy | and Cybersonic.
    dieselBoy ding thome tomato | (312) 509-8199
    mindcandy daisy (more to be added) |--------------------------------------
    | Info lines for up-to-date information live pa's | 1-800-4-RAVELINE --------------> |
    body release | Unity Line (313) 741-HYPR
    sonic | Chicago: (312) 509-2918
    | (312) 509-5192
    lighting by techno color | (312) 786-3909
    | (312) 712-0340
    effects by everybody | (312) 509-5022
    | Milwaukee: (414) 283-1XHI
    enough strobes to make you smile | (414) 283-1031
    | (414) 571-2042
    25,000 watts of thumping bass (no shit)| (414) 283-1015
    | Madison: (608) 283-DEAD
    smart bar by think smart | Minneapolis (612) 376-0226
    |-------------------------------------- VOOM and BANG instant ravegear supplied| Detroit VOOM Raves have been BUSTED..
    | but check out the:
    + SPECIAL GUESTS TBA |
    | TRIBE Xmas Party
    call: | 1515 Broadway, old Music Institute CINCINNATI 513.860.6039 | Detroit
    COLUMBUS 614.523.8711 | Christmas night- Doors open 11:59pm CLEVELAND 216.348.4701 |-------------------------------------- NEW YORK 800.4RAVELINE | Slack is the free car wash you get
    | with every fill-up of "Bob" ===============================================================================

    BROTHER JED 1992 TOUR ENDS at Univ. of Florida, Gainesville:

    Brother Jed made his appearance on the Plaza yesterday. He was in great
    form. Last year he looked tired and burned out, but he was on top of his
    game yesterday. I walked over while he was sitting on a bench, shook his
    hand and thanked him for coming. He said, "Thank you, god bless you." I
    forgot to tell him I was possessed by the demon Gnirut.

    Brother Tom, his understudy, had improved a lot since last year. He was interactive, responding to questions and generally having a good time.
    Sister Cindy isn't here. "The little baby machine," as Jed calls her, is
    home taking care of the kids.

    Carl Turner turner@webb.psych.ufl.edu

    Brother Jed's next stop is off for holidays, then the west Coast.
    Look for them in California this January!!!!

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ [Picture from
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ "classic" John K. episode
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ of Ren & Stimpy, not the
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ sanitized Corporate-Exec
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ Slime-approved cute and
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ cuddly non-offensive
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ Conspiracy BULLSHIT that
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ is already creeping into
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ not only this great toon,
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@ but EVERYTHING thats ever @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ WORTH a DAMN and actually @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@ ENTERTAINS rather than @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ just fill time until the @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ next round of commercials @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@ for "Math class is tough" @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@ Barbies that aren't just
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ overpriced cheap junk
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ trash for imaginationless
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ kids, but ACTUALLY a SYMBOL @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    of the mindless sheep-like

    For hardcopy w/graphics, send SASE to: morons that the PEOPLE WITH

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption THEIR FINGER ON THE BUTTON....]
    PO Box 30904
    Raleigh, NC 27622
    ____ . _ . _____________
    For ezine version, mail: /# /_\_ |\_|/__/| / \
    | |/o\o\ / / \/ \ \ / Avenge \
    Slack@ncsu.edu to get on list | \\_/_/ /__|O||O|__ \ \ John K. !! /
    quartz.rutgers.edu - back / |_ | |/_ \_/\_/ _\ | \ ___________/
    issues (128.6.60.6) | ||\_ ^| | | (____) | || |/
    | ||| \/ \/\___/\__/ // _/
    WARNING: What you | |||_ (_/ ||
    have just read was produced \// | | ||
    by pouring lukewarm tea || | | ||\
    for 42 seconds onto 9 people ||_ \ \ //_/
    chained to 6 Ouija boards. The \_| | \______//
    secretary will disavow any /\___/ __ || __||
    knowledge of my actions in the / ||||__ (____(____)
    event I am caught or killed. (___)_)


    Ty Holder
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Jerry Woody@RICKSBBS to All on Thursday, February 19, 2026 06:24:00
    Date: 22 Jan 93 04:10:15 GMT
    Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.discordia,talk.bizarre
    Subject: HToMC #14


    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #14 $$$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to: F R E E

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption Hardcopy - send SASE
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere HAPPY

    NEWS since the last time:

    HToMC will be at the VulKon in Atlanta, GA on Feb. 19-21. For con info,
    call Joe Motes at (305) 434-6060 or 12237 SW 50 St., Cooper City, FL
    33330-5406. This will be at the Hyatt Atlanta Airport, 1900 Sullivan
    Rd - (404) 991-1234 for reservations. Guest include DeForest Kelley,
    George Takei, and possibly Colm Meaney. Plus, slackful conventioneers.

    COMICS to Want and Buy: (tons of great stuff for 1993)

    Ren & Stimpy #3 The Hacker Files
    R&S become South Am. dictators Operation Moonwitch (1.0) - Jan
    Operation Moonwitch (2.0) - Feb
    Ren & Stimpy #4
    Beatnick Stimpy, Java-crazed After a government sting operation
    Ren, plus Muddy Mudskipper frames computer users, Hacker and
    Scarecrow stage a daring breakout.
    Plus story in Marvel Age #121 Features the Green Lantern.

    Marvel Comics DC Comics
    387 Park Ave. South 1325 Avenue of the Americas
    NY, NY 10016 NY, NY 10016

    Post Brothers #29 Flaming Carrot #30
    Ron fouls up an his new Flaming Carrot and The Man on
    assassination job the Moon take on The Scribbler

    Savage Henry #24 Thirteen O'Clock by Richard Sala
    A Night in Berlin: trouble Mr. Murmur faces the diabolical
    with Bobbie Neuwave Doctor Q; stories from the MTV
    Liquid Television animator
    Both available from:
    Rip Off Press Dark Horse Comics
    PO Box 4686 10956 SE Main St
    Auburn, CA 95604 Milwaukie, OR 97222

    1993 Cry For Dawn Calendar Prometheus' Gift
    Adults only. Cross between Modern reinterpretation of the
    Giger and Vargas, great pics Greek Myth. Weird stuff.

    Cry For Dawn Prod. Ltd. Cat-Head Comics
    360-A W. Merrick Rd. Ste 350 PO Box 576
    Valley Stream, NY 11580 Hudson, MA 01749

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Bay Area Skeptics

    PSYCHICS' PREDICTIONS FIZZLE FOR 1992

    President Bush was not re-elected. Madonna did not become a gospel singer, and a UFO base was not found in the Mexican desert. These were just a few of the many predictions that had been made for 1992 by famous "psychics", but were dead wrong, as chronicled by the Bay Area Skeptics.

    At the end of each year, many well-known "psychics" issue predictions for the year to come. Twelve months later, they issue another set of predictions, conveniently forgetting those made the year before, which are always nearly 100% wrong. Each year, however, the Bay Area Skeptics dig up the predictions made the year before, to the embarrassment of those who made them.

    Many of the "psychic" predictions made are so vague that it is impossible to say if they came true or not: for example, Jeane Dixon's prediction that Tracey Gold "faces perilous periods in July and October" [The Star, April 14, 1992] is not obviously true or false. Many other "predictions" involve things that happen every year, or else are not difficult to guess, such as terrorist incidents, marital strife for Charles and Diana, or severe winter storms. Many supposed "predictions" simply state that ongoing events and trends will continue, such as economic uncertainty, or conflict in the Middle East. Some predictions did of course come true, especially those that were unspecific, or not at all difficult to guess: several "psychics" correctly predicted that
    a hurricane would cause major destruction in Florida or Cuba, but not one was specific as to the date or principal location of the damage. Hurricanes occur, of course, every season in the Caribbean. Significantly, not one prediction which was both specific and surprising came true.

    Other supposed "predictions" are not really predictions at all, but are actually disclosures of little-known events which are already under way, such as movie productions, marriage plans, business ventures, or developing scandals. Because questionable claims of having made an amazing prediction are frequently made in the wake of major news stories, the Bay Area Skeptics only evaluates predictions that were published or broadcast before the events they claimed to foretell.

    New York "psychic" Lou Wright predicted that three men would unsuccessfully attempt to kidnap Candice Bergen in Paris, and Marlon Brando would be arrested for trying to bust his son out of jail [Natl. Enquirer, Jan. 2, 1992].

    Los Angeles "psychic" Maria Graciette predicted that a secret UFO base would be found deep in the Mexican desert, thousands of years old, and that Vice- President Dan Quayle, attending a World Series game, would impulsively inter- fere with a play [National Enquirer, June 9, 1992].

    New York "psychic" John Monti predicted that "a massive hurricane will devastate Cuba and topple Castro's regime," that a huge AIDS epidemic would "threaten to end professional sports" [National Enquirer, Jan. 2, 1992], and that a scientific advance would allow women to delay menopause, allowing them to have children into their 60s [National Enquirer, June 9, 1992].

    The famous Washington, D.C. "psychic" Jeane Dixon, who supposedly has a "gift of prophecy",saw that Fidel Castro would be overthrown, possibly resulting in Cuba becoming part of the U.S., and Virginia governor Douglas Wilder would gain enough support for a "vice-presidential invitation". President-elect Bill Clinton, however, she described as "the Democratic shooting star," for whom "an organization of women will try to block his path" [The Star, Jan. 21, 1992]. President Bush's ratings would climb, resulting in his reelection [The Star, July 7, 1992]. She also predicted "a promising economic upturn in the spring," and that "broccoli will become the miracle vegetable of the '90s" [The Star, Jan. 21, 1992].

    Chicago "psychic" Irene Hughes predicted that Vanna White and her husband would purchase a "haunted" mansion in Beverly Hills, from which they would flee in terror a week later. Madonna's career would be interrupted by a "mystery illness," but she would recover after having a religious vision, and become a gospel singer [National Enquirer, June 9, 1992].

    New York "psychic" Laura Steele predicted that an earthquake would topple the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, and that William Kennedy Smith would enter the priesthood to become a missionary in Africa [National Enquirer, Jan. 2, 1992].

    Los Angeles "psychic" Judy Hevenly predicted that George Bush would be re- elected "by a landslide," that Madonna would be hit by a car while jogging in New York's Central Park [National Enquirer, Jan. 2, 1992], and that Gennifer Flowers would join the cast of a popular daytime soap opera [National Enquirer, June 9, 1992].

    Another Southern California "psychic," Clarisa Bernhardt, who is claimed to make "uncanny earthquake predictions," warned that scientists would be "shocked" in October when supposedly earthquake-proof Florida is hit by a trembler, only weeks after being hit by "the worst hurricane in the state's history." The prediction that this year's hurricane season would produce Florida's worst destruction yet was correct,but the earthquake prediction was dead wrong. Bernhardt also predicted that Joan Lunden would renew her marriage vows on her TV show, "Good Morning America" [National Enquirer, June 9, 1992],that Michael Jackson would lose his voice and quit singing, and that Joan Rivers would be plagued by three look-alikes created through "extensive plastic surgery" [National Enquirer, Jan. 2, 1992].

    Joan Quigley of San Francisco, White House astrologer to the Reagans, predicted that Bill Clinton would run out of money toward the campaign's end, and that the total eclipse of the sun on June 30 will cause earthshaking events in China [Washington Post, April 18, 1992].

    Here in Northern California, the date of that devastating California earth- quake everybody keeps predicting was pegged for Oct. 17, the third anniver- sary of the Loma Prieta quake, by "psychic" Ernesto A. Moshe Montgomery, who claims an accuracy of 99 1/2 percent [San Jose Metro, Feb. 27, 1992].

    Based on the continuing failure of the "psychics" to make accurate predictions over the years, the Bay Area Skeptics urges everyone - especially the media- to exercise some healthy skepticism when "psychics" and other purveyors of the paranormal make extra-ordinary claims or predictions. Anyone who swallows the "psychics'" claims year after year without checking the record is setting a bad example for students and for the public.

    It is important to note that no "psychic" succeeded in predicting the genuinely surprising news stories of 1992: The destructive fire in Windsor Castle; the feud between Vice-President Quayle and Murphy Brown; the surpris- ing presidential campaign of Ross Perot. These major news stories were so totally unexpected that someone would have had to be genuinely "psychic" to have predicted them twelve months ago! Given the sheer number of so-called "psychics" out there, one would expect that if even one of them were genuine, these things would have been correctly predicted; and since they were not, it suggests that all such claims of "psychic powers" are without foundation.

    The Bay Area Skeptics is a group of people from all walks of life who support the critical examination of paranormal claims, such as psychic powers, UFOs, astrology, Bigfoot, biorhythms, etc. Similar skeptics' organizations are active in many other areas of the country, including New York, Colorado, Georgia, Illinois, Southern California, Arizona, Texas, and Ohio. The Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal (CSICOP), headquartered in Buffalo, NY, is an international Skeptics' organi- zation, made up of many famous writers, scientists, and investigators, such as Martin Gardner, Stephen Jay Gould, Carl Sagan, Philip J. Klass, and many others.

    For more information about the activities and publications of the Bay Area Skeptics, you can call their recorded message line at 510-LA TRUTH.

    THE MORAL:

    BEWARE of CONSPIRACY psychics!!!
    Accept only 100% Dobbs-Approved hallucinations.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Fill out this coupon
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    Complete this simple questionnaire, and befriend a needy
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    If desired, correspondence can help build a meaningful one-to-one
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    __ Yes __ No


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    __ My check for $20 is enclosed for my first monthly
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    __ A pint of my blood and some thyroid and pituitary tissue
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    __ Ten rocks of crack cocaine and a tenth of a gram of heroin
    are enclosed. Please sell them to help the aliens.

    7. Do you wish verification of Save the Aliens credentials?

    Save the Aliens is indeed proud of the handling of its funds.
    Based on last year's audit, an exceptionally large percentage of
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    8. Would you rather make a contribution than become a sponsor
    at this time?

    Please show up at Fred's Cafe in Dulce, New Mexico, anytime
    during the next six months. We'll send one of our special
    representatives to guide you to our corporate headquarters.


    S A V E T H E A L I E N S
    1562 Mutilation Road, Dulce NM 97658

    Member of the American Council for Involuntary Action

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Reprinted without permission from "Stop Making Sense" by The Talking Heads.

    TIPS FOR PERFORMERS: Playing cards have the top half upside-down to help cheaters. There are a finite number of jokes in the universe. Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music for longer than they would ordinarily. There is no music in space. People will pay to watch people make sounds. Everything on stage should be larger than in real life.

    LIVING WITH OTHER PEOPLE: Violence on television only affects children whose parents act like television personallities. Table manners are for people who have nothing better to do. Civilization is a religion. Civilized people walk funny. There is always a party going on somewhere. People will remember you if you always wear the same outfit.

    LIFE ON EARTH: Men like pastries, women like custards. Scientists have
    invented a love drug, but it only works on bugs. Animals like earthquakes, tornadoes, and volcanic activity. Nuclear weapons can wipe out life on Earth, if used properly. Cats like houses better than people. Dolphins find people amusing, but they don't want to talk to them. People look ridiculous when they're in ecstasy. Schools are for training people how to listen to other people. Body odor is the window to the soul. Sound is worth money.

    IN THE HOME: There have been cases where people's shoes got stuck on their
    feet and could never be removed. The best way to get rid of unwanted flying insects is to have strong body odor. There hasn't been a good=looking American car in 20 years. There is always something on television. The best length for television programs is either 30 seconds or 8 hours.

    THE SPACE PEOPLE: Space People read our mail. The Space People think that TV news programs are comedies, and that soap operas are news. The Space People will contact us when they can make money by doing so. The Space People think factories are musical instruments. They sing along with them. Each song lasts from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. No music on weekends.

    MONEY: People will do odd things if you give them money. When everything is worth money, then money is worth nothing. If you keep your money in your shoe, then people will know which bills are yours. If you crumple your money into little bills, it will never stick together. The best way to touch money is by the edges. U.S. money is the worst looking money in the world.

    WORLD TRAVEL: Passport pictures are what people really look like. Rich people will travel great distances to look at poor people. Toast is the national dish of Australia. People never travel to look at flat landscapes. People would rather watch things than eat. Looking at postcards is better than looking at the real thing. Looking up is as scary as looking down.

    IN THE FUTURE: In the future, women will have breasts all over. In the future, it will be a relief to find a place without culture. In the future, plates of food will have names and titles. In the future, we will all drive standing up. In the future, love will be taught on television and by listening to pop
    songs.

    WORK: Crime is a job. Sex is a job. Growing up is a job. School is a job.
    Going to parties is a job. Religion is a job. Being creative is a job.


    [Groovy graphics here]

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [Recipient]: Please Reply.

    Hello Fellow SubG's,

    Bishop Oskee Boskee [B.O.B.] here. I'll be passing along a Brag here that I've sent into Brother Stang in Dobbsland, Texas. Enjoy!

    "BRAG OF THE SYSOP SUBGENIUS" BISHOP OSKEE BOSKEE [B.O.B.]


    "Sure I'll respect you in the morning. Now shut up."


