• "The Sex-Files," by Steve

    From Jim Singleton@RICKSBBS to All on Tuesday, October 20, 2026 07:14:00
    Hi all,

    Yep, it's me again - Steve, writer of many a bad parody. I've recently
    noticed several messages in this .creative forum regarding X-Files erotica, and how such stories portray Mulder and Scully as being out of character.

    Personally, I'm not terribly fond of X-Files erotica either, for the
    exact same reason. But whenever I see something so controversial in this forum, I just feel like I have to be a part of it1 :^) Therefore, I've written up a little story that is sure to further ruffle your feathers.

    Another reason I'm writing this story is that up till this time, I've
    noticed that only the ladies were writing X-Files erotica. I wondered why this was the case, since men are just as capable of generating smut as the ladies (perhaps even more so). Therefore, I've decided to try my hand at erotica, giving the subject my own spin on things (Uh oh!).


    * * * * WARNING !!! * * * *
    * * * * WARNING !!! * * * *
    * * * * WARNING !!! * * * *


    The following material is ***EROTICA***. It contains scenes of nudity, graphic sex, and bestiality (heh heh, just kidding about that last part).
    In addition, if you do not like seeing Mulder or Scully doing anything that would be out of character, do not read any further. I should warn you that some of the things in this story could be considered deviant behavior, and
    may therefore surprise you. You even might find certain elements of the
    story to be morally repugnant.

    If you are under 18, or are immature, or lack an open mind, or do not have
    a sense of humor, or otherwise easily offended by material of an adult
    nature, ***do not read this story!!!!!***.

    I hereby state that anyone who ignores this warning and proceeds to read
    the story anyway will forfeit all right to criticize or flame me in any
    matter whatsoever regarding to this story.


    * * * * * * * * PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!!! * * * * * * * *


    Here follows "The Sex-Files," by Steven Han, 8/31/1994



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------




    11:57 p.m.
    Washington, D.C.

    Fox Mulder walked forth through the park in the dark of midnight. He
    passed an old man sleeping on a park bench with a flock of pigeons
    nearby. Walking towards the center of the park, Mulder approached
    a lone empty bench near a pond. Glancing around, he sat down.

    A few minutes passed, and then a few more. Bored, Mulder gazed around
    the park, its few inhabitants barely visible in the moonlight. Off to
    his right he saw a gazebo in the distance, cradling the outline of a
    couple sitting in a lovers' embrace. To his left, Mulder saw nothing
    but trees and the full moon high above.

    Minutes turned into hours as Mulder sat and waited. He shifted around on
    the bench, then got up and took a stroll around the area. Glancing down
    at his watch, he saw that it was past two a.m. It appeared his contact
    wasn't going to show after all.

    Out of the corner of his eye, Mulder noticed someone staggering in
    his direction. The figure was hunched over and making some sort of noise.
    As the person approached closer, Mulder noticed it was a woman, and that
    she was coughing. Her head was drooped over as she tried to keep her
    balance and stay on the bike path.

    Not noticing anyone else around, Mulder turned in her direction to see
    if she might need some help. He walked towards her slowly at first, not certain what her problem might be.

    As he got near her, the woman raised her head, and Mulder guessed she was
    in her early twenties. She was wearing a black leather biker jacket,
    complete with chains and studs, over a black T-shirt with a white skull-and-crossbones logo. She also had on blue jean cutoffs and fishnet stockings. Her hair was dyed some strange colors, which were difficult to make out in the dim moonlight. But upon approaching closer, Mulder could swear her hair looked like shades of... orange and blue.

    The girl looked up at Mulder and eyed him curiously. She raised a thin cigarette up to her mouth and took a puff. She blew out smoke in Mulder's face, causing him to wince in pain.

    "So, what are you, some kind of flasher?" asked the girl, pointing
    towards Mulder's London Fog raincoat. Mulder smiled and was about to
    respond when the girl bent over and started coughing uncontrollably.

    ".. *Cough* ... Ack...." belched the girl, before slowly raising her head again. She pulled the joint back up to her face, apparently fighting the
    urge to take another draw. Wincing, she threw down the smoke and stomped
    on it with her black leather boots. "Goddamned cheap reefers, man - I
    swear, our country's quality control is going straight to hell."

    Mulder carefully studied her appearance. Outwardly, she seemed to be a
    common street urchin, but her demeanor suggested much more. Behind the bleached and dyed hair, behind the two-inch long black eyelashes, behind
    the nose ring and safety-pin earrings, and behind the reefer smoke she was blowing in his face, Mulder was somehow intensely attracted to her, like a
    moth to a flame. Despite her garish exterior, she possessed an almost
    magical pull; there was just something about her, hiding behind her harsh appearance - a lure of a radiant intelligence, of a deeply hidden passion,
    of an inner beauty...

