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Subject: NEW > Jeans & Fishnets < (4/4)
Date: Thu, 7 Sep 1995 21:07:24 -0500 (CDT)


_The X-Files_: all characters copyright Chris Carter and Ten
Thirteen Productions. They shouldn't have made up something so cool if
they didn't want us to write fan fiction about it. However, i don't
really want to upset them, so no infringement upon their copyrights is intended.

Blue Jeans and Fishnet Stockings (4/4)
An X-Files Story
by Summer

They did the dishes and raced through the
last of the budget, neither wishing to have any
work hanging over them as they watched the
video. Finally, all that was left was the final
statement; Scully motioned for her partner to
give her all the papers. "I'll do the rest," she
said, producing a spool of thread with a needle
stuck through it. "Go fix your jeans, Mulder."
She didn't have to tell him twice; he
snatched the thread and raced to the bathroom to
effect an emergency patching job. Scully grinned
to herself, typed up the very last of the
budget, and stacked everything neatly on an end
table with a pleased sigh. A sneaky thought
occurred to her; she looked through her cassette
collection for an old mix tape, put it in the
stereo and rewound it. In the meantime she went
to the kitchen and placed a packet of Movie
Theater popcorn in the microwave.
When Mulder returned in his repaired
jeans, he was greeted by the buttery aroma of
fresh popcorn and Monty Python's "Lumberjack
Song": `I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I
like to press wild flowers. I put on women's
clothing and hang around in bars. I'm a
lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I
work all day...'
"Very funny, Scully," he called; she
peeked around the corner from the kitchenette, a
wide elvin smile gracing her lovely features.
Mulder wondered how he would ever be able
to thank Byers and Langly for calling off their
plans tonight. He spent most of his time with
Special Agent Scully, but it was something else
altogether to hang around with Dana Scully on a
Sunday afternoon.
He took the pitcher of tea and their
glasses from the dining area and placed them on
the coffee table. Scully appeared, her arms
wrapped around a sizable bowl of popcorn. "Would
you get the lights, please?"
"Absolutely." Mulder turned off the floor
lamps as his partner picked up the remote
control and started the movie. As the FBI
warning lingered on the screen, he kicked his
shoes off and got comfortable on the couch. "Are
you going to say the audience participation
stuff?"
"I haven't even seen this since our
reunion party three years ago, Mulder. I doubt I
remember any of it." She took the other end of
the couch, curling her legs under her and
placing the popcorn between them.
"Will you say what you do remember?
Please?" he requested.
"Watch the movie, Mulder," she said,
refilling her glass of tea. As the music began,
she intoned, "And in the beginning, God said,
`Let there be lips.' " Mulder tore his eyes from
her silhouette to see that a lipsticked mouth
had indeed appeared on the screen. "And there
were. And they were good. Sing."
The mouth opened and the movie began.

Mulder was rather surprised when, during
the wedding that kicked off the first scene, his
partner threw popcorn at the TV saying, "It's
easier to clean up than rice." He followed along
with equanamity, snickering at the occasional
recited comment from Scully that was clearly a
line of audience participation. It was bizarre,
but amusing, and he was thoroughly wrapped up in
it and enjoying the ride when a character in
platform heels and heavy makeup hurled off his
long black cape to reveal sexy black lingerie.
Mulder choked on his popcorn and lost it,
laughing so hard that he nearly tipped over the
bowl. Scully rescued it just in time, asking
anxiously, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm-- Scully! You were IN this
thing?"
"It was fun," she said defensively.
"I bet-- I just wish I'd known about this
in college--" he coughed, took a few swallows of
tea. "This is wonderful," he said. She poked at
his sock feet warningly. "I'm not being
sarcastic, Scully," he assured her. "Run it
back, I've got to hear this song."
Scully hit rewind, checking out her
partner in the glow of the tube; he appeared as
honestly delighted by the absurdity of Rocky
Horror as she had been when she first saw it.
She relaxed. "You want to hear all of `Sweet
Transvestite', hmm... feeling a little
nostalgic?" she teased. "Now I know why you were
asking to borrow my fishnets, Mulder."
"One week," he protested, "and it was all
in the name of higher education."
"Suuure," she chuckled, starting the tape
again at the beginning of the song.