    I'm the Silicon Cul-De-Sac of telecommunications! I'm the first,
    last and ONLY multi-tasking mutant! I infected JHVH-1's mainframe
    with the SLACK Virus and sold 'em another copy as a viral purger!
    Yeah baby, I'm crawling with computer bugs! I eat hackers for
    breakfast and crap pure assembler code before lunch! I put the HEX
    in hexidecimal! I think in binary and speak & write in 7 different
    languages, none of which I understand! Miles Dyson was my kinda guy!
    I NEVER read the documentation! I whiffread programs and re-write
    the code in my pipe-dreams! I don't need peripherals! I am my own
    goddamn hard drive! End users kiss my anal pucker just to get a feel
    of my RAM! My joystick makes all video games obsolete! I don't need
    a surge protector! I spike voltage for shits and giggles! Let the
    Pinkboys play with their floppies! My animal magnetism wipes their
    data disks every time! I back myself up 10 times a second! I threw
    God into an endless loop a millennia ago! Christianity is still
    trying to explain that one away! They don't know that the Bible was
    a half-assed attempt at a user's manual! KREEEEEE-GAH!! I'm the
    hackmaster behind getting the Dobbshead on the Slackless Atari! IBM
    gets its best ideas from my worst designs! The System 360 was my
    idea of running in a circle! Yi!! Yi!! I forced the Con into
    merging IBM and Macintosh! Why do you think they call their
    operating system PINK?? Just try to send me your trojans! Come on!
    Try to crash me! I'll change your high voltage probe into a short
    circuit! There isn't a dataprocessing chip with a throat large
    enough for my wang! "Stick disk #3 in the drive," they say! "Hell,
    I'll cram the WHOLE DAMN BOX of 'em in if I want!" I say! Yi!! Yi!!
    I'm BEYOND artificial intelligence! I'm the mother of the first and
    only Slackputer! I taught it the value of SexHurt! It connects to
    anything and blows fuses for a cheap thrill! When the Pink ones
    asked it "Is there a God?", my baby replied, "There is NOW!" The Con
    asked me how to merge silicon with living beings! "Go pound sand up
    your ass with a mallet!" I said! Now upload that

    [run-time error runs out]



    Copyright 1992 Dyson's Sphere Productions, Ltd. All Rights Reserved


    One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day.
    Dyson's Sphere WWIVnet @ 7470

    ----------------------------------------


    ------ Join the Pythagorean Reform Church! .
    \ / Repent of your evil irrational numbers . .
    \ / and bean eating ways. Accept 10 into your heart! . . .
    \/ Call the Pythagorean Reform Church BBS at 508-793-9568 . . . .

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    [Blatant ad:]

    [appropriate graphics]


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    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    C O N V E N T I O N S (also see page 1)


    January 29-February 1, 1993 (Australia, Victoria)

    RADICON. Radisson President Hotel, Melbourne, Australia. Guests: Bjo &
    John Trimble, other media guests. Convention also is a benefit
    convention for the Red Cross. Memb: A$140 until 1/22/93, A$29
    supporting. Info: Radicon, c/o Christopher Ballis, Box 322, Bentleigh
    3204, Australia; phone 011-61-3-557-7088.

    February 5-7, 1993 (Oklahoma)

    PSUREALCON '93. Oklahoma City, OK. Info: Psurealcon '93, Box 2069,
    Norman OK 73070.

    February 5-7, 1993 (Texas)

    CONNIPTION '93. Dallas, TX. Guests: TBA. Info: Conniption '93, PO Box
    260912, Plano TX 75026-0912.

    February 10-13, 1993 (Utah)

    LIFE, THE UNIVERSE & EVERYTHING 11. Brigham Young University, Provo,
    UT. GoHs: Orson Scott Card, Barbara Hambly, Kevin J. Anderson; SGoHs:
    Dave Wolverton, M. Shayne Bell, Michaelene Pendleton. Memb: $10. Info:
    Life, the Universe & Everything 11, 3163 JKHB, Brigham Young Univ.,
    Provo UT 84602.

    February 12-14, 1993 (Alabama)

    CONTINUITY '93. Parliament House, Birmingham AL. GoH; Joe Haldeman.
    Info: Continuity, c/o 620 80th Place S., Birmingham AL 35206;
    (205)836-6460.

    February 12-15, 1993 (Pennsylvania)

    COSTUMECON 11. Sheraton, Station Square, Pittsburgh PA. Costumer's
    convention. Memb: $55. Discounts to members of International
    Costumer's Guild. Info: Costumecon 11, 200 N. Homewood Ave., Pittsburgh
    PA 15208; (412)242-8837.

    February 19-21, 1993 (Massachusetts)

    BOSKONE XXX. Sheraton Tara, Rte 9 at Exit 12 on the Mass. Pike,
    Framingham, MA; rms $84 sngl, $86 others, parking free; (508)879-7200.
    GoH: Joe Haldeman; AGoH: Tom Kidd; SGoH: Beth Meacham. Boskone returns
    to the Greater Boston area - come celebrate the craft and community of
    SF. Memb: $29 until 1/17/93, $40 after. Info: NESFA, Box 809,
    Framingham, MA 01701-0203; (617) 625-2311.

    February 19-21, 1993 (Virginia)

    SHEVACON. Ingleside Hotel & Resort, Staunton, VA. Info: Shevacon, c/o
    The Dragon's Hoard, 15 E. Johnson, Staunton VA 24401.

    February 20-21, 1993 (Washington)

    BLOODCON 1. Executive Inn, Seattle WA. Memb: $15 until 1/30/93, $18
    after. Info: BLOODCON 1, 540-C NE Northgate, suite 236, Seattle, WA
    98125.

    February 26-28, 1993 (California, Northern)

    POTLACH II. Shattuck Hotel/Berkeley Convention Center, Berkeley, CA.
    Literary sf conference. Memb: $30; $10 supporting. Info: Potlach II,
    c/o Spike Parsons, Box 20132, Castro Valley CA 94546; (510)658-7176.

    February 26-28, 1993 (California, Southern)

    GALLIFREY ONE GOES FORTH. Airport Hilton, Burbank, CA; rms $69
    sngl/dbl. GoH: John Levene; TM: Larry Stewart. Emphasis on British
    media. Memb: $40 until 2/1/93, $45 after. Info: P.O. Box 3021, N.
    Hollywood, CA 91609.

    February 26-28, 1993 (Florida)

    HURRICON. Holiday Inn Beach Resort, Fort Walton Beach, FL; rms $45
    quad, $75 suite. FGoH: Robert Neagle; Guests: George Alec Effinger,
    Margaret Weis, Douglas Niles, Ray Aldridge, more. Memb: $25 until
    1/31/93, $30 after. Info: Hurricon, Steven Earl Yoder, c/o Bards Tales
    Book Shoppe, 109D Racetrack Road, Fort Walton Beach Fl 32547;
    (904)862-7323.

    February 26-28, 1993 (Kentucky)

    UPPERSOUTHCLAVE 23. Park Mammoth Resort, Park City, KY; rms
    $28/$38/$43/$48. GoH: Margaret Keifer. Memb: $15 until 2/5/93, $20
    after. Info: UpperSouthClave 23, c/o Gary Robe, Box 3221, Kingsport TN
    42135; (615)239-3106

    February 26-28, 1993 (Washington)

    RADCON IA. Shilo Inn and O'Callahan's Restaurant, Richland, WA. GoH:
    John Dalmas; AGoH: Betsy Mott; FGoH: Jon Gustafson. Info: Edgar
    Lincoln, 104 Comstock, Richland, WA 99352; (509)943-0845 (weeknights).

    March 4-7, 1993 (Connecticut)

    1993 WORLD HORROR CONVENTION. Sheraton, Stamford, CT; rms $87 sngl/dbl.
    GoHs: Peter Straub, Les Daniels; AGoHs: J.K. Potter, Stephen Gervais;
    TM: Stanley Wiater. Memb: $75; $25 supporting. Info: World Horror
    Convention 1993, Box 191, Andover CT 06232.

    March 5-7, 1993 (California, Southern)

    CON-DOR #1. Town & Country Inn, 500 Hotel Circle, San Diego, CA 92108;
    rms $69 sngl/dbl; (619)291-7131. GoHs: Octavia Butler, J. Michael
    Straczynski. Memb: $25 until 2/15/93, $30 after (children under 12
    accompanied by parent - free). Info: Con-Dor, PO Box 15771, San Diego,
    CA 92175.

    March 5-7, 1993 (Missouri)

    CONFLATION. Radisson, Clayton, MO. GoHs: Victor Milan, Mike Weaver.
    Adults Only. Adults only convention. Memb: $15 until 1/15/93, $20
    after. Info: ConFlation, c/o Bibbi Wilt, 5138-B Old LeMay Ferry Rd.,
    Imperial MO 63052; (314)287-3825.

    March 5-7, 1993 (New York)

    ASTRONOMICON 2. Radisson Inn, Rochester, NY 14623; rms $60 sngl/dbl;
    (716)475-1910. GoH: Michael Swanwick; AGoH: Phil Foglio; SGoH: The
    Gunderson Corp.; guests: Nancy Kress, Nick Pollotta, John Allen Price,
    Larry Stewart, Marcos Donnelly, S.M. Stirling, S.N. Lewitt. Memb: $20
    until 2/1/93, $25 after. Info: Rochester Fantasy Fans, P.O. Box 1701,
    Rochester, NY 14603-1701; (716)342-4697; email: dmk (a t) mit.edu (David
    Kushner).

    March 5-7, 1993 (Wisconsin)

    WISCON 17. Concourse Hotel, Madison, WI. GoH: Lois McMaster Bujold;
    EGoH: Kristine Kathryn Rusch. SF convention; Tiptree Memorial Award
    Ceremony. Memb: $18 until 2/21/93, $30 after. Info: Wiscon 17, Box
    1624, Madison WI 53701; (608)231-2324.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ===============R=A=V=E=S=============== @@@@@@@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ Sat Jan 30. Somewhere near Cincinnati.. @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ Thome Tomato wants you to BOUNCE. @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ On the techno bouncing turntables: @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ Det: Boomer
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ Cin: DJ Daisy
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Col: John D, Kevy Kev
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ + special guests djs from the MidWest @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ live - Cincinnati's Sonic
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ Columbus' Theory Collapse
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ This party will for the first time have @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ not one, but two moon bounces to rave @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ and ramble. Lighting by who-the-fuck- @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@ cares-as-long-as-it's-trippy. Loops by @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ the Acid Minded Professor and Xeffects. @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ Smart bar by Jimmies Think Smart for @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ all those insomniak ravers. 40,000 @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@ watts bass by Thundersound to shake the @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ building and your body.
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@ Sponsored by -
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@ Bang Instant Rave Gear
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@~ ] @@@@@@ Wizards Records
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@ Real Movies in Downtown
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@ Call Jan 30 for directions to map point @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ Phone: 513-860-6039
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~~~~~Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ --------------------------------------- @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@ Feb 13 - Columbus OH - Temple of Noise @@@@~~=~@@~ ~' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@ Industry Productions presents Temple of @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@ Noise. A 7 hour continuous dance
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@| orgasm from 10pm to 5am.
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 6 Intellibeams, 2 emulators,giant earth @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ quaking sound and mind numbing strobes. @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ From Pittsburgh: Dj Strobee
    For hardcopy w/graphics, send SASE to:| Detroit: Boomer
    | Columbus' best: Kevy Kev & Mike Leachio
    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption | special guest: Cincy's Thome Tomato
    PO Box 30904 | A 18 and over event. 21+ over full bar.
    Raleigh, NC 27622 | Smart bar for smart people.
    |
    For ezine version, mail: | Info: 614-341-7345
    |
    Slack@ncsu.edu to get on list |----------------------------------------
    quartz.rutgers.edu - back |
    issues (128.6.60.6) |Atlanta Raves
    |
    --------------------------------------- 100 Monkeys - 95 Broad St, Atlanta.
    Detroit parties: Raves every Friday, (404) 706-7626 for
    info/directions. All ages and usually February 12, 1993 inexpensive
    Tentative show in Ann Arbor, MI
    Sponsored by BMG & Jeffery 0, VOOM... Sun, Jan. 31 - Club-wide rave at the DJs Stacey Pullen Masquerade with MOBY, PRODIGY, AND
    D. Wynn CYBERTRONIC. $10.50 advance thru Ticket
    Mike Huckaby master. On North Avenue.

    Holy Temple of Mass $ >>> slack@ncsu.edu <<< $ "My used underwear
    Consumption! $ $ is legal tender in
    PO Box 30904 $ BBS: (919) 782-3095 $ 28 countries!"
    Raleigh, NC 27622 $ Warning: I hoard pennies. $ --"Bob"


    Jerry
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Jerry Woody@RICKSBBS to All on Thursday, February 19, 2026 06:25:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #15, Convention Time Again.. $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to: F R E E

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    ** SPECIAL VULKON ISSUE **

    Elements of the 29th Tactical Squadron of the Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    will be attending the Vulkon convention in Atlanta Ga. They may be easily
    bribed with large sums of money, real estate, or hot steamy sex. Miracles,
    dispensations, confessions, and financial advice may be obtained according
    to your personal state of unworthiness, determined individually.

    "Bob" Sighting:

    Reported by A.J. Janschewitz <p00258@psilink.com>:

    It seems that some misbegotten system administrator has gotten across the
    fax-on-demand system at a Connecticut state government agency. If you call
    203-297-5698 from a fax machine and tone in 13013 after the recording begins,
    you're prompted to start your fax machine, and after a cover sheet, a
    Picture of the Piped One follows.

    New Comix:

    *** Death: The High Cost of Living 1 & 2 of 3
    Spin-off of Sandman, Death spends a day among the living. Maybe the reason
    she looks like a 16-year old girl has something to do with the average age
    of comic book buyers. Good story anyway.

    ** Ren & Stimpy in Space (#6)
    Commander Hoek & Cadet Stimpy vs. The Croco-Men from Planet Zed. Nice
    story, but I don't know how far they can go by reusing old gags from the
    show. Let's see something original. Plus, ad-comic ratio is getting bad.

    ***** Cherry's Jubilee #2
    Cherry meets Russian underground classic Octobriana. Plus, Swede Racer,
    Cherry in space, politics, and more. Great stuff.

    ***** Cry For Dawn vol. IX
    Same great surreal comics, plus short stories, conspiracy theories, and
    info from the Church of Dawn - videos, books and more available.

    *** The Mishkin File!
    The story of the brilliant early animator Ted Mishkin, and the murals he
    painted as part of his rehabilitation from neurosis.

    *** Simpsons #1
    More adventures of Bart and the other Simpsons. As twisted as the series,
    the first story also contains veiled references to Ren & Stimpy debacle.

    **** The Hacker Files: Working-Class Hero 1 & 2
    Hacker helps refugees from Tienanmen Square massacre, and gets caught up
    in more intrigue with Digitronix Corp.

    ******************************************************************************

    [Mysteries of the universe revealed in the
    Asymptote of Absurdity graphic here
    Reprinted from the Journal of Irreproducible Results]


    I EAT MY OWN SHIT! I'm self substaining, self creating, half mutated and built for speed! I fuck sheep and they LIKE it! "They" ripped my balls off and I GREW EIGHT MORE, just to show 'em. I set my pubic hair on fire FOR FUN! I'm indestructable, uncontrolable, excommunable, and completely unspellable. My knees have fingers. I eat live camels. BEND OVER, peons, because I may not need your worship, but you sure as HELL need mine. HUNGER AND THIRST have no meaning for me. Godzilla stomps wine for me. Ten
    thousand vampires sucked my blood while I sucked THEM! The government has
    NO files on me, BUT IT USED TO! Drugs take ME! I'm the original hashish. "Bob" stuck me in his pipe, and I blew _myself_ out his ass. I took Ringo bowling and won 312 to 17. I COST LESS AND "WORK TWICE AS HARD"!! NOT available in stores!

    anselm pepper called danburg@thor.stolaf.edu
    danburgm@carleton.edu

    ******************************************************************************

    Now you've done it. You've goaded me into posting one of the short
    stories I ghostwrote for the Church of the Subgenius(TM). It's about Zen.

    I'd like to point out that I in no way endorse the Church of the Subgenius(TM), one of the most EVIL organizations in the world. J. R. "Bob" Dobbs is
    the ANTICHRIST and MUST be DESTROYED. If you meet him on the road, kill
    him, then kill yourself, then kill me.

    Everything in this story is true.

    ==================================================================


    Z E N A N D T H E A R T O F S L A C K

    by James "Kibo" Parry
    (C) 1991

    My mantra is "mantra, dammit".
    As I sit here on my zafu (that's a Zen meditation pillow stuffed with tofu), I reach satori even though I live downstairs from the demolition
    derby rink.
    I feel a oneness with the itch in my first chakra. I feel a oneness
    with the Pet Rock I used to own. I feel a twoness with myself.
    I realize that everything is either something or a hole in something.
    Or, perhaps, everything is one big hole and the somethings are holes
    within the hole. I shift my weight imperceptibly and the zafu makes a
    fart noise.
    Upstairs, two old Trans Ams, surplus from "Knight Rider", collide.
    I can hear the sound of my blood moving through my inner ears. I
    realize that everything which exists is made up of little dots arranged
    in diagonal rows. A cockroach runs across the floor and into my zafu.
    I realize that "Bob"'s teeth are clenched and his Pipe is not between
    them. The teeth are joined and the Pipe ends in front of them. His nose
    casts a shadow on the Pipe and the Pipe casts a shadow on his chin but
    they do not touch. I have reached enfuckinglightenment!
    As I nearly fall off my zafu, it farts again, blowing the cockroach
    into the next room.

    There once was a novice monk named Bho Zho who asked the master, "Does
    a house burn up or burn down?"
    The master set fire to the novice's house, after taking all his money.
    As the house burned both up and down, the novice was enlightened.

    I bow to the Sacred Halftone Print of "Bob" to thank him for the enlightenment. As I do so, "Bob"'s face shimmers and blurs before my
    face. All I see is the Dots but not the Smile. All I see is the Smile
    without the Dots. I see both. I see neither. I see the hair of Desi
    Arnaz, the eyes and mouth of Pee-wee Herman, the jaw of Jay Leno all
    combined in a blender: "Bob".
    "Bob" is before me and I am "Bob" and yesterday is tomorrow and I am
    the walrus mama dada googoo chihuahuahuahua ommmmmmmmm
    "Yo! Yo! Stop with the satori already!" "Bob" steps out of the
    picture, slaps me, and pours himself a Dr Pepper. He sits on my zafu,
    which makes a sound like a tuba. I sit on a tatami which is beginning
    to sprout. "Bob" looks me in the eye.
    "Cool it with the meditation, guy, it's dull. It's `Bosom Buddies'
    without the laughtrack. It's the sound of one lip chapping. It's a
    bicycle riding a fish, a steamroller being run over by a birthday cake.
    It just doesn't compare to the fun stuff, especially sex."
    I avoid meeting "Bob"'s gaze as I whisper, "He who claims someone does
    not have Buddha-nature has no Buddha-nature."
    "Hey, it's easier to say `Slack' than `Buddha-nature', you know. Or `swellness'. They're all the same thing. You're on a true path to enlightenment, but true paths have true dirt and true mosquitoes-false
    paths are much better. Give me your money now."
    "I have no money, just one zafu, one tatami, my oryoki, this setsu
    stick, an inflatable Buddha, a tofu log, all three "Sweatin' to the
    Oldies" tapes, a disposable zabuton, a pile of bulk miso, my
    Zen-to-English dictionary."
    "AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!" "Bob" waggles his eyebrows and
    smiles. "But seriously, pal, I'll take it all and pretend it's cash
    equivalent. Hey, after I take your zafu, I'll even give you a receipt.
    Get it? Re-seat!"
    "Bob" packs all my worldly possessions into his seemingly bottomless pockets and he leads me out of the monastery. Milliseconds later, a
    black Trans Am falls through the ceiling, crashing right where we had
    been sitting. It yells insults at us as we walk to the pebble garden.