    Mulder quickly shook off the thought. Not wanting to appear like a
    creep, he asked her, "Well, hello miss. It's rather late to be out
    walking alone like this. Do you require any help?"

    She looked back at him, staring him squarely in the eyes. "Hey, what's
    it to ya, buster? And just what are *you* doing out here?"

    Mulder smiled and pulled out his badge. "Not to worry, miss. My name
    is Fox Mulder, and I'm with the FBI."

    "Pretty snazzy badge, guy," responded the girl, unimpressed. "I bet you
    got that thing just to pick up chicks."

    Mulder grinned and put away the badge. "No miss, that's not exactly my
    style. Now what exactly are you doing here at this time of night? And
    are you feeling okay?"

    "Hey, I don't need no fed asking me questions. What, are you conducting
    some sort of an investigation here or something? Chasing criminals?"

    Mulder smiled as he shook his head. "No miss, no investigations tonight.
    I was just supposed to meet someone..." He stopped himself, although he
    hardly suspected her of being one of them. He just didn't think she'd
    find his story too interesting.

    "Well, looks like you got stood up, eh? Too bad, since... *hack*!" She
    bent over again and started coughing uncontrollably.

    Mulder stepped up to her and gently put his hands on her shoulders.
    "Miss, I'm going to take you to see a doctor. You need help."

    The girl jerked her head back up and stepped away from Mulder. "Hey, I'm fine! I don't need to go to a stinking hospital! I'm just a little
    tired..." She then started to stagger about, looking dizzy.

    Mulder approached closer and grabbed her shoulders to keep her from
    falling. "Well then, where do you live? I'll take you home and you
    can get some rest."

    The girl looked at Mulder and grinned. "Home, heh, what's that?"

    "You don't have a place?"

    "Hell, the last place I had, I shared with two dudes and three gals.
    But they were total losers, all of them. And that was back in Cleveland."

    Mulder shook his head, wondering what to do with this girl. Finally, he
    said, "Look - I don't think it's a good idea for you to be hanging out
    here in the middle of nowhere. You can stay at my place for the night,
    and in the morning we can figure out what to do about you."

    "Why, you're a ge-nu-ine prince, Mr. Mulder. Now you wouldn't happen to
    be of those sick perverts, are you?"

    "Only during a full moon, Miss. Then I grow a beard and sprout a pair of
    long canines," replied Mulder, taking her arm in his. "Now what exactly
    is your name?"

    "Tani," said the girl, grinning at his sense of humor.

    "Okay, Tani," said Mulder softly, as he led her away from the bike path.
    He felt her leaning her head and shoulders into him as they proceeded to
    walk together towards his car, locked in step.

    Mulder began to sense that beneath her tough exterior, Tani hid a soft
    and sensitive heart. He figured her appearance was probably just a shell,
    a front she used to keep people away. But away from what, he wondered.

    Tani pulled her arm out of Mulder's and wrapped it around his waist,
    leaning into his chest. It made walking more difficult for the both of
    them, but Mulder didn't mind. It seemed that after her initial period of apprehension, she was beginning to warm up to him.

    He stole a glance down at her face, although he could only see the part of
    it that wasn't buried in his coat. But behind the ratty hair and the three earrings on her left ear, she exuded a radiant air of sensuality, an intoxicatingly pungent scent of womanhood. Or perhaps it was just that
    she hadn't showered in a while.






    11:35 p.m.
    Syracuse, N.Y.

    Dana Scully looked up at the sign by the front entrance to the club.
    "Lady's Night Out," it said. Not exactly a family-type outfit, but this
    was where the clues were supposed to be. She shrugged and stepped inside.

    Scully walked cautiously down the steps and into the dark and smoky
    clubroom. She noticed groups of women sitting around the tables, laughing
    and throwing back drinks. She looked around and wondered who here might
    have been witness to the abduction.

    A young waitress walked by and said to her, "Ma'am, it's a two drink
    minimum. What're you going to have?"

    Scully turned to her and tried to explain, "Actually, I'm just here
    looking for some information."

    "Sorry ma'am, the two drink minimum applies to everyone - just doing my
    job."

    "Oh allright, fine. Give me two ginger ales," said Scully.

    Scully approached a table with three women sitting around it. The women
    were all in their thirties and wearing entirely too much makeup.

    Scully spoke. "Excuse me ladies, but have you heard anything about an abduction of a retired man around here recently?"

    One of the women turned briefly in her direction and growled. "Hey
    babe, leave us alone, will ya? the show's almost about to start."

    Flushed, Scully turned around and sat down at an empty table. She started eyeing the other women in the club, to see if any of them might be more helpful...

    Suddenly, she was bolted from her seat by the loud noise of amplified
    music. Turning towards the source of the sounds, she saw the stage
    lighting up and the women turning and clapping towards it.

    Moments later, she heard the sound of gunshots in the air. Instinctively,
    she reached for her gun. But before she could pull it out, she noticed someone stepping out onto the stage.