"And crawling..."
"Where?" Scully asked the man on the
television screen.
"On the planet's face... some insects--"
"Called what?"
"Called the human race... were lost in
time--"
"What's your favorite TV show?" Scully
asked.
"Lost in space," he said.
"What does this movie lack?"
"...and meaning."
"Once more, with feeling!"
"Meaning," repeated a chorus of singers.
"Turn off the world!" Scully said as the
man left the room, leaving a lighted globe to
glow in the darkened study. "What a waste of
electricity. The movie's over-- turn off the
world!"
Mulder grinned. He was pretty sure she'd
omitted most of the racy audience commentary,
but it had still been amazing to hear his
straightlaced partner inform the television that
'Castles don't have phones, asshole.'
"Lights on," Scully warned. Mulder covered
his eyes as she stretched to click the floor
lamp on again. "That's it; that's The Rocky
Horror Picture Show."
"Where can I get a copy?" Mulder asked.
"Seriously?"
"Of course! Like you said, considering how
much I love cheesy movies it's pretty amazing
that I never ran into this before. It's dumb and
campy-- it's great!"
Scully had to smile at his enthusiasm.
"You can probably get a used copy from the video
store," she told him. "Until then... here." She
presented a cassette to him before she had a
chance to change her mind.
Mulder stared at the drawing on the case;
it was the videotape of Scully and her friends
performing along with the movie. He looked up at
her. "Are you sure?"
"We're both being silly, Mulder," she
said. "I trust you with my life every day--
surely I can trust you with my pride. Besides,"
she added with an impish grin, "tell anyone, and
I start talking about ripped jeans and new
interpretations of `Dragnet'."
"Deal," he agreed at once, swinging his
legs off the couch and pulling on his shoes.
"Thanks again for helping with the
budget."
"No problem... thanks for dinner."
"See you in Skinner's tomorrow morning."
"Eight sharp. See ya, Scully."

Mulder could hardly wait to get home and
see the videotape. He was rather touched that
Scully had trusted him with it; he'd expected to
have to bug her about it for weeks before she'd
give in. He rushed to his apartment and within
five minutes, he was watching a roomful of
college students dressed in outrageous gothic
paraphernalia work themselves into a frenzy of
anticipation. A thin young man in the black cape
of the main character strutted onto the stage
and greeted them with "HEY YOU FUCKERS!"
The audience cheered.
"In case you're stupid and you don't know
by now, this is the last Rocky of the year--
next week is finals--" the crowd booed-- "I
know, I know-- and then we all get to go home!"
The crowd cheered. A few people started singing
Alice Cooper's "School's Out".
"OKAY, SHUT UP!" the young man on stage
yelled into the microphone. "This year we're
saying goodbye to two graduating cast members
who are going on to the big bad real world in
two more weeks-- everybody, get out here!"
The stage cast filed out chaotically.
Mulder leaned forward, trying to pick Scully out
of the lineup on the screen.
"Our Eddie, Carl Beckett-- Carl, getcher
ass up here--"
"Meatloaf again?" someone yelled from the
audience.
A swarthy young man joined the leader by
the microphone and waved. "Shup! Okay, Carl is
gonna go work for Lumas, Incorporated, doing
business shit, and we're all gonna miss him a
whole lot, so everyone give a scream for Carl!"
The crowd obliged with a roar that forced
Mulder to dive for his remote control and turn
the sound down a bit.
"And also leaving us to go to med school
is everyone's favorite redhead-- we tried to get
her to do Frank again for her last performance,
guys, but if you missed it last semester you're
out of luck. This is gonna be her last time
playing Janet..."
The audience chanted en masse, "Slut! --
Not yet, give her time."
"Three year Rockette veteran, Dana Scully!
Come up here, Dana, we love you."
Mulder goggled as a very young, very
beautiful, very... underdressed Dana Scully came
forward and waved, blowing kisses to the wildly
screaming audience. He couldn't help but recall
that night on their first assignment, when she'd
rushed in a panic into his room and stripped to
her underwear, fearful that marks on her back
matched those of abduction victims. "Mosquito
bites," Mulder mused out loud.
She was similarly attired on that stage,
but her demeanor could not have been more
different as she winked broadly at the camera
and mimicked Marilyn Monroe's famous Seven Year
Itch pose. Half the crowd was screaming her
name.
"Okay," the leader said, "I know you all
want her, but it's time to start the show! Since
it's her last night and she's been with us so
long, Dana's going to introduce it for us...
take it, baby."
Silence fell over the gathering as
somewhere a projector started and for the second
time that night, Fox Mulder heard his partner
intone solemnly, "In the beginning, God said,
`Let there be lips.' And there were. And they
were good. Sing."