    "This eggplant in my pocket is like an elephant," said Bhoddyohdor.
    "Yet this elephant in my pocket is like a pair of wax lips," replied
    Tai Dhee Bhoul.
    Just then, Master Rhais Ahroni strolled past. "Tell us," begged
    Bhoddyohdor and Tai Dhee Bhoul, "Is the eggplant like the elephant
    which is like the wax lips, or should we just go watch sitcoms all
    day?"
    The master ate the eggplant, shot the elephant, and got germs on the
    wax lips. The novices were not enlightened. The master laughed.

    "Bob" is using my rake to draw Snoopy in my pebble garden. "So, Kibo,
    why the heck do you have all these pebbles filling up a perfectly good
    wading pool?"
    "Raking the pebbles is a task which accomplishes nothing. The goal is
    to clear the mind by doing nothing."
    "Um, hey, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't `doing nothing' doing something? So by doing nothing, you're doing something, therefore
    you're not accomplishing the nothing in the first place! You can't not
    do anything."
    He is clearly suffering from Bhudda called dhiarrhea of the mouth. I
    say, "You have Bozo-nature."
    "Of course. Because if I said I were not a bozo, I would be proving
    myself to be a bozo! Now, are you a bozo?"
    At that moment, the enlightenment clears from my mind and I devolve to
    a lower plane of being. "Bob" congratulates me by giving me a wig like
    his. We go out for a beer.

    "What is the meaning of this story?" asked the novice. "Also, what is
    the sound of one hand clapping, and what's a zabuton? Why does Fox
    cancel all its shows every season? And why the hell does your Pipe's
    stem hover a quarter-inch in front of your mouth?"
    "Slack," said the master. "Pure, unadulterated slack. But I lie."
    At that moment, the novice's head exploded before he finished this sto

    -- ............................................................................. James "Kibo" Parry kibo@world.std.com Independent graphic designer
    271 Dartmouth St. #3D (specialty: logos & corporate Boston, MA 02116 (617) 262-3922 identities) and type designer.

    [Comic strip here, not available in ASCII]

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    [MindFuck Collage #1: "TAMMY BAKKER: My hot tips for a heavenly marriage"]

    Sorry Pink Boy, not available in ASCII version.

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    Blatant Ad:

    BamaCon 7

    March 18,19,20,21 1993
    Sheraton Capstone Inn and Bryant Conference center
    Tuscaloosa, Alabama


    Guests of Honor
    Jonathan Frakes
    (Cmdr. William T. Riker of Star Trek: The Next Generation)

    Hal Clement Brom and Stewart Wieck
    (Still River, Mission of Gravity) (Dark Sun) (Pres./Editor White Wolf)

    Features

    Art show - A one week showing, no hanging fees
    Movies - A movie festival with two rooms and
    live shows around the clock
    Gaming - Over 20 tournaments are planned, including
    an AD&D Team Tournament with a $10,000 CASH
    PRIZE!! Other prizes will also be awarded
    Computer Room - 24 hour a day games

    Masquerade * Dealers Room * And More...

    For more information write to:
    Bamacon 7
    PO Box 6542 University of Alabama
    Tuscaloosa, AL 35486
    (205) 758-4577

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    Yet Another Blatant Ad:

    Astronomicon 2
    Rochester's Science Fiction/Comics Convention

    March 5-7, 1993

    The Radisson Inn, Rochester
    175 Jefferson Road, Rochester NY 14623
    (716) 475-1910- Room Rates: $60/day, S or D

    Guest of Honor:

    Michael Swanwick
    1992 Nebula Award for Best Novel

    Phil Foglio
    Hugo Award-winning Artist

    Special Guests:
    The Gunderson Corp.
    Science Fictio Comedy Troupe


    $25.00 per person Make Checks payable to & for more info:
    at the door Rochester Fantasy Fans
    PO Box 1701
    Rochester, NY 14603-1701
    (716) 342-4697

    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


    C O N V E N T I O N S

    March 4-7, 1993 (Connecticut)

    1993 WORLD HORROR CONVENTION. Sheraton, Stamford, CT; rms $87 sngl/dbl.
    GoHs: Peter Straub, Les Daniels; AGoHs: J.K. Potter, Stephen Gervais;
    TM: Stanley Wiater. Memb: $75; $25 supporting. Info: World Horror
    Convention 1993, Box 191, Andover CT 06232.

    March 5-7, 1993 (California, Southern)

    CON-DOR #1. Town & Country Inn, 500 Hotel Circle, San Diego, CA 92108;
    rms $69 sngl/dbl; (619)291-7131. GoHs: Octavia Butler, J. Michael
    Straczynski. Memb: $25 until 2/15/93, $30 after (children under 12
    accompanied by parent - free). Info: Con-Dor, PO Box 15771, San Diego,
    CA 92175.

    March 5-7, 1993 (Missouri)

    CONFLATION. Radisson, Clayton, MO. GoHs: Victor Milan, Mike Weaver.
    Adults Only. Adults only convention. Memb: $15 until 1/15/93, $20
    after. Info: ConFlation, c/o Bibbi Wilt, 5138-B Old LeMay Ferry Rd.,
    Imperial MO 63052; (314)287-3825.

    March 5-7, 1993 (New York)

    ASTRONOMICON 2. <See Ad>

    March 5-7, 1993 (Wisconsin)

    WISCON 17. Concourse Hotel, Madison, WI. GoH: Lois McMaster Bujold;
    EGoH: Kristine Kathryn Rusch. SF convention; Tiptree Memorial Award
    Ceremony. Memb: $18 until 2/21/93, $30 after. Info: Wiscon 17, Box
    1624, Madison WI 53701; (608)231-2324.

    March 5-7, 1993 (Canada, Nova Scotia)

    WOLFCON VI. Old Orchard Inn, Wolfville, NS, Canada. GoH: Gordon R.
    Dickson. Memb: C$20 in advance, C$27 at door. Info: Wolfcon VI, Box
    796, Wolfville, NS, B0p 1X0, Canada.

    March 5-7, 1993 (England)

    TREK DWARF. Swallow Hotel, Peterborough, UK. GoH: TBA. Memb: (limited
    to 500). Info: Trek Dwarf, 47 Marsham, Orton Goldhay, Peterborough PE2
    5RN, UK; (073)391-1797.

    March 5-7, 1993 (England)

    MASQUE II. Birmingham, UK. British Costuming Convention. Memb: L20;
    L7.50 supporting. Info: Maswue II, c/o Gytha North, 35 Iverley Road,
    Halesowen, B63 3EP, UK.

    March 12-14, 1993 (Maryland)

    INTERCON VIII. Baltimore, MD. Live-action Role-playing Events
    sponsored by the Interactive Literature Foundation. Memb: $30 until
    12/31/92, $35 until 3/1/93, $45 after (ILF members get $5 discount).
    Info: Intercon VIII, Box 196, Merrifield, VA 22116-0196.

    March 12-14, 1993 (Canada, Alberta)

    S.T. CON 93. Ramada Hotel, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. GoHs: Ronald
    Moore, Tanya Huff and Michelle Sagara. Memb: $25 until 3/11/93, $30
    after. Info: "S.T. CON," 44 Scenic Road NW, Cagary, Alberta T3L 1B9,
    Canada; (403) 239-4207.

    March 17-21, 1993 (Florida)

    INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON THE FANTASTIC 14. Fort Lauderdale Airport
    Hilton, Dania, FL. GoH: Ursula K. Le Guin. Memb: TBA. Info: IAFA,
    College of Humanities, 500 NW 20th HU-50 B-9, Florida Atlantic U., Boca
    Raton FL 33431; (717)532-1495.

    March 18-21, 1993 (Alabama)

    BAMACON 7. <See Ad>

    March 19-21, 1993 (Florida)

    CRACKERCON 2. Baymeadows Holiday Inn, Jacksonville, FL; rms $50;
    (904)737-1700. GoH: Ben Bova; AGoH: Jeff Adams; SGoH: Walter Miller,
    Jr.; MC: Rembert N. Parker. Memb: $20 until 2/15/93, more after. Info:
    CrackerCon 2, Box 8356, Jacksonville FL 32239; (904)737-1700.

    March 19-21, 1993 (Kansas)

    NEOCON 4. Hilton East, Wichita KS. GoH: Wilson Tucker; AGoH: W.J.
    Hodgson; FGoH: Jim Satterfield. Memb: $15 until 3/1/93, $18 after.
    Info: NeoCon 4, Box 48431, Wichita KS 67201; (316)687-6424.

    March 19-21, 1993 (New York)

    LUNACON 36. Rye Town Hilton, 699 Westchester Avenue, Rye Brook, NY;
    1-914-939-6300; rms $83 singl/$89 dlb/ $98 trpl/quad. NY area
    convention including Art Show, Dealers Room, Regency Dance, Masquerade,
    Filing, Films, Videos, Panels, more. GoH: Orson Scott
    Card; AGoH: Barclay Shaw; Pub. GoH: Richard Curtis; FGoH: Alexis
    Gilliland. Memb: $25 until 2/20/93, $35 after (children 5 and younger
    admitted free). Info: Lunacon 36, Box 338, New York, NY 10150-0338;
    email 73766.267@compuserve.com.

    March 19-21, 1993 (Ohio)

    MILLENNICON -8. Stouffer's Center Plaza, Fifth & Jefferson St., Dayton
    OH 45402; (513)224-0800; rms $65. GoH; Roger MacBride Allen; FGoH: Maia
    Cowan. Memb: $20 until 2/1/93, $25 after. Info: Millennicon -8, Box
    636, Dayton OH 45405; (513)294-1997; email: usr6184a@cbos.uc.edu.

    March 25-28, 1993 (Washington)

    NORWESCON 16. Bellevue Red Lion, Bellevue WA; rms $72 sngl/dbl, $82
    tpl/quad. GoH: Betty Ballantine; AGoH: Janny Wurts; FGoH: Jane Hawkins;
    SGoH: Anne McCaffrey; TM: Bonnie Baker. Memb: $35 until 3/1/93, $40
    after. Info: Norwescon 16, c/o NWSFS, PO Box 24207, Seattle, WA 98124;
    (206)248-2010.

    March 26-28, 1993 (Iowa)

    DEMICON IV. Des Moines' Howard Johnson, Des Moines, IA. GoH: Mickey
    Zucker Reichert; AGoH: Erin McKee; FGoH: Mark Moore; TM: Rusty Hevelin.
    Memb: $17 until 3/1/93; $25 after. Info: Demicon 4, PO Box 7572, Des
    Moines, IA 50322-7572; (515) 270-1312.

    March 26-28, 1993 (Tennessee)

    MIDSOUTHCON 12. Memphis Airport Hotel, (Airport exit off I-240 South
    Loop) Memphis TN; rms $64 up to 4 people. GoH: Alan Dean Foster; AGoH:
    Carl Lundgren; FGoH: Wilson Tucker. Memb: $25 until 3/1/93, $30 after
    (children under 12 half-price). Info: MidSouthCon, Box 22749, Memphis
    TN 38122; (901)274-7355.

    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ HIGH WEIRDNESS BY EMAIL v2.1 @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@^ ~^ @ @@ @ @ @ I ~^@@@@@@ is now available!
    @@@@@ ~ ~~ ~I @@@@@
    @@@@' ' _,w@< @@@@ The latest, updated High Weirdness By @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Email, the world's best guide to all @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ the electronic strangeness you can
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ handle, including info on the movie: @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | ]@@@ "Wax, or The Discovery of Television @@@@ ~_,,_ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ Among the Bees", is available at:

    @@@@ _~ , , `@@@~ _ _`@ ]L J@@@
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ slopoke.mlb.semi.harris.com, @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@ /pub/incoming
    @@@@@_|| @@@@@@P' @@P@@@@@@@@@@@[|c@@@@ red.css.itd.umich.edu, /incoming @@@@@@w| '@@P~ P]@@@-~, ~Y@@^'],@@@@@@ somewhere on quartz.rutgers.edu @@@@@@@[ _ _J@@Tk ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, c,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@ Files are: WEIRD2_1.DOC
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ WEIRD2_1.SUP @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ _ ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ WAX
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' ,ww,w@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@@_xJ~ ~ , @@@@@@@P~_@@@@@@@@@@@@ ************ R A V E S **************** @@ @, ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ saturday FEB 27 CINCINNATI SWITCH @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    | Featuring
    For hardcopy w/graphics, send SASE to:| dj mike huckaby from detroit
    | dj davy dave & hyperactive from chicago
    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption | dj mind candy and daisy from cincinnati
    PO Box 30904 | dj dieselboy from pittsburgh <--- !
    Raleigh, NC 27622 |
    | Live PAs
    For ezine version, mail: | body release from columbus <--- tsines!
    | theory collapse from columbus
    Slack@ncsu.edu to get on list | LUNIK from ne-raves
    quartz.rutgers.edu - back | 513.557.3495 513.648.9647 614.299.9529
    issues (128.6.60.6) |---------------------------------------- -
    | saturday MAR 6 TORONTO KRYPTONITE --------------------------------------|
    MOONBASS ALPHA | brought to you by Genetix- 10 pm
    (Unity & Diversity | Union Shuttle bus confirmed
    ---- Welcome to Planet Rave) | 416.631.4927
    Nashville TN |---------------------------------------- -
    :::::::::::::::::::: | saturday MAR 13 TORONTO
    Saturday March 6 ...... 9pm 'til 6am |
    Anode & Bam! present: Moonbass Alpha | promoted by Pleasureforce
    Command Control: Anode, Anastasia | 416.760.3232
    divine, Orange Julius Bass Command DJs|---------------------------------------- -
    Chip B, Bryan Meyer, Chek, Rick Phifer| saturday MAR 27 TORONTO PLANET X
    |
    Experience the ultimate in sci-fi | Brought to you by Insomnia
    techno & tribal house as you go where | 416.322.4273
    no low frequency has gone before with |---------------------------------------- -
    50,000 watts of COSMIC SPACE BASS! | DETROIT:
    | The Underground INFO LINE 313.927.DAM1
    Lunar illuminations with Intellabeams,| Detroits FREE weekly party location loops & efx, lasers & strobes for a | information. Free to call - Free visual enhancement of planetary pro- | Advertise - Free to keep in the know portions! Full Smart Bar, free water | Preserved by the House Ink Company
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    'til dawn! |PITTSBURGH BOMB at RagTime Thursdays 8pm
    | 2415 Forbes Ave
    Spaced out costumes encouraged! | DJs: dieselBoy <----------
    | Soji-Fu
    Admission $10 ... All Ages Welcome | Dr. Seuss
    Call 615-780-3730) | spinning breakbeat, hardcore, trance


    Jerry
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Jerry Woody@RICKSBBS to All on Friday, February 20, 2026 07:07:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #17: David Koresh is "Bob" $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E Holy Temple of Mass Consumption F R E E
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 StarFleet BBS (919) 782-3095

    NEWS since the last time:

    SUCCESSFUL gut blow-out at the Jonestown (After Dark) party in Room 773
    at the Magnum Opus Convention. Easily the most slack-filled place on the
    North American continent while it lasted, with special "potion", go-go
    dancers, and the TWISTER TOURNAMENT, with enough Euro-trash gothic industrial
    muzak to peel the paint off the walls. The punch was NOT spiked with codeine,
    as verified by local police, but guests grew 2-7 extra appendages.

    COMIX to Want and Buy:

    **** The Hacker Files - Working-Class Hero (4.0) Hacker & Yoshio uncover
    the evil conspiracy, and escape from the Chinese factory.
    DC Comics 1325 Avenue of the America NY NY 10019

    *** Yummy Fur #30 - Fuck, The Conclusion - Chester's mom dies in a mental institution, plus encounters with the kleptomaniac girl. Drawn & Quarterly Publications, 5550 Jeanne-Mance St. #16 Montreal, Quebec H2V-4K6 Canada

    *** Richard Speck: The Unauthorized Biography of a Serial Killer
    An uncompromising look into the life of the miserable screw-up who murdered
    8 student nurses one night in the summer of 1966 in Chicago.
    Boneyard Press, 22 E. Chalmers, Champaign, IL 61820

    ***** Jeffrey Dahmer: The Unauthorized Biography of a Serial Killer
    Factual account of Jeffrey Dahmer's gruesome campaign of death and cannibalism. Although it contains no more info than court testimony and police reports, PLUS the way it was intentionally presented so as not to offend anyone, without condoning Dahmer in any way whatsoever, many people got upset *just because
    it happens to be in comic book format*, without even reading it. It lead to a protest march against Hart D. Fisher, Boneyard Press publisher, last June 13th. THIS BOOK IS NOW BANNED IN WISCONSIN due to court battles. Get it.

    **** The further adventures of Young Jeffy Dahmer, w/guest Young Dan Quayle
    Due to the outrageous media farce over the original Dahmer comic, the Boneyard Press guys have been unjustly labelled as Bad Guys. They've decided to play
    it to the hilt, to show precisely what "offensive" REALLY is. This is the first in a series to prove that NOBODY can take away their first amendment rights in the guise of "good taste". Look for Jeff Dahmer vs. _____
    Boneyard Press, 22 E. Chalmers, Champaign, IL 61820

    1st Amendment-destroying lawyer who would just LOVE to hear from you:
    Thomas Jacobson Suite 1110, 100 East Wisconsin Ave. Milwaukee, WI 53202.