    Bouncing onto the stage was more like it, actually. Scully was relieved
    to see that it was just a performer, a young man dressed in a cowboy
    outfit complete with fake six-shooters. But upon closer inspection,
    Scully was surprised to find that the guns were nearly the only thing he
    had on. Otherwise, he had only a cowboy hat and a skimpy bikini bottom
    to his credit.

    Scully noticed the women around her suddenly howling and yelling at the near-naked performer. Some got up on their chairs and whistled at the
    man, while others twirled scarves and hankies in the air. The man pranced
    out onto the stage and began dancing and gyrating about wildly.

    "Whooo-oooh!" shouted one woman, leaning forward towards the stage.
    "Come to mama, baby!" said another, jumping up and down on her chair.
    "Take it off!" yelled another woman, getting up on a table. She had
    to be pulled off by her friends.
    "Ride'em, cowboy!" yelled another woman, elbowing her way to the front
    of the crowd gathering by the stage.
    "No, ride *ME*, cowboy!" yelled another woman, waving dollar bills in
    the air.
    "Take it off, take it *all* off!" shouted another woman, reaching over
    onto the stage and sticking a roll of dollar bills down the performer's
    bikini briefs.

    Scully was flabbergasted at the display of unadulterated estrogen taking
    place in front of her. She was about to get up and excuse herself from
    the whole mess when the waitress returned and approached her table.

    "Two ginger ales - that'll be eight dollars, ma'am."

    "Eight dollars, for two ginger ales?" asked Scully, looking up
    incredulously.

    "I'm sorry, but I just work here, ma'am," replied the waitress politely.

    Scully begrudgingly looked through her purse and pulled out a ten-dollar
    bill. "Here, keep the change," she said, handing the bill to the waitress.

    "Thank you, ma'am," said the waitress, turning to walk away.

    Just then, it sank in to Scully that the waitress, unlike the lusty women
    in the club, had been quite courteous and polite. Perhaps she might be of
    some help.

    "Uh, excuse me, waitress?" Scully asked, stopping her as she was about to leave.

    "Yes, ma'am?" said the waitress, turning around.

    Scully smiled up at her. "You don't need to call me ma'am. I'm special
    agent Dana Scully, with the FBI," she said, flashing her badge. "I'm here investigating a case. Perhaps you can help me."

    The waitress approached closer and responded. "Sure, anything I can do to help, ma'am, er - Ms. Scully"

    Scully marveled at the waitress's innocence. Even in the dim light,
    she could tell the girl couldn't be much older than twenty-one. Her soft, sandy brown hair ran down to her shoulders, framing her youthful
    heart-shaped face like a picture in a treasured locket.

    Somehow, Scully was mysteriously drawn to the warmth of the girl's face,
    which exuded a wonderfully honest and endearing charm. She noticed that although the girl wasn't wearing much makeup, her natural beauty shined through brighter than any cosmetics could allow.

    "Have a seat, Ms.....," said Scully, as she noticed the waitress's slim but curvy figure.

    "Lemma. Lemma Swansong," replied the waitress, grabbing the chair across
    from Scully and seating himself.

    "Lemma - what an interesting name," said Scully, amused.

    "Well, I'm a mathematician. Or a math student, actually. And my mother
    and father were both mathematicians, you see. And their parents before
    them, and their parents' parents, and so on," said Lemma, scooting her
    chair forward. "Now what was this you wanted to ask me about?"

    Scully leaned forward to get a better look at Lemma's eyes. The soft,
    soulful circles appeared to be green, but they could just as well have
    been blue or gray in this light. "Well, Lemma, I'm here investigating the circumstances surrounding the disappearance of an old man near U.S. 41,
    just outside of town. They say that all traces of him disappeared, with
    the sole exception of his shoes."

    Lemma's eyes perked up. "Why, you mean Mr. Roberts? that's been the talk
    of the town the past couple of days! I've heard from over a dozen people
    who saw him shortly before he disappeared, Ms. Scully"

    Scully grew fascinated. "Call me Dana. Now what do you know of the circumstances surrounding the abduction?"

    Suddenly, the gruff bartender shouted over to Lemma. "Hey honeybuns, I'm
    not paying ya to chat with the customers; go get their orders!"

    Embarrassed, Lemma got up and apologized to Scully. "Ms. Scully, er,
    Dana, I'm sorry, but I have to tend to the tables. If you stick around,
    I can talk to you some more later."

    Scully smiled mischievously towards Lemma, raising a glass. "I'll be
    here," she winked.





    2:45 a.m.
    Washington, D.C.

    Mulder helped Tani up the stairs and into his apartment. As he flicked
    on the lights, Tani marveled at the messy state of his pad.

    "Why, I don't remember a place this messy since I had to sleep in the
    dumpster a coupla months ago," said Tani, kicking pizza boxes out of
    her way.