By the time the crowd called for the world
to be turned off, Mulder had been completely
blown away. No wonder she had been reluctant to
let him see this, he thought numbly. Surely the
Dana Scully he knew would have felt utterly
ridiculous parading around on a stage in
lingerie and fishnets, as she had at the film's
conclusion. It definitely negated her cool,
professional image.
But as the cast returned to the stage and
took their bows, then descended to join the
party, Mulder really did have new respect for
his partner. Scully was willing to let him see
that she'd been involved with something that
made her feel silly now. Considering the
obstacles he knew she faced as a woman in the
male-dominated FBI, it was really very brave of
her to admit, even to her trusted partner, that
she'd been a bit of a wild child in college.
The picture flickered then resumed, the
same stage slightly later and from a different
angle. A group near the front were helping a
woman onto the stage-- it was Scully, soon
joined by the thin young man who had played the
main character. "We all wanted to tell Dana how
much we love her," he said into the microphone,
"and how much we'll miss her when she
graduates... she's been doing this for three
years now and she's just like family to us.
Right, Riff and Magenta?"
Several voices from the crowd replied,
"Incest is best, if you can't keep it in your
pants, keep it in the family." Scully ducked her
head; her makeup was smeared. Mulder realized
that on that long-ago closing night, she had
been crying. She took the microphone. "I love
you guys," she sniffled. "You're the best
friends ever and I'm going to miss you so much."
The young man hugged her with one arm and
waved the microphone with the other. Several of
the cast members mounted the stage with a
bouquet of flowers and the tape case that was
now sitting on Mulder's coffee table. Scully
accepted the gifts and embraced each of her
friends as the leader explained, "We taped
tonight's show for Dana to treasure always, and
so that we can blackmail her with it when she's
a rich doctor."
Mulder grinned.
"Thanks, everybody," Scully took the
microphone. "Thank you so much..." now she was
smiling broadly through her tears. "I have a
going away present for you too." With that,
twenty-two-year-old Dana Scully, future
pathologist, scientist, skeptic, and FBI agent,
kicked off her high heels, put one foot on a
chair a la The Graduate, and slowly rolled off
her fishnets stockings to toss first one and
then the other to the screaming audience.
Fox Mulder very nearly covered his eyes;
he'd never seen anything quite so innocently
seductive. He settled for pressing his hands
over his mouth as the less tasteful members of
the audience roared, "Take it off, take it all
off!"
Scully took the mike again with a sassy
smile. "Sorry boys, that's all you get."
"We'll see what happens when we get her
drunk at the cast party," the thin young man
laughed, looping his arm casually around her
again. "Which is where we're all going, so we'll
see you next year-- bye everybody!"
"Goodbye!" Scully waved.
The tape ended.
This went beyond mere appreciation, Mulder
decided; he was deeply honored that Scully had
entrusted him with part of her past which was
not only rather embarrassing to her now, but
which had clearly meant a lot to her at the
time. This called for a rallying show of support
for the incredible woman he was lucky enough to
have as his partner.
Mulder reached for the tape case and
looked at the drawing for a long time.