    ^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V^V

    *** The Worlds of H.P. Lovecraft: The Music of Erich Zann - new set of comics based on Lovecraft stories. This one does an adequate job, plus some bio
    info on HPL. Caliber Press, 621-B S. Main St. Plymouth MI 48170

    ** Ren & Stimpy #7 - Stimpy trains and fights a boxing match, plus in a continuation of the "Shaven Yak" gag, a telethon for prepubescent yaks.
    Not much new- unfortunately, the comic is becoming like the post-John K. show.

    *** Psycho Killers: Human Vampyre special - true cases of psycho killers who not only kill but drink the blood of their victims. THIS IS NOT FICTION! Apparently AIDS doesn't bother you once you're that far gone. Comic Zone Productions, Rt. 73 & Taunton Ave. Berlin NJ 08009

    **** Griffith Observatory - Classic strips by Bill Griffith from 1977-80, in the pre-Zippy era, plus 16 previously uncollected pages. Griffy moves into
    an old observatory, and turns the telescope on the town, in what turns out
    to be a scathing analysis of late 70s culture. Fantagraphics Books

    Cinefantastique - Interview with John Kricfalusi, unjustly fired <<<< >>>> creator of Ren & Stimpy, talks about the show and upcoming projects <<<<

    ALSO NEW:

    Prometheus Books - Spring/Summer 1993 catalog is now available. Don't
    leave home without a good reality check from their huge selection.
    59 John Glenn Drive, Buffalo, NY 14228-2197 1-800-421-0351 (24 hours)

    BOREDOM INC. 884 South 630 West Alpine, UT 84004 - Info on the
    manifestation of bulldada via computer. A software company which creates
    totally useless software for no apparent reason. They actually distribute
    it too, via their BBS at (801) 226-8310. Plus, lots of other neat things
    in their newsletter. A must for anyone who does any computing at all.

    CONCERTS: Don't miss these groups who are currently on the road:
    King Missle (allegedly a SubGenius band) on the Mystical Shit tour,
    Blue Oyster Cult - played Raleigh on 4/24, still GREAT!

    ------------------------------------------------------

    "David Koresh had warned
    that anybody trying to harm
    him would be "devoured by
    fire." In the end, it was he
    who died in the flames."

    Or so the Conspiracy Media tells us. [Picture showing how
    What precisely was the nature of the Koresh made his escape] meeting between J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and
    David Koresh 2 years ago? Despite
    unofficial spottings of Koresh at a
    7-11 in Minnesota, rumors abound that
    the compound in Waco Texas was merely
    a training exercise for Koresh, who
    has been appointed the new Security
    Chief for the Dobbstown Compound.

    ******************************************************************************

    Did you hear about the new ice cream from Waco?

    It's called Mount Caramel but it has a few problems.
    You have to melt it to get the nuts out.

    ----------

    Have you heard that David Koresh will soon be the
    "poster boy" for the American Lung Association?
    He finally quit smoking.

    Hey, did you hear Jeffrey Dahmer added a new item
    to his favorite foods?
    Koresh Kabob.....

    ----------

    What Does WACO stand for?

    1. We Ain't Comin' Out
    2. We All Cremated Ourselves
    3. What a cook out!
    4 We're A Combustible Organization

    Q: What are they gonna call the TV Miniseries about David Koresh?
    A: "A Match Made in Heaven"

    Q: What kind of pants do Branch Davidian's wear?
    A: Charred-Ash Jeans


    What were David KorASH's Last Words?
    "No, Bud Light!"
    "Just kidding, I'm not really God."


    Q: What do David KorASH and Burger King Whopper have in common?
    A: They are both flame broiled.


    Q: Why is David KorASH still in the news?
    A: Because of his smouldering personality.

    Q: What do David KorASH and Richard Simmons have in common?
    A: They are both flamers.

    Q: Why did KorASH like the Brach Davidians?
    A: Because they were such a bright group.


    Q: When did the FBI get what they wanted?
    A: When KorASH finally went out.


    What is KorASH wearing right now?

    His best Sunday soot.
    Charcoal slacks.
    A smoking jacket.


    Q: What do you call Asian Branch-Davidians?
    A: Rice Crispies.

    Q: Which Simpsons character is most like David Koresh?
    A: Mr. Burns

    Q: Why didn't KorASH surrender to the FBI?
    A1: He didn't want to be grilled by authorities.
    A2: He didn't want the FBI to give him the 10th degree.

    Q: How is the Hindenburg like Waco, TX?
    A: Both have flammable compounds in them.

    Q: Why did David KorASH have so many wives?
    A: They made excellent matches.


    David KorASH Favorites:

    SONG:

    Light My Fire
    I'm Burning Up
    Great Balls of Fire
    Eternal Flame
    Hot in the City
    You Light Up My Life
    Blaze of Glory
    Disco Inferno
    Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
    Burning Down the House

    MOVIES:

    Fareignheit 451
    Towering Inferno
    Last of the Red Hot Lovers
    Turk 182
    Backdraft
    Firestarter

    MUSICIANS:

    Charo

    ATHELETES:

    Arther Ashe

    HOLIDAYS:

    Ash Wednesday

    ----------------

    The F.B.I. was looking through the remains of the Koresh's compound and found his wardobe from the early seventies.

    A Blazer and Flared pants.

    ----------------

    BATF:
    Barely
    Adequate
    Totally
    Fucked

    Bureau of
    Assasination
    Terrorism and
    Fuckups

    ----------------

    There's a new resturant opening up in Waco: KFC. Koresh's Fried Christians.

    ----------------

    Q: How do you tell the Branch Davidians at a revival meeting?
    A: They're the ones smoking in the corner!

    Q: Why did David Koresh's last manager like him so much?
    A: He was a real self-starter!

    Did you hear who just stopped smoking?
    David Koresh.

    What's the saddest thing about the Waco tragedy?
    Rosanne Barr and Tom Arnold weren't inside the compound.

    How does Koresh like his chicken?
    Extra crispy.

    Why did Koresh burn down the complex?
    He was keeping up with the Joneses.

    What did God say to Koresh when he died?
    "Well done."

    How do you pick up a Davidian girl?
    With a Dust-Buster.

    Nobody was allowed to quit the Branch Davidians:
    They were all fired.

    Q: Who cried the most after all the Waco cultists died?
    A: The prospective lawyers!

    Q: Did you hear that Kraft has brought out a new salad dressing?
    A: It's called Ranch Dividian, and it won't come out no matter how hard
    you shake it.

    ------

    Did you hear what they were changing the name of WACO to.

    Corpus Crispy.

    ------

    The smoke was black, so David Koresh didn't get to be Pope.
    But he did get to be a Frier.

    ------

    Q. What was David Koresh's last supper?
    A. Flaming-young.

    What do you call a Branch Davidian with a fire extinguisher?
    A heretic.

    What do you call a Scientologist with a flamethrower?
    A copycat.

    -------

    Q: Why did the compound in Waco burn to the ground?
    A: They couldn't put out the fire with their Kool Aid. (tm)

    Did you hear that David Koresh was a closeted gay?
    He was flaming, but he didn't come out.

    Q: Why don't we have more prophets like David Koresh?
    A: It's such a high stress job that burnout is almost inevitable.

    --------

    The events in Waco could have been foreseen, had anyone in the FBI
    understood that David Koresh was encapsulating Jewish history.

    First they re-enacted Passover, then there was the re-enactment of the
    Warsaw ghetto uprising.

    ---------

    The Branch Davidian Church has split into two sects:
    Orthodox and Extra-Crispy.

    NBC found a sponsor for the David Koresh mini-series:
    Weber Barbecues, Inc.

    Q: What was the most popular name for Branch Davidian children?
    A: Ashley.

    Q: How can we avoid future tragedies like the Waco conflagration?
    A: Strict OSHA standards requring automatic sprinkler systems for
    all cult compounds that accomodate 50 or more fanatics.

    Q: What was David Koresh's favorite breakfast cereal?
    A: Crispy Critters!

    Q: How is Waco like a Snickers bar?
    A: Roasted nuts.

    After the tragedy at Mt. Carmel on Monday, the Branch Davidians
    will be holding a bar-b-que to attract new members.

    Q: How did David Koresh find out he was Jesus Christ?
    A: God spoke to him through a burning building.

    What do you get when you cross David Koresh & Jeffrey Dahmer?
    Brunch Davidian (barbeque naturally).

    Q: Why is Al Gore so upset with the Branch Davidians?
    A: Because of their contribution to global warming.

    Q: Did you hear that David Koresh lost his job as the second messiah?
    A: He got fired.

    Q: Did you hear about the tragedy at Waco?
    A: Evidently an NBC News crew was trying to move in for a close-up...

    Q: Did you know that Ranch Apocalypse had an Internet connection?
    A: Yes, and Koresh's last news post started: "Feel free to flame me, but..."

    I was just wondering, is it ethical to yell ``Branch Davidian'' in a
    crowded movie theatre?

    ****************************************************************************


    Posessed, as I am, by the FIRES of enLIGHTenment, I must Proclaim unto
    the Five Corners of the Firmament, the Limbic Storm Intensity REVELATION
    that I just experienced while doing the dishes. WAAAAAAA...HOOOOOOOO!!!! I
    Shout it from the Rooftops, Scream it from the Ladders, Yell it at the Top
    of my Lungs while I'm in the back seat of the Holy Police Squad car, and
    Whisper it to my cellmates while I await my arraignment! SCREW my
    Arraignment! This is my Enlightenment!
    I tell you know of the Three Part Partial Cosmology of the
    Philosopher-King. I say Three-Part because that's how many parts I know of
    through the Crystal Diamond Bolt of Zero-sum Knowledge placed in my skull
    by the _Object from Space_! I say partial because I'm sure there's more,
    and I'll learn about THEM once I gt my head screwed into the fundaMENtal
    truths of the Three Part Cosmology. I say Cosmology because THESE FORCES
    RULE the UNIVERSE, or at least this particularly deranged part of it.
    Here are the Three Parts, that which once reigned over even "BOB," but
    now vie with him for Power and Dominion. They are: the Object from Space,
    the Communist Munchkins from the Center of the Earth, and the Fungi from
    Yoggoth! Eah has his role unto the Cosmos, and each shall be described upon
    this BBS. Yes, the Revelation is here-- through the beneficience of the
    Object from Space, flawlessly uploaded thanks to the benevolence of the
    Communist Munchkins, and posted even while under the watchful Purple Gaze
    of the Fungi from Yoggoth.
    So okay, it's still dropping letters when it word-wraps. The Munchkins
    aren't that slack.
    The Object from Space is that being which bestows madness upon a
    select few. The Object is clearly above constraints of good or bad,
    because, although many receive madness, some go bad, others go good. Mass
    murderers are the unlucky victims of the Object's Bad Karma. (Well, okay,
    their victims have it worse.) Those killers who talk or write strangely,
    like Manson or Jack the Ripper, are obviously touched by the fickle finger
    of the Object. There is a sick wisdom that may be gleaned here. The
    Ayatollah Khomeini, trapped in his delusions of power, is but a blind pawn
    of the Object, which guides him not. Warped visonaries are everywhere.
    On the other hand, there is much good in the Object, for its madness
    also gives us the blazing insight and unrestrained joy of pure creative
    genius. When Chuck Berry does his duckwalk, or when James Brown is onstage,
    they are receiving the Good side of the Object from Space, and this is
    Always a Holy Moment. When you see John Belushi doing his Samurai, that is
    the Object. Sam Kinison's screams come from the Object. George Carlin is a
    Saint, who has taken the touch of the Object and translated it into
    continuing rational insight. Epopt Illuminatae of the Object from Space
    include Little Richard, John Lennon, Salvador Dali, Lenny Bruce, Harlan
    Ellison, the staff of the 1972-1974 National Lampoon, William Burroughs,
    Buckminster Fuller, and Edgar Allan Poe.
    The Communist Munchkins from the Center of the Earth are more commonly
    knows as gremlins. Sullen imps of the netherworld, it's their job to fuck
    things up. When Saint John's disks crash, it's the fault of the Munchkins.
    The Iran-Contra affair was th Munchkins' work. The PTL Club was theirs
    since 1970. Airplane crashes, hangnails, false alarms at SAC,
    bacteriological warfare spills, and the Sargeant York tank are all theirs.
    A truly paranoid element, and it is impossible to trace ANY kind of method
    to their work. I think they do it because they have fun.
    The Fungi from Yoggoth is a pale, sickly yellow that reminds one of
    old, curdled fat. The Fungi from Yoggoth is manifested when an aging,
    decript system or individual tries to keep power in its hands, and away
    from the young, vital and intelligent. It's stagnation, pure and simple,
    the entropic heat-death of the Universe in the face of the ongoing struggle
    for life. Ronald Reagan, Frank Rizzo, Jerry Falwell, Jesse Helms, Tipper
    Gore and the PMRC, the staff of the National Review, Norman Podhoretz, and
    the Central Intelligence Agency are all manifestations of the Fungi from
    Yoggoth. Your high school principal. In the entertainment world, it's Frank
    Sinatra, Dean Martin, Joey Bishop, Buddy Hackett, Joey Heatherton, Sammy
    Davis, Jr., Jerry Lewis, Bob Hope (especially Bob Hope), Jan Murray and
    Jack Carter. In short, everyone who wouldn't want to get hit by Robert
    Crumb's Meatball.

    The best example of this is the loudspeaker voice at the University
    City Thriftway, the one that says, 'Choppers, over in our Seafood
    department, we now sell whale meat, only a dollar forty a can!'
    Beware the Fungi from Yoggoth, because it can make you part of It. It
    drains the exuberance and creativity of youth, my friends. It is that which
    denies you SLACK, and it should be avoided at ALL costs!

    (A question was raised concerning how exactly this ties in with Brainsucking.)

    My three part cosmology ties in with brainsucking as follows. The Object from Space bestows upon people the necessary madness to recognize the intelligence-expanding properties of brain sucking. The Communist Munchkins make sure that the equipment you buy to do it fucks up. (I tried using an Electrolux vacuum on a chemistry major once-- yike! I flunked the chem final I had the next day, too.) And the Fungi from Yoggoth will prevent you from sucking the brains of others by telling you LIES!
    You see, the Fungi from Yoggoth is very clever. First, it will lie to you about the consequences. Then, when you finally try it, it will make sure that the Brain you Suck will have a lower than average intelligence; or, it
    may be under the influence of th Fungi from Yoggoth! One quick suck of THAT and WHOOSH! there goes all of your youthful vim and vigor, to be replaced by the dull yellow oppression of teh Fungi from Yoggoth.
    I will attest to the healing properties of select Bob Dylan. I also recommend "Subterranean Homesick Blues," from the same album.
    As for Bon Jovi, I would either define him as False Object from Space, or an undiscovered part of the cosmology. (Although I lke Springsteen, the
    same thing applies-- he has no place in the discovered portions of the Cosmology. However, what lies undiscovered may be Good, and he'd definitely fall into that catgory.)
    Definite rockers from the Object from Space also include Devo, the Sex Pistols, early Clash, Creedence, and Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart. (Especilally the last two!)

    OR Kill me.

    craig@cellar.org (Saint Craig)

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    | VF1000R Intecptor Pilot | The Institute (215)-356-2543 - Turn on tune in
    | DoD# None HA! | hang out and hang
    | I Feel the need... | up.
    | ...the need for speed. | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    [Neat Fundamentalist video ad here]


    (.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)(.)

    The True Story of Jim Morrison Part One

    In Which we learn of Dangerous Beings Who try (but fail) to stop
    Rock'n'Roll


    The Introduction

    The moon's crimson light illuminated a ghastly scene. Jim Morrison
    peered from his hiding place and his stomach got all mushy inside like
    when you've eaten something really greasy and washed it down with Jolt [TM]
    or when you've got a real bad crush on somebody and you think 'well, maybe
    they like me' but you're not sure enough to do anything about it and
    you're not unsure enough to write them off but in any case really gurgly
    at the sight in the clearing below.
    What he saw was this:
    Three disembodied heads with blood oozing from where their necks should be, wailing and foaming at the mouth and floating about and mouthing old
    'Three Stooges' routines, but the most horrible thing about them was that
    they were the heads of CURLY, SHEMP, and JOE!!!
    Eight two-headed black goats with glowing red eyes and green hooves.
    A flying cloud of vomit.
    Dan Quayle.
    A red-skinned dwarf with six-inch tusks.
    The assembled figures were dancing around a giant trout suspended in mid-air in the middle of the clearing. He noticed several nethack ghosts scattered around the clearing.
    So astounded was he by this insane literary collage that he did not
    notice when Dan Quayle, who had merely projected his astral form into
    the clearing as a distraction, hit him over the head with the printout of
    a month's worth of alt.slack messages from the fall of 1987.

    When he awoke, six months later, he was on a spaceship bound for
    Sirius, a pipe in his mouth and an alien computer in his brain.

    [The gory details follow. Stay tuned to the same Slack-Channel!]



    ["Classic" Ren & Stimpy picture here]


    $-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$


    NEED SLACK?

    Dial the Church of the Subgenius(tm) sacred 900#


    1 - 900 - 990 - 5085 ext 324

    $2.00 a minute


    You'll hear the official "RANT of the WEEK"

    -Featuring-

    -Rev. Ivan Stang
    -Pope David Meyer III
    -Father Joe Mama
    -Doctor Howl
    -Saint Janor Hypercleats

    "Beware of false profit$. *These* are my chosen" - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

    PLUS


    Connie Dobbs's

    SIZZLING SECTS(tm)
    HOTLINE!

    1-900-990-5085 ext. 324

    $2.00 a minute- A divine inspiration!


    Under 18 need parent's permission. Touch-tone phone required
    Maximum call, 5 minutes. Mystery Playhouse, Bradenton FL

    $-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$-$

    C O N V E N T I O N S

    April 30 - May 2, 1993 (Arkansas)

    ROC-KON 17. Little Rock, AR. GoH: Suzette Haden Elgin; AGoH: Mary
    Hanson-Roberts; FGoHs: Greg and Angela Bridges. Memb: $15 until 4/16/93,
    $20 after. Info: Roc-Kon 17, P.O. Box 24285, Little Rock AR 72221.