    Mulder collected up the garbage lying around the floor and cleared up
    the sofa. "I'll sleep on the couch - I always do anyway," he said, smiling.
    He turned a corner and went into the bedroom.

    Mulder fiddled inside the bedroom, and a bed mysteriously popped up out of nowhere. Tani wandered around the confusingly laid-out apartment,
    wandering into the bathroom by mistake. Turning around, she found
    herself in the kitchen. It was only when Mulder called to her that she
    finally located the bedroom.

    "Here, the bed hasn't been slept on in quite a while, but it should be
    fine," said Mulder. "You can wash up in there..."

    But before Mulder could finish up his sentence, he noticed that Tani had
    thrown off her jacket and planted herself down on the sofa in the living
    room, turning on the TV. Noticing Mulder approaching, she turned to look
    up at him and said, "Sorry, but I'm an insomniac. Never been able to
    sleep like a normal person."

    Mulder plopped himself down on the sofa next to Tani and replied, "I
    know just what you mean. I have the exact same problem myself."



    * * *



    Scully watched as the last of the women filed out of the club, staggering
    and helping each other towards the door. Lemma carried away the
    remaining empties and made her way back to Scully's table, taking a
    seat across from Scully.

    "So, did you enjoy the show?" asked Lemma.

    "Well, it was... different," said Scully, uncertain whether she even
    understood the show or not, much less enjoyed it.

    "Well, you know," continued Lemma, "it's a real popular attraction for the ladies. It's not exactly *my* cup of tea, but the job helps pay the bills.
    An education can be pretty expensive these days. You see, I'm working on
    my master's in applied mathematics, Ms. Scully."

    Scully smiled, charmed by Lemma's openness and sprightly energy. "That's
    Dana - remember, you can call me Dana," she said, gazing into Lemma's deep, entrancing eyes. "So tell me, Lemma, going to school during the day and working nights - how do you manage to have any fun?"

    Lemma blushed and responded, "Well, Ms. Scully, er, Dana, I suppose it *is* kind of difficult to meet people, working such late hours and all. In fact,
    it can get downright lonely sometimes. But I do manage."

    Almost subconsciously, Scully reached over across the table and placed her hand on top of Lemma's. Lemma was a bit startled, and started to pull her hand back. But then she saw Scully's reassuring smile and relaxed her
    hand, leaving it in place. A bit embarrassed, she looked down at the
    table, then raised her head again briefly to steal a glance at Scully.
    She noticed Scully gazing at her admiringly with a sweet smile on her face.

    Feeling suddenly flustered, Lemma cleared her throat and turned the topic
    of conversation back to the investigation. "Ahem, Ms. Scully - er, Dana, sorry, there I go again. Now you wanted to know more about Mr.
    Robertson's abduction?"

    Scully moved her hand off Lemma's, then ran her forefinger down the length
    of Lemma's pinkie. "That's right, Lemma. You say you heard from people
    who saw Mr. Robertson shortly before he was abducted?"

    "Yes, Ms... er, Dana. He was seen leaving the church last Sunday, around 2
    in the afternoon. Several people saw him walking home - he lives no more
    than a couple of miles from the church. But some friends went to call on
    him later in the day and he wasn't home. And no one's seen him since."

    Scully paused to admire Lemma's voluptuous full red lips as they formed
    her words, delivered in the clearest and softest voice she had ever heard. She began to slide into a trance brought on by Lemma's mesmerizing voice,
    when the manager suddenly interceded. "Hey lady, we're closing here. Go
    home and give it a rest, will ya?"

    Surprised, Lemma glanced back at the manager, then looked back at Scully.
    "Um, Ms. Dana, perhaps you could come back tomorrow night, and we could
    talk some more then?"

    Scully looked back at her with longing eyes and said, "Well, why don't I
    drive you home? My car's parked just outside."

    Lemma was a bit hesitant, but she thought Scully looked sincere. And
    besides, she had been such a dear... "Okay, I'll just finish up here, and
    we can be on our way."

    Several minutes later, Scully and Lemma got into the Taurus. They left
    the parking lot and drove east. Lemma pointed the way towards a park a
    short distance away, and Scully pulled up in front of a modest trailer.

    Scully stepped out and noticed some heads popping out from neighboring
    trailers and glancing in her direction. As soon as she turned to look at them, however, they quickly disappeared back inside.

    Shaking her head, Scully turned back towards Lemma, who unlocked the door
    to her trailer. She pointed the way in, saying "It may not be much, but
    it's home. Won't you come in for a spot of tea?"

    Scully grinned like the Cheshire cat. "Why, I'd be delighted, Lemma."



    * * *



    Mulder handed Tani the remote, then got up and walked over to the kitchen
    to boil some water. "Tani, do you want some coffee or tea?" he asked.

    "Got any Wild Turkey?" she asked.

    "Coffee it is, then," replied Mulder wryly.