Dana Scully arrived at the office half an
hour early the next morning with the completed
budget in one hand and a long cardboard cylinder
in the other. She dropped off the budget and
bustled down to the basement office, hoping
she'd managed to beat her partner to work for a
change.
He wasn't in their office; Scully cheered
inwardly and hurried to his desk, opening up the
tube to draw out a rolled-up movie poster. She
unfurled the item she had purchased the night
before: a promotional poster advertising Ed
Wood, featuring figures from Plan Nine from
Outer Space and a big shot of Johnny Depp in a
skirt and angora sweater. She ransacked his top
drawer for a permanent marker and signed the
bottom "XOX, From Janet" with a flourish, then
used various objects from the clutter to lay the
poster flat on his desk.
She stood back to admire her handiwork,
knowing her partner would accept the present in
the spirit in which it was given. Scully
intended the gift as a gesture of solidarity;
she was certain that Mulder would understand.
Then she saw that her videotape was on her
desktop, the tape case discreetly turned
signature side up. Scully picked it up and
laughed. Mulder would understand, all right;
under the tape was a photocopy of a paper
labeled "Perspectives on Gender Discrimination".
Just inside the cover page were photos of a
young Fox Mulder-- one of Mulder in normal
clothes and the others showing him outfitted in
fairly convincing makeup, wig, and dress.
Scully checked her watch. She had a few
minutes before she needed to go up and wait in
Skinner's office. She looked at the pictures
again, covering her mouth with her hand to keep
from howling with laughter; she'd need all the
time she could get.

"Come in, Agent Scully," said Assistant
Director Skinner. "Please, sit down."
Scully took a seat, casting a sunny smile
at her partner. Mulder smiled back happily.
Skinner's eyes darted from one to the
other, but he made no comment other than, "I see
that you've already turned in your quarterly
budget, despite your heavy caseload recently.
Excellent work." They both murmured their thank-
yous as he nodded. "I'm certainly glad you got
it out of the way. You're going to need the
time. We've got a case here that looks like an
X-File..."
Both agents listened intently as Skinner
diagrammed the basics of the case and handed
Mulder the file. They were the quintessence of
professionalism as the Assistant Director
dismissed them and they walked briskly down to
the basement office.
The instant the door closed, they looked
at each other and burst into laughter.
Mulder went to his desk, held up the
poster, and shot an enormous grin at her. "Ah, I
LOVED this movie-- thanks, Scully."
"I can't believe you!" she gasped.
"Me? Look who's talking! I was just
letting you know your secret's safe with me,
Scully," he explained, still laughing. "Your
tape-- you were amazing. I'll never tell a soul,
and I was thoroughly impressed."
"The copies of your sociology project were
enough, Mulder, you didn't have to wear those!"
"So why did YOU wear them?" he challenged.
Scully perched on the edge of his desk,
considering her answer. "I wasn't embarrassed
then; there's no reason why I should be now.
I'll wear what I want to wear."
"Exactly," he said, beaming. "Solidarity.
You've supported me through some pretty wild
times; the least I can do is support your wild
times."
Scully blinked, sudden affection blurring
her vision for an instant. She pulled herself
together and looked down at her feet. Under her
slacks, barely visible between the hem and her
shoes, she wore a pair of fishnet stockings.
Mulder propped his feet on his desk, still
grinning as she looked at HIS feet-- where,
under his slacks, barely visible between the hem
and his shoes, he also wore a pair of fishnet
stockings.
"You were right, too," Mulder added
irrepressibly. "Fishnets really are very
comfortable under slacks."

(END)

NOTES: Mulder's taste for Warren Zevon
came from Amperage and Livengoo's great
"Camping" stories. It's a symptom of how nuts i
am about the show and the fan fiction that when
i saw a Warren Zevon tape and remembered that
the artist was mentioned in "Camping", i bought
it at once. The Zevon songs quoted are "Splendid
Isolation" and "Gridlock", both from Transverse
City. Other songs quoted, in order of
appearance: "Always" by Erasure, "Lightning
Crashes" by Live, "You Just Haven't Earned It
Yet, Baby" and "Ask Me" by the Smiths. The other
songs should be credited in the text. Mulder and
Scully's college activities and music
collections are the result of my own fevered
imaginings, so if you don't think it suits the
characters, you have only me to blame. [No,
Sue's to Blame!] Scully's RHPS escapades were
inspired by my friend and roommate, Genna
Totten, who is as intelligent and studious as
Scully, and an avid Rockette and vampire
enthusiast. Mulder's unfortunate accident was
derived from a similar incident at my summer
job, when my partner Chad leaned a little too
far to get a box while wearing an old pair of
jeans.
As always, a rain of roses for Saint
Susan who posts for me-- thanks Susan!
Any comments? Write me. I like mail.
Hope you liked reading the story as much
as i like writing it!

Summer Daze: GADDABer, SYXer, Lone Gunwoman
summer@camelot.bradley.edu


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end of part 4/4


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