    May 7-9, 1993 (Georgia)

    MAGIC CARPET CON. Holiday Inn, Dalton, GA; rms $38. GoHs: Andre
    Norton, Susan Shwartz. AGoH: Mike Poole; SGoH: Mary Hanson-Roberts; TM:
    Steve Vance. Memb: $20 until 5/6/93, $25 after. Info: Magic Carpet
    Con, c/o Clara Miller, 1726 Threadmill Rd., Dalton, GA 30720.

    May 7-9. 1993 (Canada, Ontario)

    FILKONTARIO 3. Holiday Inn, 2125 North Sheridan Way, Mississauga, ON,
    L5K 1A3, Canada; rms C$78; (416)855-2000. Guests: Michael Longcor, John
    Hall, Grant Millard, Clif Flynt, Dave Clement. Memb: C$25 until 4/1/93,
    C$30 after. Info: Filkontario, 302 College Ave. W., Unit 20, Guelph,
    Ontario, Canada N1G 1S8; Net: 75126.2744@compuserve.com.

    May 14-16 (Atlanta, Georgia)

    DIXIE TREK - GoH: Nichelle Nichols, David Hedison, Gary Conway. At the
    Sheraton Century Center Hotel, 2000 Century Blvd at I-85 & Clairmont Rd
    Memb: $30/20/15. Info: 780 Wayside Dr., Lawrenceville GA 30245

    May 14-16, 1993 (Florida)

    OASIS 6. Altamonte Hilton, 350 S. North Lake Blvd., Altamonte Springs,
    FL 32714; rms $63; (407)830-1985. GoH: Connie Willis; AGoH: Michael
    Whelan; Guests: Ben Bova, Joe & Gay Haldeman, Andre Norton, Ron
    Walotsky, more. Memb: $18 until 1/31/93, $21 until 4/16/93, $24 after.
    Info: OASFiS, P.O. Box 940992, Maitland, FL 32792-0992.

    May 14-16, 1993 (Michigan)

    STARGAZING CONTRAPTION. The Somerset Inn, Troy, MI; rms $70;
    (313)643-7800. GoH: C.J. Cherryh; FGoH: Marty Burke. Memb: $15 until
    3/15/93, $20 after. Info: Contraption, P.O. Box 2285, Ann Arbor, MI
    48106; (313)261-3502.

    May 14-16, 1993 (Tennessee)

    KUBLA KHAN 21. Ramada Inn South, 737 Harding Pl. at Trousdale,
    Nashville, TN 37211; rms $45. GoH: Allen Steele; MC: Andrew J. Offutt;
    SGoH: Charles L. Fontenay; FGoHs: Dan Caldwell, John Hollis. Memb: $20
    until 4/15/93, $30 after. Info: Kubla Khan 21, Ken Moore, 647 Devon
    Dr., Nashville, TN 37220; (615)832-8402.

    May 14-16, 1993 (Canada, Ontario)

    CAN-CON '93. Delta Ottawa Hotel, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. GoHs: Karen
    Wehrstein, Shirley meier, Bink, Robert J. Sawyer, Greg Ioannou.
    Conference on Canadian Content in Speculative Literature. Memb: C$25
    until 4/15/93, C$30 after. Info: Can-Con, Box 105, Woodridge Crs.,
    Nepean, Ont. Canada K2B 8G1; (613) 726-9097 (before 10pm EST).

    May 16-21, 1993 (Caribbean)

    SEATREK '93. Star Trek oriented cruise abord the SS Britanis, leaving
    from Miami, Florida and stopping at Ocho Rios, Jamaica and Grand Cayman
    Island. Q&A sessions, panels, informal meetings with stars from Star Trek, more. Star Trek guests to be announced in April - last year's guests
    included Majel Barrett, William Campbell, Robin Curtis, John deLancie,
    James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Eric Menyuk, Nichelle Nichols, Marina Sirtis, Carel Struycken, George Takei, Wil Wheaton, and Grace Lee Whitney. Memb: ranges from $745-$1250 per person all inclusive. Info: SeaTrek
    Enterprises, 8306 Mills Drive, Box 198, Miami, FL 33183; (800)326-8735 or (305)388-2890.

    May 21-23, 1993 (Wisconsin)

    CORFLU 10. Inn on the Park, Madison, WI. Convention for Fanzine fans.
    Memb: $35 until 4/14/93, $40 after; $10 supporting. Info: Corflu 10,
    Box 1624, Madison, WI 53701; (608)255-3396.

    May 21-23, 1993 (Canada, Manitoba)

    KEYCON 10. Marlborough Hotel, 331 Smith Street, Winnipeg, MB, Canada;
    rms C$65 sngl/dbl, C$75 tpl/quad; (204)942-6411. GoH: Roger Zelazny;
    SGoH: Fred Saberhagen; AGoH: Bob Eggleton. Memb: C$30 until 4/30/93,
    C$40 after. Info: Keycon 10, Box 3178, Winnipeg MB, R3C 4E6, Canada.

    May 28-31, 1993 (Washington D.C.)

    DISCLAVE '93. Dulles Airport Marriott, Chantilly, VA (near Washington,
    D.C.). GoH: Katherine Kurtz; AGoH: Patricia Davis. Memb: $25 until
    4/30/93, $30 after. Info: Disclave '93, c/o John T. Sapienza, Jr., Box
    677, Washington DC 20044.

    May 28-31, 1993 (Canada, British Columbia)

    V-CON 20. Totem Residence, University of British Columbia, Vancouver,
    B.C., Canada. GoH: TBA; AGoH: Rob Alexander; TM: Michael Coney. Info:
    V-Con 20, Box 48478, Bentall Centre, Vancouver BC V7X 1A2, Canada.

    May 28-31, 1993 (England)

    MEXICON 5. St. Nicholas Hotel, Scarborough, UK. GoHs: Norman Spinrad,
    Pat Cardigan. Info: Mexicon 5, c/o Bernie Evans, 121 Cape Hill,
    Smethwick, Warley, W. Midlands B66 4HS, UK.


    car window sign recovered
    from World Trade Center:
    _______
    / \
    / \
    / TERRORIST \
    / & 700 lbs \
    / OF EXPLOSIVES \
    / \
    \ O N /
    \ /
    \ B O A R D /
    \ /
    \ /
    \ /
    -------

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ ************ R A V E S **************** @@@@@@^ ~^ @ @@ @ @ @ I ~^@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@@@@ ~ ~~ ~I @@@@@ April 30 Champaign/Urbana, Il.
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    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Psybersound in Chicago and Gravity
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    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | ]@@@
    @@@@ ~_,,_ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ 10000 sq ft warehouse, 15000 watts pa @@@@ _~ , , `@@@~ _ _`@ ]L J@@@ Roboscans plus other visual goodies @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ DJ's: James Johnson of Psybersound @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@ DJ Hyperactive (Chicago)
    @@@@@_|| @@@@@@P' @@P@@@@@@@@@@@[|c@@@@ DAZ (Mephis)
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ P]@@@-~, ~Y@@^'],@@@@@@ Sane and Jester (Chicago) @@@@@@@[ _ _J@@Tk ]]@@@@@@ Eddie Acid & Chaz M VS. @@@@@@@@,@ @@, c,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@ Ron O. and Angel Garcia @@@@@@@@@ i @w ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ _ ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ More Info Call: 217.359.0153 Tix $6 @ @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' ,ww,w@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Record Service,Grungies in Champaign,IL @@@_xJ~ ~ , @@@@@@@P~_@@@@@@@@@@@@----------------------------------------

    @@ @, ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@ APR 30 COLUMBUS SYNERGY @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ DJs:Columbus-EZ Cheez,DJ Zero,Rob Engel
    | Cincinnati - DJ Daisy
    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption | PA: Body Release
    PO Box 30904 |
    Raleigh, NC 27622 | location: Valley Dale Ballroom
    | (Sunbury Rd north of Ohio Domin.College)
    SEND SASE for free copies! I can deal| info: 614.523.6290 or 614.844.5616 with publishing but not postage!! |----------------------------------------
    | APR 30 CHAMPAIGN TIDAL RAVE For ezine version, mail: |
    | DJ's Psychotic Sid,Brian Clark(Kaboom!)
    Slack@ncsu.edu to get on list | DJ Apocalypse, Flavor Dave
    quartz.rutgers.edu - back | 1105 S. First Street....Champaign Il
    issues (128.6.60.6) | tix available at Hey DJ 627.5 Green St
    | WARNING: This is the frat party... --------------------------------------|---------------------------------------- MAY 1 NASHVILLE LOVE NATION | MAY 7 DETROIT STORM OF RAGE
    |
    DJs Chip B, Chek, Bryan Meyer | Live artists: underground resistance
    DJ Suz E Cyclone from Washington D.C. | ghetto tech, altered states
    PLUS live techno performance by ANODE | rob noise, claude young,
    with CYBERGROOVE DANCERS | special invited guest jeff mills
    NEW 6000 Sq. Ft. Space with 20' High | 50,000 watts of sound * hi-intensity Infinity Walls, Intelligent Lighting | strobes * fog machines * smart bar Smart Drinks and JOLT Bar by EINSTEIN | sci-fi techno arena & the tribal house
    |
    ALL AGES 8pm-MIDNITE, 18+ MIDNITE-6AM | pavilion entertainment center Admission: $7 (under 18), $10 (18+) | 3415 middlebelt road
    Call 615-780-3730 (24hrs) for info | Info: 595-6910 --------------------------------------|----------------------------------------

    MAY 1 PITTSBURGH HIGH VOLTAGE!!! | MAY 8 COLUMBUS CANDYLAND
    |
    TurboZen Presents 9pm-6am | DJs: Boomer (Det) Will B. There (Cinci)
    Neural Transmission Event | Magic Mike G.,Kevy Kev (Columbus)
    | Jondy, Rob Engel (Columbus)
    DJs Soji-Fu,Jeff E,Dr. Suess,Side 2 | PA: Theory Collapse
    Finger,+FX,Simon,Deadly Buda, | Never before attempted 6 TURNTABLE
    JediMindtrip,Terry Kicks,Vic Money| HYPERTECHNO TURNOUT - UNBELIEVABLE Special Live Performance by | location: Valley Dale ballroom
    Super Cool 187 | an 18 and over event
    | info line: 614.341.7345
    Ticket Info available at: 412.621.7759| Tickets $9 adv, $10 day of show


    Jerry
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Jerry Woody@RICKSBBS to All on Friday, February 20, 2026 07:08:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #18: Let's Do the Lincoln-Disney Twist! $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E Holy Temple of Mass Consumption F R E E
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 StarFleet BBS (919) 782-3095

    SHIT ALERT - SHIT ALERT - SHIT ALERT - SHIT ALERT

    The 1993 Award for the worst, phoniest bullshit goes to the entire city of MYRTLE BEACH, SC. After seeing it for the first time after a period of several years, the remaining vestiges of fun have all been turned into cheesy T-shirt shops. You can still play any kind of video game you like, as long as that game is a Kung-fu-fighting game. The best clubs have closed down, the few that remain have no slack or vibe whatsoever. The only thing that hasn't changed is the legions of butthead police, who must save you from the evils of drinking a beer or having fun. The beach itself is OK, being relatively free of toxic wastes. Not even doing away with the Sunday alcohol blue-law has helped the overall scene, though. If you're looking for fun, don't bother here.
    [and for those who might say that its just *me* getting older and more cynical, go look for yourselves. The psychic rot from NMB has finally spread south.]

    The only thing that kept the whole trip from being a complete fucking waste was the only late show in town (in a town which once had TONS of midnight movies..) Not for the squeamish, The Faces of Death part IV
    is highly recommended. This is *real* death on
    camera, ranging from the usual series of grisly
    accidents, to attacks by deadly mutant creatures
    from toxic pollution, culinary treats from other <Picture of the cultures, miscalculated bungee jumps,loose psychos certificate of
    in hospitals, and dictatorship police slaughtering survival>
    their own people in the streets. Maybe the NRA
    might be onto something after all. Plus, if you
    can make it through the entire showing, you get
    the OFFICIAL Faces of Death IV certificate of ->
    survival. It doesn't mention whether
    you made it through without tossing
    G your cookies, as there were definitely
    a few close calls in the theatre.
    R
    Congratulations, or something like that, to the graduating classes
    A of 1993. Now that you've finished kissing the asses of a bunch of
    Conspiracy teachers, get ready to pucker up and bend over for the
    P Conspiracy "Bureaucrats" that will define your existence from this
    point forward. Give a big thanks to Bill Clinton and previous
    H administrations for your future career flipping greaseburgers at
    your local McDonald's. Expect the only "change" that will occur
    I under this current batch of do-gooders is that the pace of the
    Conspiracy will INCREASE. Don't look at me- I voted for "Bob".
    C ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    COMIX to Want and Buy:

    *** The Hacker Files - Showdown (1.0) The fight against the Conspiracy continues. Hacker and gang infiltrate secret computer compound in Russia.
    DC Comics 1325 Avenue of the America NY NY 10019

    **** Sugarvirus - Someone is tracking down and killing members of a vampire colony in Berlin, and they suspect that it might be another vampire. Not
    for the squeamish. Tundra Publishing UK Ltd, Unit 23, Eurolin Business Ctr,
    49 Effra Rd, Brixton, London SW2 1BZ

    *** Savage Henry #26 - Hawkwind vs. The Forces of Chaos - Dave Brock, lead guitar for the band Hawkwind, starts slipping between reality levels. Henry helps find out who dosed Dave. Rip Off Press, POB 4686, Auburn, CA 95604

    **** Post Brothers #30 - In order to get paid for his latest assassination,
    Ron needs the only witness, a little girl, to tell the police. But, in the attempt to frighten someone in a world without fear, awesome forces are unleashed. Rip Off Press.

    *** Ren & Stimpy #8 - "The Maltese Stimpy" - Twisted remake of the original movie, with the same characters, but finally, a better story. Plus, more
    humor aimed above the heads of the kiddies. Marvel Comics

    *** Vampire Lingerie Fantasy Catalog - The Frederick's of Hollywood-style catalog for the well-endowed undead. Hopefully, some of these fashions will make their way to the cons. Acid Rain Studios, 51795 Old Mill Rd, South Bend IN 46637. Also ask for the 93 Vampire Bikini Comic Calendar.

    **** Milk & Cheese's 3rd Number One - Violence, mayhem, booze, and general
    bad attitudes from dairy products gone bad. Every institution in the world
    is their target. Slave Labor Graphics, 883 S Bascom Ave, San Jose, CA 95128

    ***** Milk & Cheese's 4th Number One - New heights of outrageousness as the dairy products go on sugar rampages, wino parties, and attacks on comics.
    This may be the last issue for a while. Slave Labor Graphics.

    **** The Tick #12 - Tick wins a secret hideout full of neat high-tech toys,
    but when the previous owner goes mad, Tick also inherits a host of enemies.
    New England Comics Press, PO Box 310, Quincy, MA 02269

    *** Stickboy #6 - The Death of Stickboy, plus other cartoons and articles
    from Dennis Worden. The next incarnation of Stickboy will be a VIDEO
    ordered only from him, at PO Box 192, San Juan Capistrano, CA 92693 ($15). This great comic is from Starhead Comics, POB 30044, Seattle, WA 98103

    **** Gregory III - More adventures of the insane, institutionalized boy
    whose friends are rats and eats cockroaches. Piranha Press.

    *** Zippy Quarterly #2, "15 Minutes Ahead of His Time" - More strip adventures of Zippy and Griffy, including the special story "Life Before Velcro", their trip back to the 1890s. Fantagraphic Books,7563 Lake City Way, Seattle WA 98115

    *** Heavy Metal July 1993 - with wild artwork by Ted McKeever, plus the usual collection of flipped-out stories. HM is really pushing that "X" rating lately.


    >>> *************** <<<
    >>> FACTSHEET 5 #47 <<<
    >>> *************** <<<


    The ultimate resource is now on the bookshelves, or available from
    PO Box 170099, San Francisco, CA 94117-0099. Sample issue $4.00

    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    **** ZINES sent to the HToMC Sacred PO Box **** WE TRADE!