    Several minutes later, Mulder curled up next to Tani, placing the two
    coffee mugs down on the table. "So, Tani, why don't you tell me a bit more about yourself?"

    "What do you want to know?" she asked, picking up a mug and sipping the
    dark black coffee.

    "Well, how about telling me how you ended up here in D.C.?"

    Tani leaned back in the sofa, taking a deep breath. She started, "well,
    Fox,"

    "Call me Mulder," he interjected.

    Tani gave him a funny look, then continued. "Okay, Mulder, see - it's
    like this. I started out in Duluth, where I grew up. My older brother, he played in a local rock band. I jammed with his band once in a while,
    playing drums. But later, when they decided to take their act on the road, that was splitsville. They took a drummer with 'em that was old enough to
    get into the bars where they'd play."

    "So I hung around town for a while, playing with a couple of bands here
    and there. But I eventually got bored with those losers - I wanted to get around, see the sights. So I hit the road and started hitching from town
    to town, playing with the odd band here and there."

    "And so you ended up here," said Mulder. Eyeing her suspiciously, he
    asked, "do you really play the drums?"

    Tani chuckled, and reached down to the floor to dig inside her jacket.
    She pulled out a pair of drumsticks and proudly waved them in front
    of Mulder. She then promptly began drumming on Mulder's coffee table.
    She struck notes on the wooden surface, the half-empty coffee mugs, and
    then on Mulder's knee. She giggled and looked up into his eyes.

    Smiling, Mulder took the drumsticks from Tani's hands and began slowly strumming them on her knees, then her thighs, and then her shoulders. He
    said jokingly, "so, you have a gig here yet?"

    "Not just yet. For now, I just figured I'd hook up with a cute guy
    who'd be understanding and supportive of my career goals," she said coyly.

    "Well, I guess you got lucky then," said Mulder, leaning towards her. He
    felt her warmth as she also leaned towards him, first rubbing her thighs against his, then her elbows, and then her shoulders. Her face approached his, and he turned his head slightly and aimed his smackers towards her
    purple lips.

    Soon, Mulder's lips were locked in a passionate kiss with Tani's, and his hands wrapped themselves around her head and neck. Tani's hands started wandering over Mulder's back, feeling out every one of his sleek muscles.

    Mulder pulled Tani towards him, laying her down on the couch on her back.
    His hands started wandering around her body, exploring her hair, her shoulders, her back. They drifted lower, to the small of her back, the
    curve of her hips, her thighs, her feet. Ouch, he cried quietly to
    himself, those darn spurs on her boots...



    * * *



    Scully entered the modest trailer, which was surprisingly immaculate.
    Not a single dirty pan or plate could be seen anywhere, and Scully was
    suitably impressed. Looking around further, she noticed that although the trailer was small, it had a nice, homey feeling to it, like the place was actually lived in. Perhaps the crochet stitchings and Norman Rockwell
    prints on the walls had something to do with it.

    "Won't you please sit down and make yourself comfortable?" said Lemma,
    putting away her purse and reaching for a tea kettle. "Would you like some coffee or tea?"

    "Tea would be delightful," responded Scully, sitting down on the old
    but tastefully covered up couch. She eyed the surroundings and realized
    this was probably just how she'd decorate a trailer - if she were to ever
    live in a trailer, that is.

    Scully observed Lemma as she came over with the tea platter and sat down
    next to her on the couch. Scully sensed that Lemma recognized the mutual attraction, but she still seemed a bit nervous. Well, I'll change that
    in no time, she thought.

    Scully scooted over closer to Lemma, and was pleased to see that Lemma
    didn't move away. Scully then subtly rubbed her thighs and hips with
    Lemma's, and noticed Lemma beginning to blush. She decided to play to the situation, taking the initiative.

    "So, Lemma, it must be rather lonely in here, living in this trailer all
    by yourself," said Scully. She pretended to stir the sugar in her tea,
    while gauging Lemma's reaction out of the corner of her eye.

    "Well, it's not so bad, actually... I have my neighbors and all. They're really quite friendly, especially Mrs. Johnson next door. We're the best
    of friends; she comes over a lot, and we chat all the time."

    Damn, this line wasn't working, thought Scully. She decided to adopt
    another approach. "Um.., Lemma, tell me - do you remember when you were young, and you and your girlfriends would share each other's innermost secrets?"

    "Why, sure, I remember," replied Lemma, smiling. "It wasn't that long ago
    that my high school girlfriends and I would gather together in my bedroom, telling each other our secrets until we got tired and went to sleep."

    "Well, Lemma, we can do that too," said Scully coyly. "Why don't we share
    our deepest, innermost secrets with each other? I promise not to tell your secrets to anyone else, and I trust you won't tell mine to anyone either," said Scully seductively.

    "Um, I'm not sure, Ms. Scully..." said Lemma hesitantly.

