This is a collection of poems inspired by The X-Files. The author is
Dulcinea. Please e-mail all comments to her.

'Samantha'--Dulcinea

Every single night as I dream
The guilt kicks in for losing you
I know I could have helped somehow...
Even though it's been so many years
I still see you when I close my eyes..
-helpless
-scared
-calling my name
And I can't do anything
It's taken over every part of me
Every other thought...
Yet sometimes I wonder if it ever happened at all
Just a run-away imagination
Maybe you never even existed in the first place...
But then I wake up from the nightmare and see your picture on the nightstand And I know I have to find you
But by now you must have changed
What if I pass you on the street one day, not knowing?
A foot away from what I 've wanted to see most for so long
And not even noticing
I wonder if you remember me and blame me for your pain
It's all right; I do
Every spare moment of my time
I'm sorry I failed
Is the humiliation of believing enough of an apology?
Having everyone look away because they think I've lost it
Is that enough penance to bring you back?


'Starbuck'--Dulcinea

I remember that one conversation we had so many years ago
I disappointed you-I'm sorry, father
I did it because it was what I wanted
And now I can't even explain it to your face
I sometimes wonder what you'd think of me now
All that's happened to my life you didn't see
My mother says you forgave me for that choice I made
But I still want to hear it from you
Even though I know I can't
It's too late-I missed my chance
Then I might have missed it again
He's gone too
I convinced myself that I knew what you would say
But now I'm not so sure
Now that I've gotten used to you being gone
Beyond this world to somewhere else
Say hello to everyone up there for me
If there is a place that you went
Not just gone into nothing
All your love, hate, joy, sorrow, memories....gone
It's getting harder to think sometimes, so I just don't know
I don't know what to think
I'd ask for help but there's nothing you can do
Too late
But even so, I still wonder:
Were you proud of me?......


These are a few more X Files poems....I copyright em now, too...<g>

'Heat'--an F.Mulder Abduction poem by Dulcinea (copyright 10/17/1994)

It was cold outside that dark night in Massachusetts
But it was warm inside
The thermostat read 70 degrees
I know; I'll never forget a detail of that night
Sitting in the living room with....her
Playing a board game-I was winning when we quit
Never finished it...nevermind.
We argued over TV shows-what a waste of time
But that's what we did
It was 70 degrees..
Then something happened to the lights
I blamed her, and now I'm sure she blames me
The next thing I felt was a paralyzing chill
Though the thermostat still read 70 degrees.
Then I heard her-I HEAR her calling my name
She was the last one to ever do that
And of course I let her down
As she floated away
Still screaming
And 'they' told me that she'd be coming back soon
And when the light faded I just sat there
Crouched on the floor, shivering
Though the thermostat read 70 degrees.

'Glance'--an F.Mulder Separate Cases poem by Dulcinea
(copyright 10/17/94)

Walking
To yet another Rent-A-Car
To yet another case
To yet another crime scene
To yet another scene of other's misery
To yet another waste of my time
This isn't what I wanted
But I'm here anyway
A wish is now a hobby-was a job
And now all that I can do
Is glance behind me
Looking for something unexplained following behind
Instead all I see are demeaning glances
Instead of what I'm really looking for.
I don't mind the glances-I'm used to it now
But no longer having a reason for them to glance as I glance behind me
I miss it when I think about it
And recall why I let them glance before
For the truth
That they can't see
And I can't find proof of
Besides in my mind
And other people's minds..
I glance behind me to see if she's there
But she's gone too
To yet another rent-a-car
To yet another case
To yet another autopsy
To yet another scene of others' misery
To yet another waste of her time
Maybe glancing behind her for something unexplained
And therefore routine.

'Skepticism'--a D.Scully Early in Series poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/18/94)

And let me guess
To what comes next
In the story you're telling me
An alien the colour green?
And you expect me to believe you?
No wonder all the others see you
As 'spooky' and you remain
A stranger who seems insane
Looking for something you seem unaware
That there is no proof that it is there
No wonder they asked me here
I understand now why they feared
You getting out of control
Not everything-or anything-is unexplained, I'm told
And I believe-them, not you
That what you see before you is the truth
Most likely, and the unexplained is rare
If, at all, it's ever there
Why do you believe when you have no proof?
This foolishness can't be the truth...
?

"Insanity?"-a F.M. 'Duane Barry' poem by Dulcinea(copyright 10/21/94)

It doesn't make sense
Just like everything else
Everything that I touch is failed
Everything I hold dear soon dies
..or fades away into the nothingness
That fills my life while there's nothing else
The blood's not washing off my hands
The blood of everything I've ever cared for
And now some of it is fresh
The blood of another failure of mine
They always go away
Ever since I was a child I've failed
Intertwined with success setting me up
For the big fall
Of myself and/or someone else
I do not want to be without.
First a sister, then like a sister
Gone...gone away...
And so many in between to find,
To bury
That scream my name when I try to sleep
Which I can never do again
I'll do without somehow
I've done without so many things, I won't miss it
I'm doing without them
And the blood's clouding my vision
As I beg for someone else to blame
But I know it's me
Always has been, why should it change?
An apology won't bring them back
And my candle's melted to the end
I can't hold it much longer anymore for them to come home..


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These poems are based on the characters and situations created by Cris
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting. Used without
permission and no infringement intended.
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