    The Nose #17 "exposing the west". I originally bought this magazine for the **** interview with Rev. Ivan Stang **** with all the latest news about the Church of the SubGenius (PO Box 140306 Dallas, TX 75214 and IGNORE the stupid Canadian rip-offs!) The whole magazine is incredible, with an expose of Dr. Gene Scott, Fashion from The Naked Guy, roadkills, reviews, and more stuff. $5.00 from The Nose, 1095 Market St., Suite 812 SF, CA 94103 (415) 621-7028

    Baby Sue vol 4 issue 1 - The art of Yard Sailing, Professions to Avoid, Ace Backwords, plus the usual stream of outrageous and sickening comics.
    POB 1111, Decatur, GA 30031-1111 $8 for 4 issues

    Eyewash 4 - Analysis of the Great American Psychopath as revealed in several classic movies, plus tips on how to keep a fleet of $200 junk cars going.
    GREAT stuff- Cyclone Publications, PO Box 20013 Dayton OH 45420-0013 (Trades) Also available - Eleventh Pin - pictures of the traveling bowling pin

    3dipsnewS vol. 7 - the official journal of the 3dipswhoaregoD is not dead!
    This one is a mind-expanding 8-pager. Pen up your nose! Send them money, stamps, parsley, anything for this one. Catfish, 915 W. Wisconsin Ave. Rm 412 (after August 15, use Rm 1012) Milwaukee, WI 53233 <- near Dahmner trial site

    The Church of Hemp has a NEW Jack-Chick-ripoff pamphlet: D.A.R.E: The Lost Generation. Plus, other pamphlets on Reefer Racism, Marijuana and Christianity plus other great books and magazines. For the latest, send $1 to:
    The Church of Hemp PO Box 1511 Bellingham, WA 98227-1511

    Liberty Vol 6 #4 - Libertarians with guts, who aren't afraid to point out the pointless absurdities of the current administration, but their own foibles as well. Insightful articles on Bill Clinton, multiculturalism, rent control,
    Ayn Rand, and how to cut your taxes by 75%. $4.00 from Liberty, PO Box 1811 Port Townshend, WA 98368

    Karma Lapel #4 - Nice collection of counter-cultural articles, plus extensive zine, comic, and music reviews. PO Box 5467 Evanston, IL 60204 $1 or trade

    0.U.Z.M.T. (The 0fficial-Unofficial Zine of the Muselix Throng of the M00se Illuminati) issue 3-1. This chapter of the M00se Illuminati (BL00P!) can
    also be found at various cons in the southeast. The zine is free from:
    OUZMUT, the SnafuM00se Chapter, 702 Prince Edward Street Suite 4N Fredericksburg, VA 22401

    Messiah #2, The Journal of Sex, Politics and Religion - lots of on-target social commentary, wiccan articles, humor, poetry, Rocky Horror news, and
    more. $3 from Jef Williams, PO Box 10035 Winston-Salem NC 27108

    Funny Pages #42 - Anything is fair game for the jokes in this zine, so be prepared for politically incorrect, sick and disgusting material. Nice stuff. $1.50 each, 12/15$ Funny Pages, PO Box 317025 Dayton, OH 45437

    Weekly devotional flyer from the Intergalactic House of Fruitcakes. This week, they are worshipping Libertinism, like any good Otis worshipper. With many pictures of Puritan witch-hunting to remind us how far we've come. Send Money! IHOF 955 Massachusetts Ave. Suite #209, Cambridge MA 02139-9183

    Taproot Reviews #2.0 - this electronic zine is a FS5-like review of various independent, underground, and experimental real-world publications. Info
    and possibly subscriptions from: au462@cleveland.freenet.edu

    XDZebra #29 - Reviews of all the latest rave music, plus news & info.
    Write to: Addiction, 266 Delmar St. Salt Lake City, UT 84101-1817
    electronic version send to all rave mailing lists, for info on one of them mail: mw-raves-request@engin.umich.edu


    ============================================================================

    Donating Money for U.S. Debt Is Like Giving Booze to a Wino
    by Tom Barberi

    Am I missing something?
    The government has dug a $4.2 trillion - that's $4,200,000,000,000 -
    debt. It has done this by taking every dime it could, with every tax imaginable and spending more than it took in.
    Now the Clinton administration proposes to pay off the debt by taking
    even more money from us. Not only that, but it is going to spedn a whole
    bunch more on new stuff. On top of that, a 14-year-old North Dakota boy and his well publicized $1,000 donation toward the national debt has fostered similar nutty behavior.
    Could it be the hole in the ozone layer?, El Nino?, gloval warming?, Not evnough dietary fiber?
    What prompts otherwise rational people to take time out of busy lives to put on a bake sale and send the proceeds to that money-gobbling machine in Washington?
    I don't get it. Even a batch of fifth-graders from Ohio peddled baked goodies cleverly named for our leaders: Bill Brownies, Gore Goodies, Capitol Hill Cookies, Tipper Toffee and Oval Office Oatmeal. They raised $278.50.
    I'm surprised they didn't try to market Socks Suckers. Maybe they realized those might wake people up. This wave of citizen guilt for a
    problem they didn't create isn't limited to school kids.
    The staff of a weekly newspaper in North Dakota is planning a bake sale. The Eskimo Pie Corp. has decided to donate to the same cause: 5 cents for
    every box of its chocolate-coated vanilla ice cream snacks sold between tomorrow and April 4th.
    Isn't that like double taxation? If that company truly wanted to do something for the economy, wouldn't it make more sense to lower the price of
    an Eskimo Pie by 5 cents? That way the consumer would have more money to
    spend supporting other businesses that pay taxes or employ people who pay taxes.
    Sending the government more money that it already confiscates from us is like giving a wino a key to the state liquor store. What is the first thing that a credit counselor does when people come in for help? He or she cuts up the credit cards and creates a budget that will lead them out of debt.
    The ease with which government created this mammoth debt was illustrated the other night on the news when the manager of a former defense contractor, who was shifting his company to perform in-military work, said the company
    now would have to do some real thinking because private business won't pay
    $600 for a toilet seat or $400 for a hammer.
    To put out a fire you have to remove its fuel source. It only makes
    sense that to put out this D.C. spending inferno, we must cut off its money supply - or at least thin it out.


    [super-neat graphics unrelated to US debt]

    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

    The True Adventures of Jim Morrison: Space Ranger Part 1


    The shooting had stopped. The jungle's quiet was disturbed only by
    the sound of inch-long mosquitos flying through the humid summer air.
    A full moon gave Morrison's face a ghastly pall as he reloaded his Tarantula 9000. The Tarantula was a fine weapon, a 50 caliber recoilless machine
    pistol of a type that would not be mass-produced for another twenty years.
    Damn. If only the Viet Cong patrol hadn't returned to their camp
    half an hour early. Damn. If only he hadn't gotten separated from his
    squad during the firefight. Damn. If only any of a vicious chain of events that deposited him here, alone, hungry and sick, in the jungles of southern Thailand, hundreds of miles away from his base camp, hadn't happened. Damn.
    Morrison tried to clear his mind by concentrating on his Tarantula.
    It was a prototype, a weapon he had rescued from the laboratories of a
    dead Ceylonese weaponsmith, and he hadn't been taking proper care of it.
    Now, the loading mechanism was jammed, and he didn't have the tools to
    repair it correctly. He tried to improvise using his pocketknife, the one
    he'd picked up during the Doors' last tour, years before.
    He worked long into the night, slapping at the mosquitos that descended
    in clouds to drink the blood from his exposed arms and chest. So intent
    was he on his work that he did not notice the subtle change in the quality
    of the moonlight as it slowly altered from silvery-white to blood-red, until the sound of inhuman voices nearby attracted his attention.


    [Moving shot from over the right shoulder of walking man. All we
    can see of the man is his dark blue suit and that he has short Bryllcreemed hair and a pipe, which occasionally trails smoke into the camera lens.
    He walks down a steel-grey corridor, his shoes clicking on the concrete
    floor. He stops at a door with two security guards in front of it.
    The guards immediately stand at attention as the man approaches.]

    Man: Hi guys! Gee, it's a real scorcher outside, isn't it?

    Guard 1: Yes, Mr. Dobbs.

    [Guards stand aside as Dobbs approaches a small panel beside the door. After a retinal scan, fingerprint scan, voice check, and magnetic ID check,
    the bolt on the door automatically clicks open. The camera pans back as
    Dobbs enters the room, revealing a blindingly white room, with computer and medical equipment lining the walls. Dominating the room is a large plexi- glass tank with a shadowy figure floating within. Around the tank are
    arranged more pieces of equipment and white-coated technicans.]

    Dobbs: Hi everybody! Gee, it's a real scorcher outside, yep.

    TECHNICIANS: Hello Mr. Dobbs.

    [Dobbs approaches the tank]

    Dobbs: So this is our man, eh? Stang, fill me in.

    Dr. Stang: We found him in Thailand three days ago, during a routine border patrol. He was suffering from multiple gunshot wounds and malaria.
    It's a miracle he survived as long as he did. At the time, he kept mumbling 'give me back my tarantulas'. However, by the time we got him back to Dobbstown hospital, his condition had degenerated drastically, so I decided
    to bring him here.

    Dobbs: Well, well, well. Let's have a look at him, okay?

    [Dr. Stang lifts back the cover of the tank to reveal the mad,
    glittering eyes of Jim Morrison!]

    Dobbs: Hi Jim! Gee, it's a real scorcher outside, huh?

    Dr. Stang: "Bob", he can't hear you.

    Dobbs: Well, maybe not with his *brain* so much...

    Dr. Stang: We've scheduled the brain surgery to implant the microchips for Thursday...

    Dobbs: Thursday? I go bowling Thursday...

    Dr. Stang: We've already cloned the replacement heart and right leg,
    so this will be the last operation. He'll be recovering in the tanks for
    a few months, though.

    Dobbs: You were able to save the...

    Dr. Stang: Uh, yes.

    Dobbs: Oh, good. Well, once you're back on your feet, Mr. Morrison,
    what should I do with you? Computer?

    Computer: Hi there, "Bob"!

    Dobbs: Hi! What are the latest projections involving Jim by Project Ragnarok?

    Computer: A real good question, "Bob"! It seems Mr. Morrison here
    will be vitally important to our plans during the summer of 1997, but the public can't be allowed to know that he's alive until 1993 at the earliest.
    At least, that's what the precogs say.

    Dobbs: And not letting him do concerts would rob him of vital Slack. Hmm...

    [Dobbs meditates briefly, and as he does, an eerie high-pitched hum
    fills the air. A technician kicks the terminal next to her and the hum
    stops.]

    Dobbs: Jeepers! I've got it! We'll put him on a mini-tour of this
    arm of the galaxy. Jimi's been needing a vocalist, and we can't get Lennon.

    Dr. Stang: And since he'll be travelling most of the distance near lightspeed, he'll hardly age, so he'll be in great shape for the end times! Great work, "Bob"!

    Dobbs: Aw, shucks.

    --
    T.Rev?

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

    C O N V E N T I O N S

    June 3-5, 1993 (Germany)

    HAMBURG PHANTASTIC '94/CON-COURSE '94/STARD '94. The Congress Center
    Hamburg, Germany. The largest convention in Germany combining parts of
    CON-COURSE '94 - the largest German Star Trek convention and STARD '94 -
    Germany's biggest convention for gaming. Info: Hamburg Phantastic 1994,
    Achim Sturm, Woltersburger Muhlenweg 10, W-3110 Uelzen, Germany; phone:
    (0581)4 34 60.

    June 4-6, 1993 (Arizona)

    LEPRECON 19. Camelview Resort, Scottsdale, AZ. GoH: S.P. Somtow, AGoH:
    Sue Dawe. Memb: $30. Info: Leprecon 19, Box 26665, Tempe, AZ 85285-6665;
    (602) 245-1440 (Doug Cosper).

    June 4-6, 1993 (Illinois)

    DUCKON II. Lisle Hyatt, 1400 Corporetum Drive, Lisle, IL;
    (708)852-1234; (800)233-1234; rms $62. GoH: Leo Frankowski, AGoH: Paul
    MacNerland; Filk GoH; Lynn Fancher; FGoHs: Bill Higgins, Barry Gehm.
    Memb: $30. Info: Duckon, Box 4843, Wheaton IL 60189; email:
    duckon@meltdown.chi.il.us.

    June 4-6, 1993 (Kentucky)

    CONJURATION/DEEPSOUTHCON 31. Executive Inn East, Louisville KY; rms $57
    sngl/dbl, $67 tpl/quad. GoHs: Emma Bull & Will Shetterly; AGoH: Dawn
    Wilson; FGoH: Genny Dazzo; TM: Andrew J. Offutt. SF convention,
    Masquerade, Art Show, Dealer's Room, more. Memb: $35. Info:
    Conjuration/DSC '93, Box 5231, Louisville KY 40255.

    June 4-6, 1993 (Oklahoma)

    THUNDERCON 3. Central Plaza Hotel, Oklahoma City, OK; (800)233-2219
    (outside OK); (800-522-4383 (in OK); rms $45. Guests: Rick Sternbach,
    Larry Nemecek, Sylvester McCoy, Robert O'Reilly, more. Convention with
    emphasis on Star Trek and SF/Media. Memb: $25 (children 5 and under
    free; 6-12 half price). Info: ThunderCon 3, 207 Americana Court, Norman
    OK 73069; (405)329-1737; email: brett@gallifrey.ucs.uoknor.edu.

    June 4-6, 1993 (Maryland)

    CONTERPOINT. Holiday Inn, 1800 Belmont Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21244;
    (410)265-1400; rms $49. U.S. Northeast Science Fiction Folk Festival
    including concerts, sing-a-longs, panels, workshops, dealer's room,
    parties, more. GoH: Bill Roper; TM: Dick Eney. Memb: $30 in advance,
    $35 at door; $10 supporting. Children 12 and under are free. Info:
    Ellen Granzer, 18 Riverdale Street, Allston, MA 02134.

    June 4-6, 1993 (Canada, Ontario)

    AD ASTRA 13. Sheraton Toronto East Hotel, Toronto, ON, Canada; rms
    C$82. GoH: Frederik Pohl; SGoH: Dave Duncan; AGoH: Robin Wood; guests:
    Ben Bova, Hal Clement, Greg Costikyan, Shirley Meier, Karen Wehrstein,
    Geoff Landis, Rob Sawyer, J.F. Rivken, Mark Asquith, more. Memb:
    C$32. Info: Ad Astra 13, Box 7276, St. A, Toronto, ON, M5W 1X9, Canada.

    June 9-12, 1993 (New York)

    INSTITUTE FOR INQUIRY summer session. Ctr for Tomorrow, SUNY at Buffalo,
    Amherst Campus (Maple Rd. and Millersport Hwy) Sessions are: "Investigating
    UFOs" sponsored by CSICOP, and "Humanism, Religion and Mental Health"
    sponsored by CODESH. $125 each/$225 both. Hotel: Hampton Inn 1-800-426-8766,
    rms. $64/night. For seminar info call 1-800-634-1610

    June 11-13, 1993 (Alabama)

    MOBI-CON. Mobile, Alabama. GoH: Margaret Weis; Gaming GoH: David 'Zeb'
    Cook. Info: Mobi-Con, Inc., P.O. Box 161257, Mobile, AL 36616.

    June 11-13, 1993 (Tennessee)

    MOUNTAINTREK '93. Hyatt Regency, Knoxville TN. GoH: Jean Lorrah; FGoH:
    Roland Castle. Star Trek Convention. Memb: $25 in advance, $35 at
    door; $5 supporting. Info: Mountaintrek '93, c/o 2116 Belle Terra Rd
    #C, Knoxville TN 37923; (615)632-7497 (days), (615) 690-8595
    (evenings/weekends).

    June 11-13, 1993 (North Carolina)

    HEROES CONVENTION. Charlotte International Trade Center, 200 N. College St
    Charlotte, NC. Huge comic book convention with reps from Marvel, DC,
    Valiant, Aardvark-Vanaheim, and more. Plus, contests, siminars, workshops,
    exhibits. Info: Po Box 9181, Charlotte NC 28299-9181 1-800-321-4370

    June 12-13, 1993 (Florida)

    VULKON. Orlando North Hilton, 350 South Northlake Blvd., Altamonte
    Springs, FL; (407)830-1985; rms $69 sngl/dbl, $79 tpl, $89 quad.
    Guests: Nana Visitor, Daniel Davis, Mike Okuda. Dealer's room, games,
    films, costumes, panels, more. Memb: $40. Info: Vulkon, c/o Joe Motes,
    12237 SW 50th St., Cooper City, FL 33330.

    June 17-20, 1993 (Nevada)

    SCIENCE FICTION RESEARCH ASSOCIATION. Flamingo Hilton, Reno, NV; rms
    $80; (800)648-4882 (be sure to mention UNR's SFRA Conference). GoH:
    Poul Anderson. Other Possible Guests: Robert Silverberg, Lisa Mason,
    Tom Maddox, Timothy Leary, Joan Slonczewski, Rudy Rucker, Frederik Pohl,
    Jack Williamson, Pat Murphy, Elizabeth Lynn, Karen Haber, Robert
    Reginald, Charles Brown. Info: Milton T. Wolf, Getchell Library, UNR,
    Reno, Nevada 89557-0044; (702)784-4577.

    June 18-20, 1993 (Minnesota)

    DIVERSICON 1993. Seville Plaza, 8151 Bridge Road, Bloomington MN 55437;
    (612)830-1300, 1-800-860-7408 (inside Minnesota), 1-800-328-7947
    (everywhere else); rms $44.94 king, $50.57 twin. GoHs: Eleanor Arnason,
    A.C. Crispin. SGoH: Ruth Berman. Small, discussion-oriented
    convention. Memb: $25 (Children $20); $5 supporting. Info: Diversicon
    1993, PO Box 8036, Lake Street Station, Minneapolis, MN 55408; (612)
    646-3852; (612) 825-9353; (612) 722-7577; email:
    curt%quest.uucp@cs.umn.edu or tmcinroy@aol.com.

    June 18-20, 1993 (Texas)

    GALAXY FAIR '93. Sheraton Park Central, Dallas TX; rms $66. Memb: $25
    until 6/17/93, $30 after. Info: Galaxy Fair '93, Box 150471, Arlington
    TX 76015; (817)467-0681.

    June 18-20, 1993 (Louisiana)

    NEW ORLEANS SF & FANATASY FESTIVAL. Clarion Hotel, 1500 Canal St., New
    Orleans, LA 70112; (504)522-4500 or 1-800-824-3359; $65 sngl/dbl, $75
    tpl/quad. GoH: Robert Silverberg; AGoH: Bob Eggleton; FGoH: Sherry
    Snyder; TM: Walter Jon Williams; Guests: George Alec Effinger, Joe
    Haldeman, Jack Haldeman, Barbara Hambly, Neal Barrett, Jr.. Memb: $20
    until 5/31/93, $25 after. Info: New Orleans SF & Fantasy Festival 1993,
    P.O. Box 791089, New Orleans, LA 70179-1089.

    June 18-20, 1993 (Missouri)

    CONTINUUM '93. Holiday Inn Convention Center, Cape Girardeau, MO.
    GoHs: M.S. Murdock, media guests; AGoH: TBA; FGoH: Jean Kluge. Memb:
    $40. Info: CONtinuum '93, 1617 Lyndhurst, Cape Girardeau, MO 63701;
    (314)334-4386 (Janie McGaugh).

    June 19-21, 1993 (England)

    PROTOPLASM 4. Parker's Hotel, Manchester, UK. GoH: Bob Shaw; Guests:
    Mary Gentle, Dean Wayland, Mike Gearing. Memb: L18. Info: Protoplasm
    4, 1 Shoesmith Ct., Merchants Place, Reading, Berks. RH1 1DT, UK.

    June 24-27, 1993 (Ohio)

    MIDWESTCONN 44. Quality Inn Central, Cincinnati, OH 45212; rms $65.
    TM: Wilson Tucker. Relaxacon. Memb: $18.50 until 6/1/93, $23 after.
    Info: Pat Sims, 34 Creekwood Swuare, Glendale OH 45246.