    "Well, if you're not comfortable telling me your secrets yet, why don't I start off," said Scully, batting her eyelashes. "Why, I remember when I
    was younger, about your age right now, about the time I was a senior in college. I remember I had many, many girlfriends, but there was this one special friend I had, who was ever so dear to me."

    "I remember we'd do everything together. We were the best of friends, and
    we were inseparable. And we swore we'd never ever let a man get between us. Because, you know, men are evil. They only want one thing, which is what
    we have. They don't truly understand love, real love. They don't
    understand the honest, genuine love that two open-minded women can share. They can't possibly understand that only a woman can truly ever love
    another woman."

    Scully leaned closer to Lemma, but Lemma pulled her head away slightly, as
    if still holding on to a glimmer of doubt. She was about to speak, but
    Scully cut her off and continued her soliloquy.

    "I'm speaking of the deep, beautiful, sincerest form of love that comes
    from the heart, Lemma. That's something a man can never feel, because he doesn't have the inner beauty and harmony that we women posses. And in
    order for us to truly explore and understand this love, Lemma, we must
    give in, give in to our passion for each other, our innermost desires.
    We must revel in the beauty of two women joining and becoming one, sharing their deepest needs and wants, entwining their fantasies and their
    realities. They must bond together and become one, Lemma."

    And with that, Scully locked her lips on Lemmas, as she felt the heat
    pulsing through Lemma's veins. She put her arms around Lemma's neck and embraced her, and she felt Lemma doing the same to her.



    * * *



    Mulder reached down and unbuckled Tani's snakeskin belt. He then peeled
    back Tani's cutoff jeans like a grapefruit, pulling them down beneath her ankles. They got caught in her boot spurs, and Mulder tugged and yanked
    them to pull them free. Unfortunately, Mulder heard a ripping sound, and
    the torn shorts came loose in Mulder's hands. "Oops," he muttered.

    "It's okay," said Tani, as she reached down to unbutton his shirt.
    The button holes on his denim shirt were too small, however, and Tani
    muttered under her breath as she struggled to guide a button through the opening. She swore at the shirt's manufacturer, growing ever more
    frustrated. Finally, she gritted her teeth and gathered up all her
    strength, ripping the shirt off Mulder's chest.

    Mulder was startled, but he didn't let it slow their pace. He reached
    over to grab the bottom of Tani's T-shirt, and pulled it over her head, revealing a sexy black bra underneath. He then lowered his hands and
    grabbed a stocking, pulling and rolling it down to her ankles. He lifted
    it off her foot and then did the same to the other stocking. Lowering
    himself to remove the second stocking from her feet, he suddenly realized
    that Tani probably hadn't bathed in quite a while. However, the musky
    smell only made him want her even more.

    Tani bent down and undid Mulder's pants, sliding them effortlessly off
    his legs. She noticed he was wearing red silk boxer shorts with little
    hearts on them - her favorite kind. She pulled on the elastic on the
    shorts, pulling them down to reveal the throbbing treasure inside.

    Mulder reached over Tani's back and fumbled with her bra. He swore at
    the man who designed these contraptions, wondering why they were always
    so much trouble to remove in the heat of passion. Grumbling, he finally managed to undo the hooks, and slipped off the bra over Tani's head. But
    as Tani tried to pull her arm out, the cups entwined her neck, and she
    started gasping. Only a quick recovery by Mulder kept her face from
    turning as blue as Mulder's denim shirt.

    Recovering, Mulder then reached down and pulled down her panties, noticing
    a tattoo on the inside of her right thigh. It said "Bubba."

    Mulder bent over her and laid her down on the sofa on her back. He
    reached down and gently kissed her lips, and then her cheeks. Soon, his smooch began to wander over her body. Her chin was next, then her nose,
    her ears, her neck, her elbow, the back of her knees...

    Finally, Mulder reached down and approached her precious flower, her womanhood, her dark cavern, her tunnel of love... She separated her
    creamy white thighs (and they *were* like real cream, not the cheap half-and-half mix of cream and milk, but the genuine 100% cream,
    full of milkfat)...

    Mulder gently kissed the inside of her thighs, working his way up to the
    buried treasure chest. He noticed yet another tattoo on her left thigh, saying "Goose." Ignoring it, Mulder climbed yet higher, finally reaching
    the valley of passion, the hidden caves of lust, the gates of delirium.
    He cautiously parted its doors with his fingers, lingering in the
    odoriferous lobby before plunging his tongue into the depths of its
    sacred halls.

    Soon, Mulder's tongue was exploring every corner of the love box, as if engaging in a long overdue spring cleaning. And while Mulder normally
    wasn't exactly a spic-and-span type of guy, he was certainly doing a
    thorough enough job of it here, and Tani was appreciating every minute
    of it.

    After several minutes of mopping up everything around it, Mulder finally landed on the jewel, the prize package of her cereal box. He caressed the small bulbous crest of her womanhood, the focal point of her feminine
    desires. A fire erupted inside Tani, as Mulder's tongue lashed out at her like a flame licking up from a burning torch.