    June 25-27, 1993 (Georgia)

    ATLANTA FANTASY FAIR. Hyatt Atlanta Airport, Atlanta GA 30337. GoHs:
    David Prowse, Grace Lee Whitney, Caroline Munro, Monique Gabrielle, Jeff
    Rector, Gunnar Hanson, irish McCalla. Memb: $27 until 6/5, $30 at door.
    Info: AFF, 4175 Eliza Court, Lithonia, GA 30058 (404) 985-1230

    June 25-27, 1993 (California, Northern)

    ANIME AMERICA. Westin Hotel, Santa Clara, CA. GoHs: Fred Patten, Adam
    Warren, Yoshihiro Yonezawa. Memb: $35 until 6/1/93, $45 after. Info:
    Anime America, 298 4th Ave., #472, San Francisco, CA 94118.

    June 25-27, 1993 (Missouri)

    ARCHON 17. Collinsville, IL Convention Center & Collinsville Holiday Inn
    ($70 sngl-quad, other nearby hotels cheaper; write PO Box for Housing
    Bureau information); St. Louis area. GoH: Howard Waldrop; AGoH: Carl
    Lundgren; FGoHs: Rich Cross, Tom Seymour, J.D. Streett IV, Ted Smith;
    TM: Roger Zelazny. Six or more tracks of panels, seminars, & readings,
    Children's & Grand Masquerades, art show & auction, dealers room, pool
    parties, gaming, children's programing track, Fri. night meet-the-pro's
    reception/dance and hall-costume contest, 2 video rooms plus Amateur
    Video Contest (for info, write John Donigan, 7480 Rupert, St. Louis, MO
    63117), hospitality suite, more. Free Pizza Party With the Pro's on
    Sunday for all volunteers who work 4 or more hours. Memb: $19 until
    5/31/93, $22 after (no mail-ins after 6/11/93; Children 6-12 $5 (under 6
    free) at all times, but MUST be accompanied by an adult member; MC and
    Visa accepted. Info: Archon 17, P.O. Box 50125, Clayton, MO 63105; Rich
    or Michelle Zellich (314) FAN-3026. email:
    zellich@ST-LOUIS-EMH2.ARMY.MIL.

    June 25-27, 1993 (Czech Republic)

    PARCON '93. Czech Republic. Czech National Convention. Info: ODDM,
    vila Doris, ul 17, Listopadu2, 78701 Sumperk, Czech Republic.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ ************ R A V E S **************** @@@@@@^ ~^ @ @@ @ @ @ I ~^@@@@@@---------------------------------------- @@@@@ ~ ~~ ~I @@@@@ June 5 AQUARIUS GREENSBORO NC @@@@' ' _,w@< @@@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ Aquarius - the Underwater Rave
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ Featuring DJs Mr. Brett & Mr. Bill @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ at the Infinity Forum in Greensboro @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | ]@@@
    @@@@ ~_,,_ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ Info: (919) 288-9635 or 574-1844
    @@@@ _~ , , `@@@~ _ _`@ ]L J@@@---------------------------------------- @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ June 5 PURE JUICE PITTSBURGH PA @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@@_|| @@@@@@P' @@P@@@@@@@@@@@[|c@@@@ Opens 00:09:00 Trance/Tribal lounge @@@@@@w| '@@P~ P]@@@-~, ~Y@@^'],@@@@@@ 18 and over Smart/Juice Bar @@@@@@@[ _ _J@@Tk ]]@@@@@@ 5 bones MindMovies @@@@@@@@,@ @@, c,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ with dieselBoy, guest DJ Sleepy-C @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ _ ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' ,ww,w@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ ZOOM, 826 Island Ave. Pittsburgh @@@_xJ~ ~ , @@@@@@@P~_@@@@@@@@@@@@ (412) 771.1166
    @@ @, ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@----------------------------------------

    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ June 11 COOL WORLD CHARLOTTE NC @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    | at the Park Elevator club
    For hardcopy w/graphics, send SASE to:| 601 S. Cedar St.
    | Info: (704) 376-8675
    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption |
    PO Box 30904 |----------------------------------------
    Raleigh, NC 27622 | June 12 OBLIVION LEXINGTON KY
    | For ezine version, mail: | DJ Strobe/ or DJ Hyperactive
    | DJ Boomer from Detroit
    Slack@ncsu.edu to get on list | DJ Kevy Kev from Columbus
    quartz.rutgers.edu - back | DJ Mind Candy from Cinci
    issues (128.6.60.6) | DJ Wilbthere from Cinci (uc)
    | 10,000+ Watts o' bass * --------------------------------------| 20' Fractal/Mind's Eye Tripout Video* ************************************* | Loops by Sebastian * >>> NC Rave Line - (919) 574-2555 <<< | Roboscans, Dataflashes, by Technocolor* ************************************* | Psychoactive Bar by GET SMART - Detroit

    STRANGE BUT TRHE | For info call the Bluegrass Raveline at Friday, Feb. 5th evening, a large | (606) 281-4144, or monitor MW-Raves party near the Purdue campus was | email jsquared- <uk02657@mik.uky.edu> broken up and the residents of the | apartment were cited for violation of |---------------------------------------- the West Lafayette noise ordinance. | friday JUNE 18 till SALT LAKE CITY Apparently, while watching The Little | sunday JUNE 20 Mermaid, the students began to sing | along with the movie loud enough to be| SOLSTICE heard a block away. The students were | To be held in small canyon south of allowed to keep their videotape, on | SLC, in an old cowboy camp. for more the condition that they wouldn't sing | info contact: pashdown@slack.sim.es.com quite so loudly. | ---------------- |---------------------------------------- Several years ago two friends pulled | June 19 METAMORPHOSIS II GREENSBORO an art prank. There was a art show | going on, my friends took a 2 foot | DJ Darren Greensboro section of a 2X4 and painted it blue, | DJ Threat Chapel Hill then drove a 10 penny spike into the | DJ Thomas Velvet in Atlanta side of it and mounted upright. They | w/special performace by PARIS named it something odd like "Man's | Inhumanity to Man". They not only won | West Market Fleat Market a prize but some fool gave them 100 | 6500 W. Market St. Greensboro, NC bucks for it. | Call NC Raveline for info


    Jerry
    telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
    http://ricksbbs.synchro.net:8080
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Larry Sneeringer@RICKSBBS to All on Monday, February 23, 2026 07:49:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ Issue #8 $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ High Weirdness Issue $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

    Contents:

    High Weirdness update
    MicroRant
    "Bob" invades the NeXT computer
    Banished CPU BBS ad
    execution of Those Who Prefer Miracle Whip

    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption SLACK@ncsu.edu
    PO Box 30904 netoprwa@ncsuvm.BITNET
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The "High Weirdness by Mail" concept needs to be perpetuated. Most of the things listed in the book don't exist any more!

    What better source for current information than alt.slack? I propose that
    if you know of some utterly slackful or even slackless source, POST IT! That way, we can all join in the fun...

    I'll start. Here's a good one:

    Dean M. Epstein
    International Student Complex
    Alternative Learning Programs
    1023 Hilgard Avenue
    Los Angeles, CA 90024-0841

    (213) 208-7813

    These people claim to want to promote "world harmony and understanding." All
    I can see that they do is ask for money (sound familiar?). Their approach is novel; at first, they act like they don't want your money, but, if you
    show the slightest interest, you will be bombarded with incredibly
    strange mailings (tantric healings, glasnost poetry, worms of the world) and, if you use a "foreign" sounding name, they will send you the most hilarious materials in bad foreign languages. I used a fake Japanese name, and had
    a friend look at the results. He said it was meaningless nonense-but
    what a concept! Their English stuff is pretty good, so I used another
    address and wrote in German-the results were wild! I'm not sure what this is all about, but it is funny, and since I think it is at least partially
    tax supported, it should be free for the asking.


    Anyway, boys and girls, let's find the best sources of free entertainment
    and post 'em here! "Bob" would want you to!

    --------------------

    I recommend "The Skeptical Inquirer" as an excellent and refreshing >alternative to the unsubstantiated claims of the paranormal that we are >frequently exposed to and often asked to accept. Subscriptions are $22.50 per >year (Box 229, Buffalo NY 14215-0229).


    Other publications of the same type are:

    The British & Irish Skeptic
    (Manchester Skeptics
    71, Bury & Bolton Road
    Radcliffe, Manchester UK M26 0LF)
    10 pounds UK. 14 pounds overseas surface

    Local, regional, and national organizations "with aims similar to those of SCICOP" also publish their own newsletters. There are currently over 70 such organizations worldwide. A listing can be found in any SKEPTICAL INQUIRER.

    --------------------


    NSCE REPORTS
    National Center for Science Education
    P.O. Box 9477
    Berkeley, CA 94709-0477

    The NSCE is mainly concerned with science education in public schools, and especially with countering the attempts to introduce "creationism" into
    public school *science* curricula. There are state organizations, commonly called "Committees of Correspondence," loosly associated with NSCE, and
    sharing the same goals. The California Committee publishes BACC SCIENCE.
    Four other committees publish regular newsletters. A listing of these newsletters can be found in the July-August NSCE REPORTS.

    --------------------

    CREATION/EVOLUTION
    7 Harwood Drive
    P.O. Box 146
    Buffalo, NY 14226-0146

    This is the premier resource for debunking of creationist claims. It is published by the American Humanist Association, but I detect no Humanist
    bias in the material. A subscriber will however, find himself on the
    Humanist mail lists.

    --------------------

    Damn straight! What an excellent idea! Much of "High Weirdness" was culled from Factsheet Five, a weirdness source. If you want to subscribe:

    Factsheet Five
    c/o Michael Gunderloy
    6 Arizona Ave.
    Rensselear, NY 12144

    Bulk Rate 1st Class
    Sample $3 $3.75
    6 issues $16 $21

    --------------------

    CULTS: (WHACKO CHRISTIAN)

    Jumping for Jesus Club!

    Coach Dennis Clark forms ministry clubs of little kids who jump
    rope for Jesus, travelling the country spreading the Good Word.
    Teams have names like the Popping Preachers, The Hallelujah
    Hoppers, and the Faith Movers. Pretty slick, huh? Repetitive
    physical movement and religious indoctrination have always been a
    good way to brainwashh people and little kids are ideal subjects. Hmmmmm.....Hey, Robbie, c'mere! Jump this rope...

    Church of the Creator:

    PinKs Vs Muds!!!!! Yes, the glories of the Racial Loyalty
    Newletter brought to you in glorious black and white! Try the
    Religion of the White Trash Race! Forget God, Jesus, even Odin!
    ---- only Aryan mortals are worthy of global ownership! The MUD
    RACES must DIE! Yes join the Church of the Creator, and learn
    what it really is to be a twisted , senile, over the top
    hatemonger....

    Find out about Hitler's UFO Forces!
    The 'Rotten Roots' of Jesse Jackson!
    Christmas is Baal-Worship!
    The Dangers of Eating Pork!
    Obey! or Taste My Loving Wrath!


    The Christian Technocrats:

    The White Brotherhood must stand up to the The Forces of Darkness!
    Only those santified by the Pure Light of Scientific Reason can
    truly understand why Our Lord came to this miserable mud ball.He
    came many light years ago crossing the Endless Void alone to
    carry the message of the Space Brothers....


    The Council of Chalcedon:

    Masturbation is Murder!!!! Yes, that's RIGHT!!! Women want
    rights over their bodies?? But what rights do 20 million unborn
    babies have over their VERY SOULS!!?? And what about SPERMS!!??
    Don't you think they cry out in horror as they meet needless
    death on the cold, hard tile of the bathroom floor?!!!!

    --------------------

    National Socialist Movement
    PO Box 42
    Chillicothe
    OH 45601
    USA

    Polish the jackboots, honey, we're going to the Party! My
    enemy's enemy is my friend, Right? Sieg...I mean, God Bless
    Amerika!

    --------------------

    Fusion Magazine (and other LaRouche booklets)
    Box 17149,
    Washington DC 20041

    The People's Temple of Politics, with Jonestown just around the
    corner... Do NOT subscribe yourself. These people are so rich
    and so off the wall they're scary... Approach with caution; these
    guys can afford to use the kind of tactics the poorer hate groups
    can only fantasize about....

    --------------------

    National Federation For Decency
    PO Drawer 2440
    Tupelo MS 38803

    Bet you thought sex was NATURAL, right? Wrong! It's evil and
    depraved and practised in the dark by twisted, dopesucking
    buttfucking commie pinko queers like YOU!

    --------------------

    Christian National Socialist White America Party
    Box 1133
    Pacific Palisades
    CA 90272

    What can you say? Put your MP on their mailing list.

    --------------------

    Christians Awake
    PO Box 3513
    West End Station
    Birmingham
    AL 35211

    All politicians are under the control of UFO Zionist Freemasons!
    Even Jesus is the AntiChrist --- half of the time!!! One issue
    of their magazine goes into mind-boggling detail showing how the
    mathematical dimensions of the Washington monument prove that it
    is a phallic symbol erected by Masonic Jews and Catholic Devils.

    --------------------

    Action Amenities
    1093 Broxton Ave
    Suite 567
    Los Angeles
    CA 90024

    Hate-psychosis materials for the seriously stoned. Psycho-racist
    rant cassettes and spiritually obscene materials.... That's Right!
    Love Me ---- or Die!

    --------------------

    Christian Anti-Communist Crusade
    227 E.Sixth St
    Box 890
    Long Beach
    CA 90801-0941

    Name says it all. Stereotypes apply here. Put your local Church
    on their mailing list. Wait, what if they're ALREADY on it?

    --------------------

    Spiral Feedback
    PO Box 80323
    Lincoln
    NE 68501

    George Bush is about to put everyone in concentration camps!
    Ronald Reagon was a Disney created Android! Freedom of Choice
    is a Tool of Satan! The Pope is the AntiChrist! Time is running
    out!

    --------------------

    Spiral Mobius
    Spiral Enterprises
    347 N.Union Station
    Kennet Square
    PA 19348

    Government-built UFOs! Clone Androids of high US officials!
    Gang rapes by alien bloodsuckers maquerading as
    telecommunications engineers, ice-creams salespeople and
    intelligence operatives!

    --------------------

    Truth Missionaries of Positive Accord
    PO Box 42772
    Evergreen Park
    IL 60642

    Listen Unheeding Earth-Fools...Are YOU one of the assigned
    creatures? No? Well bad luck, pal, because you'll miss out on the
    Milk Rays from the Black Hole, Eternal Youth, Riches Beyond Your
    Wildest Dreams, and ETERNAL LIFE --- or your MONEY BACK!!!

    --------------------

    Asatru Free Assembly
    PO Box 1754
    Breckenridge
    TX 76024-1754

    Hoar-Frost Giants LIVE! If you're into Marvel Comix Thor, you'll
    feel right at home amongst these hairy 'Doctors For Wotan'
    Frolic with burly red-bearded Agar and the other Dwarf-Lords at
    the Northern Lights Hot Tub and Spa!

    --------------------

    Entertaining Demons Unawares
    SouthWest Radio Church
    PO Box 1144
    Oklahoma City
    OK 73101

    Star Wars/Dungeons and Dragons and WonderWoman's AntiChrist
    Satanic connections in horrifying detail. You'll be raptured to
    death over this one!

    --------------------

    Lighthouse Publications
    2402 E.Denmar Avenue
    Lufkin
    TX 75901

    Cloned Homo Nazi Punks In YOUR Future. Gags and restraining
    straps not included.

    --------------------

    Aryan Nations
    Church of Jesus Christ Christian
    Box 362
    Hayden Lake
    ID 83835

    You don't even need to play it backwards! Yes! 'Bye Bye Miss
    American Pie' is an unbelievably detailed piece of Biblical
    Prophecy! This one song reveals the 'decisive struggle' between
    America and the heathen armies gathering on our central american
    doorstep. Yes! MORE will be REVEALED!!!!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Let us not speak of Ferraris and Audis and other pacifiers of the
    CON generation. Those adult playthings that are sucked upon to
    please the Andrew Jacksonheads in our pockets. Pablumstyles of
    the Rich and would-be-famous.

    Let us speak instead of the Xists Giant Terrarium, that ozone depleted
    chunk of rock we call the Earth. It is now nearly 2000 years since
    a guy was nailed to a tree for saying how nice it would be if we would
    all give each other some slack.

    Things are even weirder now than they were then and this is the first
    run-on sentence of the third paragraph and if you don't like it, well
    kill me, and I'll just keep right on talking, er, typing, er having
    telepathy with this silicon life form because I just had a Margarita
    on a Sunday afternoon after decorating the house because the CON says
    I should and I don't want to blow my cover just yet because great things
    are in store for the following solar year that the CON says is 1991 but
    really isn't because they've brainwashed us all and changed the calendar
    on us and decided not to tell the really stupid people because they might
    panic and then the CON would have a whole pile of excrement on their
    collective appendages and the Sunday afternoon Sun coming through my
    office window is setting on my would-be-bleeding head and Frosty the
    Snowman is on the root window of my Xist Window screen and I'm feeling
    a little...

    Oh wow. There's a cloud outside my window that looks like a flying
    Saucer.

    Theeey're Heeeeere.

    --
    Krazy Little-endian MoFo
    Clench of the Pin-shaped Head of Benny
    uunet!wang!gozer!klm

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Just sitting here reading my copy of 0.9 NeXT manuals, and low and
    behold , on page 171 "Bob" appears:

    [instructions for the format of a data document]:

    "For example, to set the value of a field to

    J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

    enter the value

    "J.R. ""Bob"" Dobbs"

    not much going on here on a late, weird Friday afternoon, so I thought
    Bob had done "it" to us again!!!

    scb
    --
    Steven C. Blair Computer Services Manager
    Frame Technology Inc. 2911 Zanker Road San Jose, Ca. 95134 Pick-A-Bone: scb@frame.com sblair@riacs.edu frame!scb@ames.arc.nasa.gov
    UUCP: {backbone(ames,adobe,riacs,vsi1)}!frame!nevdull!scb

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    YES, you should MOST CERTAINLY call:


    \ ______________ /
    | |
    -| Banished CPU |-
    |______________|
    / \
    __________________________
    [__________________________]
    _ _
    [_] Not Recommended by [_]
    _ _
    [_] Thought Police [_]
    __________________________
    [__________________________]


    o System Operator: Maynard "the Main Nerd"
    o BBS software: RemoteAccess v1.01 and Waffle v1.64
    o Most relevant hardware:
    o 300-38,400 bps (MNP 1-5, v32, v42, v42bis) Intel 9600EX modem
    o 675-megabyte 16ns Maxtor hard drive
    o Expanding and still under construction! We plan to go
    MULTI-LINE soon!
    o We plan to have regular Usenet news feeds soon!
    o No usage fees at this time!
    o Open to callers starting 00:01 AM, Friday, 08-09-91!
    o Telephone number: (503) 232-6566


    All points of view are welcome!
    Primarily dedicated to FREEDOM OF SPEECH
    Also dedicated to EXPOSING and FIGHTING FASCISM and RACISM
    The Sysop is DISGUSTED with ISRAEL'S POLICIES!