    Mulder lifted his head back up and crawled forward on Tani's taut belly.
    He made his way up to her lips and kissed her, as she embraced him tightly.
    She could feel his tongue creeping into her mouth, exploring every
    millimeter of it... His tongue meshed with hers, jousted with it, and
    felt out the outline of her teeth. Exploring further, he found a bit of
    a candy bar stuck in her back teeth, apparently several days old. Hmm, it still tasted sweet, he thought.

    From there, his tongue found its way to the roof of her palate, to the
    back of her mouth, down the back of her throat, and down her windpipe...
    Oops, perhaps a bit too far, thought Mulder, and promptly withdrew his
    tongue back into his own mouth.

    He climbed on top of her, and Tani could feel the warmth of his
    manhood rubbing against her thigh. It felt like someone had been leaning
    over her with a hot dog, and accidentally let the wiener fall out of
    the bun and onto her leg. Only, it was a huge wiener - more like a
    summer sausage - hmm... that wasn't it either; it was actually closer to
    a salami, one of those big tan things seen hanging in the butcher shop...

    Tani parted her thighs apart like the pages of a well-worn book, inviting Mulder to enter the warm pleasure zone. Their hearts pounded with anticipation.



    * * *


    Lemma eased herself onto the bed, as Scully gently pulled off the
    waitress skirt. Scully removed her own jacket and threw it behind her,
    as she climbed onto the bed by Lemma's feet. She bent down and pulled
    off Lemma's left stocking, then her right. She then reached down and
    undid her own skirt, letting it drop to the foot of the bed.

    Scully crawled up closer to Lemma, and undid the buttons on Lemma's
    blouse. As Lemma breathed deeply, Scully pulled the blouse over her
    head and arms, then threw it back over her shoulder. Scully then
    removed her own blouse, and tossed it behind her between her legs.

    Scully then bent over Lemma and slid her hands under her back, unclasping
    her bra. She apparently had a rather easy time of it, and the bra was
    loose in a fraction of a second. Scully lifted the bra over Lemma's arms, admiring the full curve of her creamy breasts. They looked as enticing as
    a pair of frosted sweet rolls on a silver platter.

    Scully then reached down and pulled Lemma's panties off, revealing the
    moist brown forest nestled between her soft tan legs. Scully stopped to breathe in the deep fragrance of the jungle, then proceeded to throw the panties back over her shoulder.

    Scully then deftly removed her own bra, exposing her own pert breasts to
    a smiling Lemma. She then removed her panties and threw then behind
    her, under her left arm this time. "Wow, Dana - you really *are* a
    redhead," exclaimed Lemma.

    Scully smiled and eased herself back down on the bed, as she caressed
    Lemma's thighs with her fingertips. Lemma sighed softly as she lay back
    on the bed, appreciating Scully's soft touch. Scully noticed that Lemma
    still seemed a tad tense to the touch - but she figured she would take
    care of that soon enough.

    Scully lowered herself still further, and maneuvered herself between
    Lemma's thighs. She gently parted Lemma's legs apart, and began rubbing
    the insides of her thighs, making little looping circles in the direction
    of her lush caverns.

    Scully sensed that Lemma was beginning to become more relaxed, and figured
    she was ready. She pulled herself up close to Lemma's folds and kissed
    them gently. She slowly parted the pink passion flaps with her fingers,
    and kissed the insides of the open lips.

    Looking up, she saw Lemma moaning softly with pleasure. Scully realized
    Lemma had at last given in completely, finally submitting herself to
    total passion. Scully dove in eagerly for the enticing feast.



    * * *



    Mulder reached down to grab Tani's hips, then gently inserted his manly extension into her warm, inviting interior. Tani squealed with pleasure
    as she felt him entering her drawing room, dropping in ever so slowly to
    say hello.

    Mulder thrust his third leg in fully into Tani's chamber, and was
    rewarded with a quick "Ooh" from Tani. From her vantage point, his
    appendage seemed a mile long, like a telephone pole, like a mighty
    douglas fir - only with no leaves.

    Mulder began the rhythmic strokes, and Tani reached up to brace herself on
    his shoulders. Together, they rocked back and forth, gently at first,
    like a leaf swaying in the wind. They then they progressed into long
    steady strokes, like waves in the ocean. Then the rocking intensified as
    they began wheezing and puffing, like an engine cylinder with a
    blown gasket.

    After a few minutes in the prone position, they shifted around. Mulder climbed off of Tani and sat down on the couch, and she got up and
    maneuvered herself onto his lap. She parted her legs and sat herself down
    on the saluting flagpole, feeling it climb inside her like a hand digging inside a nearly empty pickle jar.

    Gently, Tani began the vertical motion, balancing herself with her hands
    on Mulder's shoulders. The stroke was smooth and straight at first, as
    she rode him like a bicycle pump. Then the stroke turned into a rocking motion back and forth, as she rode him like a cradle. Then the ride became wilder, as her mount turned into a bucking bronco. A little later, the
    strokes sped up even faster, and she rode him like a jackhammer.

    Finding herself on the ride of her life, Tani intensified her grip on
    Mulder's shoulders, as he grabbed her derriere and propelled her up and
    down the elevator shaft. She pulled him closer to her, embracing him
    around his neck, burying Mulder's face in her heaving breasts. Mulder
    nearly suffocated from the lack of oxygen, but that didn't keep him from bouncing Tani up and down in his lap.

    The momentum kept building, as Tani bounced up higher and higher, faster
    and faster, like a kid on a trampoline. Tani and Mulder panted and
    breathed in gasping spurts, as their complete attention and energy
    focused on the rocking ride. Tani's passions drove her to the point of insanity, fanning her flames of ecstasy. She felt a maddeningly intense
    fit of pleasure, driving her to the edge of consciousness, until she
    felt she could take no more.

    Mulder likewise felt the pleasure building up in his manly center,
    welling up into a bomb, a rocket, an orbital booster ready to launch off
    into space at any moment. It was all he could do to keep his attention focused on Tani, as he felt his body taking over, obeying only his most
    basic animal instincts. He felt the tension building up within him,
    like a ripe melon about to erupt, like a water balloon filled to the point
    of bursting, like a link sausage being squeezed by a steam roller.

    Then, in an intense fit of madness, their passions exploded. Stars went
    off in Tani's head, as she was sent spiraling up into a geosynchronous
    orbit. She marveled at the stars and galaxies roaming about, as she
    gasped to recover her senses.

    Mulder wrenched a couple of times, releasing his pent-up juices into
    Tani's love canal. He felt his passion rising up into Tani's embrace, as intense pleasure swelled throughout his body like a shot of 200-proof vodka.
    He lurched a couple of more times, then sank back on the couch. He felt
    both fulfilled and spent at the same time, like a lemon with all its
    juices squeezed out. He took a deep breath, as Tani sighed and sank her
    face into his chest.


    * * *


    Scully rolled onto her back, drawing Lemma closer to her. She grabbed
    Lemma's hand and pulled it up to her chest, guiding it around her left
    breast and onto her nipple. She then led Lemma's forefinger into circles around the nipple, now as erect and straight as a London palace guard. She then pulled Lemma's other hand up to her mouth and kissed it gently,
    sucking on each individual finger in turn.

    Lemma crawled up next to Scully, and bent her head forward to lock her
    lips with Scully's. Their mouths opened, and Lemma's tongue met Scully's, exchanging greetings in the doorway. The tongues visited Scully's house, exploring every nook and cranny, and did the same with Lemma's. The
    tongues danced together, intertwined, forming a ribbon, a braid, then a pretzel.

    Lemma finally unlocked her lips from Scully's, and slithered back down on
    the bed. She climbed atop Scully's legs, as Scully spread her thighs wide apart. Lemma buried her face beneath Scully's equator, and only her soft brown hair remained visible from Scully's vantage point.

    Lemma explored Scully's love channel as Scully had done with hers. She
    gently strolled around the neighborhood, approaching the front yard
    carefully and deliberately. She crept up ever so slowly to the front door, gently caressing the doorway. She then parted the doors aside, and threw herself headfirst into the lobby.

    She buried herself in the warmth and sweetness of Scully's honeybucket, visiting every microinch of her moist and flavorful fruit basket. She
    pulled Scully's legs up above her shoulders as she burrowed her face and tongue further and further into Scully's love box.

    Lemma felt Scully rocking back and forth as she reeled from the passion
    of Lemma's licks. She moaned out in pleasure, and gently ran her fingers through Lemma's hair. She alternately tightened and released her muscles
    as Lemma teased her and toyed with her pleasure center, like a little girl playing 'keep-away' with a puppy.

    Eventually, the passion inside Scully began to build, as the heat and
    tension around her love zone began to mount. The tension turned into
    madness, then into delirium, as the fit of passion overcame her and
    pulsated through every inch of her body. Scully felt her body form
    goose bumps from the fits of pleasure, her every nerve ending saturated
    by an intense ray of blinding ecstasy. Finally, she exploded in a
    cataclysmic firework of a climax, a coda fortissimo, her entire body convulsing in the aftermath.

    It seemed to take Scully forever to recover from the sensory overload.
    She paused to take a deep breath, then noticed Lemma scooting up next to
    her with a big grin on her face. Lying there and stroking Lemma's hair,
    Scully spoke. "Well, Lemma, I think I finally believe in aliens -
    because this night with you was really out of this world!"



    THE END


    (Hey, I warned you about this! :^)
    --
    Steven Han - shan@nyx.cs.du.edu - finger for PGP key

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