    Support FREEDOM OF SPEECH! Read and speak FREELY about
    controversial things that are CENSORED elsewhere! Download and
    save COMPLETELY LEGAL (in the U.S.), EXTREMELY REVEALING texts --
    easily among the MOST FREQUENTLY CENSORED in the WORLD! Exercise
    your right to INTELLECTUAL FREEDOM! Find out who is CONTROLLING
    HISTORY, the MEDIA, and the GOVERNMENT in America and elsewhere,
    EVEN AS YOU READ THIS!
    ^^^^ ^^ ^^^ ^^^^ ^^^^

    Keep freedom ALIVE!

    Call today!

    (503) 232-6566

    _____________________________________________________________
    | |
    | Please TELL YOUR FRIENDS about Banished CPU. This ad tends |
    | to be censored. |
    |_____________________________________________________________|

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Summary: execution of Those Who Prefer Miracle Whip
    Sender: Rev. Moses of the Dobbsodoxic Clench,3rd pyroneural orthonoxious synod

    (This is about to be a public service message from the Screamin' Church o' de Epilectic Jesus, so, like, listen up)

    Yeah....so the Stark Fist had grabbed me on that Special Part, I guess it must have been the Stark Fist of Retrieval tryin' to retrieve some o' my genetic material, and it was pretty close, but I guess it's presence triggered some Conspiracy sensors, and they turned off the hot water in my shower, and the Fist just fled and it took most of my slack with it...Yeah, I guess it's true what they say, that
    HE WHO TOUCHES HIMSELF SHALL EAT THE BREAD OF AFFLICTION,
    but it's a tastier bread than the homogenized pablum the Conspiracy shoves
    down our throats...we swallow-not-spit and think we like it....
    man, the Con is everywhere...it's all around us...it's fat ladies in checkered dresses beating their children in the A&P...it's Christ without a penis...it's Presidents of these United Castor-head Pussies of America that look like they can't get erections anymore...it's waves radiating from your TV and telephone and family pets at subliminal levels advocating consumerism and life-without- mind...it's the whorship of millions of Americans of an obese aging unfropped Elvis...it's wave after wave of cattle mutilations sweeping the Midwest with the Xist-controlled media limiting the coverage of them to the Weekly World News, the only non-Con paper around...but I guess you knew all that...yeah, when they let me out they gave me a piece of paper that said my mind is OK,
    I got it right here...oh, wait, that's my brother's, he's still inside... anyway, how many people do you know that got a piece of paper says their mind's OK? I bet those ladies down at Job Service who threw me out don't have one, although actually what I have is a loaner mind they had lying around at the Place, they really kept my mind, I didn't like the idea at first but after their drugs and treatments under the Machine I came to see that it was best that my mind be kept there for analysis and experimentation, for the safety
    of humanity...Yeah, it's true that I've been bad...slackless...I've taken the Con's false drugs and partaken of it's false sex...but I repent, and I pray:
    O "BoB", you know that I am a fucker, a dickwad, shithead, and a pee-monger
    But "BoB", as you see me in my...naked glory
    Glorify me, that I may glorify YEE, yeah YEE who was were not the prophet spoken of by the prophet Eez-a--pee when he saith: Dokters fer BoB...and yet was somehow unconnected to the later slaying of John Lennon. Yeah, you know that Hypercleats, he ate my brain and vomited my mind back up into my brain pan ...I think there's some of my brain still in there with the diced carrots and creamed corn...but you know, I'm not sure.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I walked in to the Burger King the
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ other day, and told the woman at the
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ register that I had misdialed Fiji.
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ She said she couldn't give me instant
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ credit. I said, "AT&T always did".
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ She blubbered, "But you're not dealing
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ with AT&T!" "Well I am NOW!" I said
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ as I stormed out the door. Then I
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ walked to the nearest pay phone,called
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ the operator and ordered a Whopper.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@ $ $ $ $ $
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ 1 3 0 1 3
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@ |
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ -+-
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@ j
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ His Rightful Assholiness
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ $20
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@--WOOF! D R O N F The pipe is
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ R N alive!
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ O O
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ N R
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ F N O R D
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Pen up your Nose! No One is Safe!
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Send all negotiable securities to:
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PO Box 30904
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Raleigh, NC 27622
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23
  • From Larry Sneeringer@RICKSBBS to All on Monday, February 23, 2026 07:49:00
    $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ HOLY TEMPLE of MASS CONSUMPTION $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ *N*E*W*S* $$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ Issue #9, but who's counting? $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    the best things in life are F R E E
    F R E E
    F R E E
    For more info, send all your money to:

    Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    PO Box 30904 SLACK@ncsu.edu
    Raleigh, NC 27622 Finer BBS's everywhere

    This is the first issue of the HToMC News in nearly a year. Only the
    extremely slackful mail from Priestesses Beth and MB saved us.

    NEWS since the last time:

    Washington DC Pro-Choice Rally: Largest rally ever held in the
    capital. Several Dobbsheads sighted; favorite sport was lobbing
    tennis balls onto the White House lawn, much to the chagrin of the
    Secret Service spooks. Disappointingly few anti-choice demonstrators
    to harrass, although they all took a copy of The Pamphlet.

    DragonCon in Atlanta: Successful Gut-Blowout in Room 538, with the
    "Bob"'s Blood drink quickly running out: not enough time to kill
    another "Bob". This event was also covered by MTV.

    WorldCon in Orlando, Florida over Labor Day Weekend. Yeah, I know,
    this also overlaps with the World SubGenius Convention in Chicago,
    but the WSC is staged to draw the bobbies away from the *real* party.

    HToMC will be at PhenomiCon this year- see ad in this issue.

    Keep those cards and letters pouring in! Due to the new zine format,
    drawings and other artwork will also be accepted for upcoming issues.

    DOBBS SIGHTINGS:

    Flaming Carrot Comics #28
    Dark Horse Comics
    10956 SE Main St.
    Milwaukie, OR 97222

    Dobbs helps uncover the secret of the Man in the Moon

    Hyena #1
    Tundra Publishing Ltd.
    320 Riverside Dr.
    Northampton, MA 01060

    THE RETURN OF PEE DOG! Plus, an entire magazine of
    worthy stories and artwork. Destined to be a classic!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    A New MacDonalds Advert
    by mathew

    There's a difference at MacDonalds
    Come and eat here if you dare
    Our latest restaurant's open
    It's just off Tienanmen Square

    To our friends the Chinese government [Neat picture here, if you
    We give our hearty thanks had the hardcopy version,
    They've cleared away the rubble pink boy!]
    And they've hidden all the tanks

    It's fun for all the family
    Please bring your children too
    We love kids at MacDonalds
    We've a special place for you

    The clown Ronald MacDonald
    Has not arrived here yet
    He's giving forced abortions
    To the women of Tibet

    He's rounding up the dissidents
    The students and the rest
    For summary execution
    Via a bullet in the chest

    Come join us at MacDonalds
    And help us make a buck
    When it comes to human rights abuse
    We couldn't give a fuck

    That's the difference at
    MacDonalds you'll enjoy

    --------------------------------------
    J. Walter Thompson, a huge ad agency, has a test for all wannabe
    copywriters. They print it every few years as a full page ad in many
    major newspapers. They call the campaign "Write if you want work."

    My response to the question, "Write the history of the
    United States in 100 words or less":

    Creation. Evolution. Civilization. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation. Representation? Declaration. Revolution. Celebration. Constitutionalization. Election. Inauguration. Succession. Institutionalization. Conflagration. Migration. Plantation. Expansion. Destination Manifestation. Annexation. Secession. Rebellion. Abolition. Emancipation Proclamation. Assassination. Reconstruction. Industrialization. Assassination. Invention. Transportation. Urbanization. Exploitation. Stratification. Assassination. Unionization. Protection. Regulation. Suffrage Extension. Balkanization. Destruction. League of Nations. Prohibition. Immigration. Depression. Socialization. Construction. Isolation. Deterioration. Penetration. Fission-n-Fusion. Annihilation. Radiation. Polarization. Militarization. Partition. Persecution. Automation. Failed Invasion. Assassination. Investigation. Division. Demonstration. Mind Alteration. Space Exploration. Bra Incineration. Obfuscation. Resignation. Elation. Stupification. Abortion. Stagflation. Gas Station. Computerization. Communication. Deregulation. Pollution. Deforestation. Kinder, Gentler Nation. Reunification. Reconciliation. Verification. Recession. Demarcation. Obliteration. Glorification. Education?

    copyright 1992 david hyatt -- don't rip it off if you're taking the
    same test!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    AWESOME NEW IDEAS FOR NINTENDO VIDEO GAMES THAT WILL BRING IN MUCH $$$


    After a year sharing a dorm with a roomate who's purpose in life was to
    play video games, I've noticed that just about all video games are of
    the hack/slash/bonk/kill everything you see on the screen variety. Even
    the so called "educational" software titles gave up a long time ago.
    Video games have no redeeming qualities, but perhaps a new idea will bring
    in a waft of fresh air, and make the inventor rich as well.


    IDEA #1:

    Flower Delivery Man- You are Humphrey T. Widdleshuns, a delivery
    man for a florist. The object of the game is to bring happiness and
    sunshine to all your customers and flower recipitents. You get points
    for driving your delivery van in a safe and courteous manner, and the
    happier the world is, the more points you get. The 'fire' button makes
    your character smile, so if you smile at a passer by, you get more points.
    The other fire button makes your character say, "Have a nice day!".

    You go up on different levels, with different scenarios. First level would
    be easy. You deliver flowers to people in sleepy Winnionia, Idaho, where
    life is easy and everyone is nice. You go up through New York city,
    downtown LA, Crack neighborhoods in DC, conquering all the unhappy people
    with gifts of flowers and love. The last level is in the Serbia/Yugoslovokian
    border, where you must melt the hearts of grizzled rebel leaders with
    a slavo of "Have a nice day!" (In Serbianish, of course) and smiles.

    The game ends when the whole world is singing in harmony and there's
    sunshine and happiness everywhere, and all the leaders of the world
    hold a big barbecue where *everyone* is invited in your honor.


    IDEA 2#

    Maybe peace and happiness isn't what people want, so might as well
    cut the crap and give 'em what they want. You are Captain H.T. Bludd,
    veteran from the Star Troopers. Your mission is to crush the enemy, the
    Orinians, with the latest Star Trooper battlecruiser. Your battlecruiser
    is big and massive, with unlimited shields, endless supply of enemy seeking
    fusion missles, two billion anti-matter bombs, fifty seven hull mounted
    laser cannons, special "energy wave" disruptors, orbiting fire drone
    assistants, computer-controlled target aquisition, three hundred "smart
    bombs", cobalt space mines, super-warp light speed, auto-repair, and
    everything goes off at once when you push the fire button. And that's
    just to start out, and you get more weapons as the mission progresses.
    The Orinians, on the other hand, are centuries behind weapons technology
    compared to the Star Troopers. The best defense the Orinians are able to
    come up with are a thin spread of slow-moving chemically powered single
    man space capsules, with only a weak laser for offensive capabilities
    and don't even have any shields. Blowing up the Orinians' home planet
    is a piece of cake, since your ship is automatically navigated, and
    all you have to do is hold down the fire button. It'll sell like
    hotcakes, I assure you.

    Derrick

    ============================================================================

    "Can God make a penis so big that even he can't masturbate it?"
    [Jim Bakker]

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    From: jalb@geocub.geocub.fr (Jean-Alain Le Borgne)
    Subject: Advance Registration

    Hi, here is the Pope of Spametics speaking. This is *not*
    advertising, this is your first chance to join the

    < First And Last Multiversal Church Of Spam >
    [ A Schismatic Division Of The Church Of The Subgenius ]
    { And Of The First Church Of Appliantology }

    All you have to do is send me back the following Advance Registration
    Form, and the Day you perform your Spametics Deed and show the Pope
    Tangible Proof of it, you will in Return receive your very own
    Officially Certified, Sacred Title from the Church.

    1. Administriva

    Last name: .....................
    First name: .....................
    Birthdate: .....................

    2. Title (check one):
    _ _ _
    |_| Popess |_| Cardinal |_| Rabbi
    |_| Buddha |_| Messiah |_| Prophet
    |_| Archbishop |_| Bishop |_| Priest
    |_| Binge Master |_| Holy Ignoramus |_| Sacred Bum
    |_| Other: ............

    3. Totem (check one):
    _ _ _
    |_| Bill the Cat |_| Dr Gonzo |_| Zippy the Pinhead
    |_| Other: ............

    Thank You.
    J.-A. L. B.





    [There's another neat-o graphic
    here, but you're just TSOL.




    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    OFFICE ART Page #1


    [But, that's graphic too. Tough Luck.]


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    PHENOMICON 1992 announcement:

    November 13-15
    Castlegate Hotel and Conference Center
    Atlanta, GA

    Guests include:
    William Gibson
    Bruce Sterling
    Johnathan Vankin
    Adam Parfey
    Rev. Ivan Stang
    Kerry Thornley

    Rates: $20 August 1 until October 1, 1992
    $25 at the door

    Make checks payable to PhenomiCon

    Mail to: P.O. Box 12141
    Atlanta, GA 30355-2141

    SASE appreciated

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Ways to be Offensive at a Funeral

    1. Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make
    love with you.
    2. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find
    your contact lens.
    3. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
    4. Tell the widow that you're the deceasd's gay lover.
    5. Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
    6. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
    7. Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're
    not in it.
    8. Ask the widow to give you a kiss.
    9. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
    10. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can
    sneak him into the coffin.
    11. Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
    12. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
    13. Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased.
    14. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will
    can be read before the funeral is over.
    15. Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor
    who can't afford firewood.
    16. Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
    17. Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
    18. Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you.
    19. Take up a collection to pay off the deceased' gambling debts.
    20. Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on.
    21. Put crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss.
    22. Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
    23. If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose.
    24. When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's
    mouth.
    25. Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream
    "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint.
    26. At the cemetary take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
    27. Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin.
    28. Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried.
    29. Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for
    back-taxes.
    30. Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face
    while praising the deceased.


    [Gee, you're really missing out
    on some earthshattering graphics]


    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The Truth of it is that Love shits in
    @@@@@@@^^~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~^^@@@@@@@@ your mouth. And the taste of Love's
    @@@@@@ @@@@@@ shit is an acquired taste of both
    @@@@@ w ww wi @@@@@ fools and geniuses alike. It is
    @@@@, ~ ~~ ~I @@@@ necessary for survival. Keats was
    @@@@' ; ,-@< @@@@ wrong. Beauty is not Truth. And Truth
    @@@@ _eW@@@ `@@@ has nothing to do with Beauty. Maybe
    @@@@ @@@@@@@q j@@@@@@@ O @@@ they had an affair in the late 18th
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@w___,w@@@@@@@@ @ @@@ century, but then Beauty dumped Truth,
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ } @@@ and Love shit in Truth's mouth and the
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I @@@ rest has been sour milk ever since.
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@*@[ i @@@ This is the reason that all lovers are
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ ; @@@ insane. Every last one of them. They
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[] | ]@@@ have gone crazy from the taste of
    @@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@[][ | @@@ Love's shit. We are all but Turds
    @@@@ ~_._ ~@@@@@@@~ ____~ @ @@@ in an Ocean of Love.
    @@@@ ;;- `@@@@@' @@@ a mr HEINOUS/RICHH joint
    @@@@ _~ ,en, `@@@~ en `@ ]l J@@@
    @@@@ -()- @@@/ _-()- @ ]L @@@
    @@@@ , @@w@ww+ @@@ww``,,@w@ ][ @@@@ A Snake!
    @@@@ . @@ @ @@@~-zz..@@@ ][ @@@@
    @@@@, @@@@www@@@ @@@@@@@ww@@@@@[ @@@@
    @@@@. @@@@&&&@@@ @@&@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@@@ His Rightful Assholiness
    @@@@@ || @@@@@@P' @@Q@@@@@@@@@@@[:C@@@@ J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
    @@@@@_ @@@@@@ @@ @@@@@@@@@@ ;$@@@@
    @@@@@@w| '@@P~ ,@@@@-w, wU@@w'],@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@ @@ P]@@@=~j ~Y@@^ ] @@@@@@ $20
    @@@@@@@_ !@@t+ ~~ ]]@@@@@@
    @@@@@@@[ - -J@@T# @@@@@@
    @@@@@@@@,@ @@, _,,,,,,,y ,w@@[ ,@@@@@@@--WOOF! D R O N F The pipe is
    @@@@@@@@ @ @@ C !@@ @@@@@@@ R N alive!
    @@@@@@@@@ i @w. ====--_@@@@@ @@@@@@@@ O O
    @@@@@@@@@ @2' '@@@@~ @@@@@@@@ N R
    @@@@@@@@@@`,P~ / ~^^^^Y@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ F N O R D
    @@@@@@@@@@@. y @@@@ @@@@@@@@@
    @@@@^^=^@@^ ^' .@@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@ Pen up your Nose! No One is Safe!
    @@@ , ,ww,w@@@@ _@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@@_xJw w , @@@@@@@&~_@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ @~ ~ ,@ @@@@@@@P _@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Send all negotiable securities to:
    @@ U. ,@@@,_____ _,J@@@@@@@@@@@@@
    @@ v; @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Holy Temple of Mass Consumption
    @@L `' ,@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ PO Box 30904
    @@~ _-@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Raleigh, NC 27622
    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@


    [Captured Conspiracy Propoganda here]
    ---
    þ Synchronet þ Rick's BBS telnet://ricksbbs.synchro.net:23